Just feel like venting..

[danny_m]

Me and this girl were childhood friends, I had major crushes on her at 12 years old (back in 1992'ish). Went like 10 years without seeing eachother, knowing what eachothers lifes were like, just nothing. I moved to another state in like 1994. I always thought about her through the years, she always stuck in my memories. Well as you all know the internet was nothing as we know it now, back in those days, so early in the year 2000 when there was such thing as the internet as we know it now and white pages websites ect.. I thought what the heck and put her name in and the town that I used to live in, never thought anything would actually show up, and sure enough her name and number pop up, I was in complete dis-belief, here is a girl I knew a life time ago, my life was nothing like it was the 10 years prior, it was almost like a faded dream. and here was this girl from a past of mine's name and number on my computer screen along with her address. My head was in the clouds like BIG TIME, I felt something so strong for some reason. I went through some old boxes of mine and found a letter that she wrote me when we were 12 years old. Heck I did'nt even know if she would still remember who I was. I wrote her a letter just asking if this was the same jessica that wrote this letter to me and i sent along the letter. It just seemed too weird that it could have been the same girl. here I had a crush on a girl that i never stopped thinking about all the way from age 12 and i was now then I think 21 years old. To me contacting her would be like defying destiny, breaking the laws of nature, I totally moved away, I wasnt a kid anymore this is someone that i knew i'de never see or talk to again.

So anyhow, I get a letter back, it was her, she was totalyl in dis-belief like me, saying how it was so totally wierd. However she was pregnant and married. When I say feelings were so strong beyond being able to explain, trust me it was that strong. Like I did'nt know if we would all the sudden end up being togeather jsut because of some childhood crush. But we started talking on icq. Me and her were just speechless, we both felt something so strong, i remember her telling me "Does this feel wierd to you too?" I knew exactly what she meant. My head was sooooo in the clouds, like I could'nt even eat, and the fact that she felt something too, and with her being pregnant and married what could this mean, what could possibly happen? I just was'nt the same person, I did'nt know what was meant to happen, but I knew I never felt stronger about a person than I did for her right then, I like instantly fell in love. We started talking on the phone when her husband would work grave yard. It turned into a type of thing where she did'nt know what to do, she basiclly asked god "god why could'nt he have contacted me sooner" Like she totally felt the unbelievable magic for me like I did her, but here she was in a relationship and with a kid on the way.

I felt destiny brought us in contact with eachother, I felt what love really felt like. I just had to be with her, keep in mind I havent layed eyes on her since she was 12 years old and here im 21 years old now. Can you guys imagine how weird this was? Feelings were just so strong between us, we talked for 6 months, lusted for eachother, thought about eachother day and night, there was MAGIC. She told me that she did'nt think she wanted to be with her husband "they had been togeather for 2 years" and she was most likely going to leave him regardless. Well after 6 months of talking on the phone I packed my bags and moved to the town that I used to live in that seemed like a dream/life time ago, a life I put behind me, to be with this girl, I went there on the terms that we would get a place and just be "friends" by this time her child was born and 5 months old. So I get there, she leaves her husband, stays with me in a motel for a week until we get our own apartment, but like i said I went there to live with her being friends and well first night I get there she comes to the motel we lay eyes on eachother for the first time in 10 years, she still kinda looks the same, has the same beautifull eyes that I remember, it was soooo weird, well we lay her kid down on the bed and "it's like almost midnight" cute kid, little girl. anyhow I figured i would sleep on one bed and she would sleep on the other, she was like yea right, Anyhow we ended up all over eachother in the motel bathroom, within 45 minutes of seeing eachother for the first time were having sex like crazy in the bathroom, it all started by us just sitting next to eachother just kind speechless, feeling such a magic feeling, we hug and just hold eachother for a few minutes and the words come out from her "I am so wet right now" and i was like"oh my gosh, can i feel" and it was just wow from there, we had sooooo much lust built up from talking on the phone and it just all came out.

So from that night on there was no friendship, we were straight bf/gf. "yea things moved pretty fast. First year was weird, with the ex and the custody court stuff., to make a long story short after she got full custody he moved out of state and im dad to that kid, me and her now have a kid of our own "we had a kid within the first year of being togeather, so we have two kids, I concider hers my own just as much as my biological one. We have now been togeather for 5 years, married for almost 1 year. were family now, so weird how it all came about, but yea were family, going on 6 years, thats like forever. So we have a real special relationship. How it all came about, just so unique, never dated or anything, just togeather from day 1. She is soo the love of my life. I feel we are so special. anyway..

