heavenonearth Posted June 22, 2021 Share Posted June 22, 2021 half a year i relocated to my home town and live now next door to my high school best friend, who i havent seen in many years. we reconnected and now spend a lot of time together. i started to notice that she began copying a lot of the things i am doing. at first it was not too bad. she saw i bought a pilates mat, so she bought one. i bought a skateboard, she bought one. she asked what shampoo i am using, then bought the same shampoo. she now copied my whole skincare routine to a T, and whenever there is a snack i like or a drink i like she will have it in her fridge the next time i come over (not to offer, but bc it is now her fav too). now she downloaded the game i am playing on my phone, and started to watch the same show i am watching and just bought a hulahoop, bc i got a hulahoop. so far so good, i feel. she now wants to get into biking (because I am), ordered an embroidery set (because i am doing embroidery), and last time i saw her she wore clothes that were not her style at all, and it looked like she took something straight out of my closet. the other day she came over and asked if she could borrow a shirt of mine for work the next day. at first i felt flattered that i inspired her to try new things, but now i just feel it has become a bit off. so off, that when she changed her profile photo on social media to one with my pet (instead of her pet), i got a bit creeped out. she now is looking for a new apartment and is specifically only looking at attic apartments (guess what, i live in an attic apartment). then she asked where i got my kitchen from... it is at a point where, whenever she is coming over, i am expecting her to copy a new thing. the crazy thing is also, that she ends up not even doing all the things she is copying. she hasn't even used the pilates mat once, for example. this has all happened in the matter of, like, 3 months, by the way. is this normal? i feel if we were 15 i would maybe understand, but we are in our thirties... am i too sensitive here? should i cut her some slack? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Sounds creepy! Does she have other friends she hangs out with? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Reminds me of an old movie from the "90's "Single White Female"... I'm with @FMW... sounds a bit creepy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavenonearth Posted June 23, 2021 Author Share Posted June 23, 2021 8 hours ago, FMW said: Sounds creepy! Does she have other friends she hangs out with? she has one other friend (which is her best friend from childhood), but other than that, no. she lives with her husband and they are about to get separate apartments to try out a new relationship model for themselves. i just am so annoyed by the fact that i feel the friendship is so one sided. we also always talk about her problems and then she just always copies everything i do. i wish there was something she'd inspire me about, or that i could be more vulnerable with her. but i really don't dare to. i am a bit sad about it too, bc since moving here, she has been MY only friend, you know. haven't been able to meet anyone bc of lockdown, and all my friends are basically online. hope that will change soon, tho. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Distance yourself as much as possible and don't share this much info with her. Boundaries are your friends with someone like this. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, heavenonearth said: she lives with her husband and they are about to get separate apartments to try out a new relationship model for themselves. I guess this is the issue She has no idea who she is any more. She is no longer Mrs |Married Lady. she has to carve out her own new identity and in the meantime is taking short cuts by copying your Single lifestyle right down to the clothes you wear, the food you eat... Either this separation was not her idea and she is suffering mentally because of it, or it was her idea and it may indicate some mental health issues are behind her thinking processes.. Edited June 23, 2021 by elaine567 Typo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 (edited) I was going to jokingly suggest you invite her over to watch Single White Female. See if she gets it. You need to talk to her. She probably feels lost & she's imitating you because you look like you have your act together while she's casting about for any stability. She may not realize how much she's copying you. For the 1st conversation be gentle but after that start putting distance in here. Edited June 23, 2021 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 Imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted June 25, 2021 Share Posted June 25, 2021 Why are you friends with this person anyway? Does the friendship benefit you or make you happy in any way, or is it only a negative? Just because you were close friends in high school does not mean that you should be friends now. Maybe you have outgrown this friendship and it's time to put an end to it. You are not obligated to do anything, you are not obligated to remain best friends with this person. It sounds like it's really time to branch out and get some new friends. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted June 25, 2021 Share Posted June 25, 2021 if you really want to test your theory, go get a mowhawk and see if she also gets a mohawk. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 25, 2021 Share Posted June 25, 2021 8 minutes ago, flitzanu said: if you really want to test your theory, go get a mowhawk and see if she also gets a mohawk. Actually that's a good idea. Do something really weird and see if she does it. Link to post Share on other sites
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