How should someone react when someone dumps you? Act civil and 'wish them luck' in hopes of them being friends and coming back to you if things don't work out with the other?

[ExpatInItaly]

9 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

well....i suppose i was hoping it could last for like 2 more years while he's in school.

2 more years?

Oh, Katkats. That was never going to happen. If he does want a serious girlfriend, it isn't going to be someone 20 years older than him. And if he doesn't? He's going to try have fun with as many ladies as possible. Ones around his age who he can hang and party with and not feel awkward bringing out with him. It doesn't matter how fine with it would you have been; he clearly wasn't. 

But for you, what would have been the point of a relationship that would end when he graduates anyway? At this point in your life, what are you relationship goals? Again, we are just about the same age and I can't see myself wasting my time with someone I knew would eventually go his own way. 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Again, we are just about the same age and I can't see myself wasting my time with someone I knew would eventually go his own way. 

Especially at the age of 40.  Kats do you ever want a lifetime partner?

[Katkats7777]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

2 more years?

Oh, Katkats. That was never going to happen. If he does want a serious girlfriend, it isn't going to be someone 20 years older than him. And if he doesn't? He's going to try have fun with as many ladies as possible. Ones around his age who he can hang and party with and not feel awkward bringing out with him. It doesn't matter how fine with it would you have been; he clearly wasn't. 

But for you, what would have been the point of a relationship that would end when he graduates anyway? At this point in your life, what are you relationship goals? Again, we are just about the same age and I can't see myself wasting my time with someone I knew would eventually go his own way. 

Well, like I said before I don't like even close to 40. I look like I'm in my late 20's like 27-28. Maybe if I would have lied about my age and told him I was 27 the outcome would have been different, he would have asked me to be his date and invite me out with his friends for real. 27 would have been more acceptable for him within his social circle. 

If i would have lied about my age , he would have never known it. 

Edited June 28, 2021 by Katkats7777

[ExpatInItaly]

3 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

Well, like I said before I don't like even close to 40.

This is irrelevant, because this is not about your looks. 

4 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

If i would have lied about my age , he would have never known it. 

If this is seriously the way you think, you could probably do with some professional help. It is not okay to lie to people to get them to like you and would backfire. Guaranteed.

Have you dated men your own age before? When was your last relationship with one of them?

[Katkats7777]

7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This is irrelevant, because this is not about your looks. 

If this is seriously the way you think, you could probably do with some professional help. It is not okay to lie to people to get them to like you and would backfire. Guaranteed.

Have you dated men your own age before? When was your last relationship with one of them?

I don't want to date men my own age because majority of them have ex wives or like 4 kids. I don't want to date any man with kids. Never, and that doesn't not make me a horrible person that is my preference. 

Edited June 28, 2021 by Katkats7777

[ExpatInItaly]

6 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

I don't want to date any man with kids. Never, and that doesn't not make me a horrible person that is my preference. 

Who said it did?

I am also childless by choice and found a man who has the same desire for a child-free life as me. He is not 20 years younger, either. 

Let's just be real here. You are being unrealistic by dating much-younger men and expecting it to amount to much. That's just not the way it usually goes, for so many reasons. Yes, there are exceptions. But they are just that - exceptions. You are seeing why it doesn't generally work. 

So if you want a long-term commitment, you need to adjust your criteria. You are setting yourself up for hurt and disappointment by pursuing very young men. They are almost guaranteed to move along once they've had their fun with you. 

Edited June 28, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Katkats7777 said:

I don't want to date any man with kids. 

Many men in the over 40 group have almost grown kids. 

It may be best to forget about dating guys who have a teenage lifestyle. Unless that is something you're also interested in?

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

I don't want to date men my own age because majority of them have ex wives or like 4 kids.

Not all of them.  Perhaps this young boy doesn't want to date a woman who will be entering menopause soon either.  Hot flashes and dryness is not appealing to 20 year olds.

[Happy Lemming]

17 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

I don't want to date men my own age because majority of them have ex wives or like 4 kids. I don't want to date any man with kids. Never, and that doesn't not make me a horrible person that is my preference. 

And I agree with you...  After dating one single mom, I invoked a "no kids clause" as my number 1 deal breaker rule.  I never had problems finding childless women that were in my age range.

I went to places/venues/parties and engaged in sports/activities that a single mom would (usually) not attend, thus my chances of picking up a single mother were greatly reduced.

I did date one woman that had an adult daughter away at college.  If the child had been a minor or lived with the mother, I would not have dated this woman.

Yes... you do have to look a little harder for men with no kids or ex-wife baggage, but they are out there... and in your age range.

[HiCrunchy]

On 6/28/2021 at 9:45 AM, Allupinnit said:

My point stands and it's not cute when mature women try to reclaim the party girl youth they think they missed out on.  It looks SAD.

I mean if older women wanna party, all power to them. Just not with 20 year Olds. 

[Miss Spider]

Certainly don’t go “apesh^t”. What will that do? Sure, break ups suck , but the alternative be to be a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same way for you? That would suck too. Out of my breakups,  the ones who remained calm and understanding garnered way more respect. I saw their character as a stable human being with perspective, maturity , and their things together, realizing they have options .. the ones that get upset, mad, go psycho are just more proof you made the right choice.