 

NOW,

we come from differant up-bringings, I kinda come from an upper class family and, well her dads in and out of jail and her moms a homeless meth user, she's never got to experiance or see what a relationship should be like.

To any girl that wants a guy that is loyal, trust worthy, has a heart, knows how to love, I am your dream man, to me family is for life. I would die in a split second without thinking twice for this girl, she's the mother of my kids, we have such history, I love her so much.

 

Her on the other hand, deep down inside I question how much I trust her.

Im very jelouse and so is she, she'll straight up admit she is a jelouse freak, I cant even talk to toher girls, but she has the mantality she can because "she trust's herself" she doesn't understand life doesn't work that way, you cant be a hypocrit. And she is such a hypocrit. She would kill me if I did some of the stuff she does. Right now she is in oregon cause thats where we are moving, im still in california taking care of stuff before I get the u-haul and bring our stuff up there. But i get so jelouse when she tells me she has gotten drunk since she's been there, has been friends with her cousins friend josh, she often sleeps over there cause she's kinda bouncing from differant family members houses up in oregon till I come up there with money and get a place, this josh guy works graveyard so she crashed in his bed while he was at work, to me it's just like god if i did that she would be soooo pissed, I mean the guy come home doesnt that look like an invitation?

She has'nt cheated on me, you guys will drill me for this, but Im the type I will never let anyting happen behind my back, I cant live not knowing things that could happen behind my back, so i'll check computer logs, phone logs ect.. Im very smart she would never get anything like that past me, im like an FBI investigator, I have a very inconspicuouse skill and can catch anything. but I do that cause I need to know that our relationship is faithfull, im insecure cause she truely hold my heart and if she ever cheated on me I would be over, she is my heart and soul as well as my kids. (any girls who like to be sneaky and or cheat i'de be your worst nightmare =) ) she's kinda the same way though too. but we both know were jelouse freaks so it's normal for us. So anyhow her being in another state is tuff, I dont really fear she will cheat on me but I hate how she is such a hypocrit, driving this guy around, sleeping in his bed (he lives at her cousins) , even if it's innocent it's hypocritical cause i would never be able to do it. And she just doesnt have that kind of relationship pride, like i doubt she even talks about me, unless it's something negative, i mean we do have our arguments and stuff.

Plus I dont think she is capable of loving the way i do, I literally love her with all my heart and soul, and she's basiclly tougher than I am, if she had to break up with me it might hurt but she could do it. I go a day without her and I go nutz, im so obbsessed with her, but her she's the type that would be like "come on it's only been 2 weeks, i kinda miss you but im enjoying my time alone" and it hurts cause i want someone that misses me like I miss them, I want someone that is crazy about me like i am her. Is this just a female thing, do girls enjoy time away from there husbands? is it normal for girls to be hypocritical because they "trust them selves"? If this is just normal femal crap then i guess i can be cool with it, but i so want someone that cant go a day without missing me like i miss her. Maybe i want too much, im just so lovey, but dont get me wrong, im not a clingy over nice guy, she often complains I dont show her enough love ect.. but my heart is real and I would do anything in the world for her and she knows it, I just wish she wasnt so hypocritical about the jelousy stuff "it's ok for her to do stuff that I couldnt do" and i wish she had the mantality and had a passion for the importance of a life long commitment. It's like i love her so much, and jesus we have the best sex, we are soooo compatible sex wise, she is in oregon and has been for a few weeks, i see her picture on the fridge and I just think there is no way i could go without that, she is just so yummy!!!(literally), plus like i say i love her like crazy.

Anyeways what the hell is my point of this post.

I guess is it normal for girls not to miss guys as much as they miss them.?

Is it normal for girls to be unfair and unbalanced as far as what they would allow they're man to do, as far as doing things they wouldnt put up with themselves?

Should i be jelouse and worry about her cheating, is it normal to not have 100% trust and to be jelouse?

Our relationship is good besides that, so i guess those are my two questions.

