Muzara Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 It's kind of a messy situation. Me (28) and girlfriend (26) of 9 years broke up with me just over a month ago. We lived together for 8 of the 9 years together and also have a 5 year old daughter. We lived in a toxic house with toxic people and were unable to move out due to financial reasons. We argued alot and were both miserable living in that environment. We finally saved enough to move on our own but by then we were no longer together. We moved out and signed a 1 year lease together despite not being in a relationship together. Living in the previous house has made my ex very depressed and closed off and once we finally moved out she started reconnecting with old high-school friends and is now binge drinking almost every single night leaving me home with our daughter and not coming home for 1 or 2 nights at a time. Only to do it all over again after a few nights rest at home. We get along great when she isn't out drinking and talked about trying to repair things now that we live alone. She seems hesitant to try and repair things mainly because I think she's going through this party phase. It's so out of character for her as she absolutely adores our daughter and never before wanted to be away from her even for a few hours. Now she leaves and doesn't come home for multiple nights and it doesn't seem to phase her. I know the people she hangs around with are definitely party animals and are having an influence on her but I'm not sure what to do anymore? I want to fix our family and be there for her because I know she's hurting, but I know it's unhealthy for her to cope like this. Any advice or similar experiences? I can provide more details if anything is unclear. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 23, 2021 Share Posted June 23, 2021 (edited) You two need to decide if you want to be together or apart. And then find separate living quarters if you don't want to be together. Living together under one roof is a bad idea when you're no longer a couple. In my opinion, her behaviour is going beyond a party phase. She's a mom and doesn't really have the freedom to behave like a careless teen anymore. An occasional night out, sure. Mutliple nights when she doesn't come home? No. What she's doing is disrespectful to her own daugther, and it needs to stop. My guess is that she's interested in someone in this party group and has been spending time with him. You need to stop enabling her, for your own good but primarily for your daughter's. Edited June 23, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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