[onlyhuman]

You knew she was married carrying child and moved in for the kill!

She was married with child and cheated!

 

My advice is for the husband:

You are lucky to find out about this now.I feel for you.In this world there are people with no morales, ethics and only care for themselves.I am truly sorry for you and your child and I wish you the best.Sometime in the future you will meet a deserving women who will treat you right.

 

For you Danny.

I have no words to truly express my disgust with you and your lovely.

I hope that you get married and suffer the same fate that you bestowed upon the husband and child.Your brain is in your head, not your pants.

I reread your post twice before I answered, you make me sick!

 

Maybe this will jolt you enough to see the whole picture.

[danny_m]

well the husband was a physically abusive person "i moved in for the kill"? no I heard for 6 months how unhappy she was. but within 3 weeks of getting dumped he got with a girl and married her and they have been married now and everyone is happy the way things turned out. we're all married and have happy families now.

 

You said you read my post twice?

you say you hope I get married? We are married, we've been togeather going on 6 years, almost 3 times as long as the ex-husband, who himself has been remarried for just about the same amount of time.

 

weird reply... you must not know what love is. things do turn out better in unorthodox ways. Me, her, the ex-husband, his new wife, would'nt change anything if any were to turn back time. we are all happy. im just a jelouse person and my post was really of 2 or 3 questions that your reply did'nt entertain at all. But thanks anyways, your reply did'nt match our situation at all.

[BadBadGirl]

while i do think it's totally gross that you screwed a pregnant chick that you didn't impregnate, i hope it works out and that you're both happy.

 

i can see why the other poster didn't realize you weren't married, your post was very long and not split up too well.

 

i don't think you have to worry about her cheating anymore than you would worry about anyone else. yes, she did cheat WITH you, but you said yourself she was in a bad relationship, so maybe she wouldn't have cheated otherwise.

 

but if you do something wrong, will she go out and say "my husband isn't attentive; he's abusive; he's not satisfying me sexually; isn't doing the dishes;" etc, whatever the problem is---instead of taking care of the problem the right way and leaving you? it's possible, since she has handled it this way before.

[danny_m]

I see nobody is getting my post, i did'nt screw a pregnant chick, by the time i went to oregon the child was 5 months old, she wasn't pregnant, and this was almost 6 years ago, I should'nt even had brought it up, were a normal family now and have been togeather what seems like forever (almost 6 years) nobody even thinks about what happened back then as to us that is almost a life time ago too. Were a good family with 2 beautifull kids. How we got togeather was just wierd and thats what i explained but that is sooo in the past, many years ago.

 

let me just get the questions out there so nobody has to read my long post.

 

Is it normal for guys to miss there girl more than the girl misses there guy.

Do girls enjoy getting time away from there man.

Is it normal for girls to be jelous freaks, but they are fine doing things that they would never let you do cause "she trust's herself" is that just a chick thing?

[MDT]

Your girl snuck around behind her then husbands back to talk to you. Now that you're with her, how can you possibly expect her to not treat you the same way (e.g. talk to some other guy the second the "magic" between you two has worn off)? What goes around comes around dude.

 

MDT

[witabix]

1. Is it normal for guys to miss there girl more than the girl misses there guy.

2. Do girls enjoy getting time away from there man.

3. Is it normal for girls to be jelous freaks, but they are fine doing things that they would never let you do cause "she trust's herself" is that just a chick thing?

Ok Danny I will address your questions best I can....

 

1. No. An imbalance of 'missingness' is more about what the people feel for each other, I do not think it is a measure of commitment, more of how comfortable someone is with themselves, their relationship, and their partner. Remember we all need a space to live in, otherwise we suffocate. Its the amount space that different people need that seems to be the problem.

 

2. Yes, and we all do men and women. You cannot be the sun and the moon in someone elses life, but you can be enough.

 

3. NOPE! Thats not just a chick thing. Thats a control thing. I can control your behaviour but you cannot control mine.

 

To those posters who are judging this man I would say this, his actions may have been questionable and perhaps so were hers but, its their lives and thats the way the world works. I do not judge him, I would not condemn a person because of their actions, I may condemn their actions but never the person. The path of human emotions is never straight and open, I hope that all the people referred to in Danny's post find happiness, love and peace of mind. I hope that for everyone.