elaine567 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Trouble is some times the first born IS the favourite, the special one, it is not right it is not fair, but it is what it is. Maybe he just doesn't want his time at the weekend with his 5 year old to be ruined by a new baby. The fact he has never told his ex about you or the child is a huge red flag. I suggest you try to remove yourself and your son from this messy situation, before it starts to affect your son. Look for a guy who is proud of you and your child and will be a proper father and role model to him... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Are you sure this woman is his ex and not his girlfriend? This all sounds very much like he is already married or committed, and you are the unwitting Other Woman. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 I moved back in with my mother because she is disabled. He lives with his mother as well. He keeps saying for us to get a apartment but it has never happened. No he never gave a real reason as to why he seems to be living separate lives. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 I use to be around his 1st son all the time before our son together came along. I absolutely agree that his 1st son is his favorite. He complains about not being able to have a weekend to himself but yet he doesn't do anything about it. He says that his 1st child's mother works on the weekend and there is no one to watch their son and everytime he talks to her about how he needs a weekend or not being able to pick up his other son on the weekend, they get into a big argument and she will then threaten him that she will put him on child support. This is all what he tells me but who knows if that is the truth or not. He was there every step of the way when I was having our son. I almost died giving birth to my son. After having him I developed health conditions, I have endometriosis and I have high blood pressure at the age of 27. I really do not need the bulls***. When he does do stuff with me & his son on the weekends which isn't frequent, he has asked his mother to watch his 1st son while he goes out with us. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 It sounds like he is in a full blown relationship with his 1st baby momma. His mother seems heavily involved with that grandson and he makes him a priority as if they live together. Are you sure they don't live together? Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Beauty93 said: I use to be around his 1st son all the time before our son together came along. I absolutely agree that his 1st son is his favorite. He complains about not being able to have a weekend to himself but yet he doesn't do anything about it. He says that his 1st child's mother works on the weekend and there is no one to watch their son and everytime he talks to her about how he needs a weekend or not being able to pick up his other son on the weekend, they get into a big argument and she will then threaten him that she will put him on child support. This is all what he tells me but who knows if that is the truth or not. He was there every step of the way when I was having our son. I almost died giving birth to my son. After having him I developed health conditions, I have endometriosis and I have high blood pressure at the age of 27. I really do not need the bulls***. When he does do stuff with me & his son on the weekends which isn't frequent, he has asked his mother to watch his 1st son while he goes out with us. So he's not paying CS for his 1st son? Is he paying CS to you? As in, paying an established, reasonable amount on a date certain each month? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 He isn't on child support for either kid. He is not court ordered to pay child support. He is not on child support for me and his baby and he isn't on child support for his 1st son. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 2 minutes ago, Beauty93 said: He isn't on child support for either kid. He is not court ordered to pay child support. He is not on child support for me and his baby and he isn't on child support for his 1st son. Get a lawyer get CS for your son. This man should be paying CS for both his children. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 He lives with his mother he does not live with his other baby mother. He only lives 6 minutes away from me. I know for a fact he lives with his mother but all the other crap I can't figure it out. Exactly he does make him a priority. I understand he is the 1st born but damn don't forget about your baby son as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beauty93 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 That is exactly what I am going to do. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Beauty93 said: He isn't on child support for either kid. He is not court ordered to pay child support. He is not on child support for me and his baby and he isn't on child support for his 1st son. Why haven't you called for child support for your baby to which he's entitled? He sounds like so many dead beats who have several baby mamas that they go back and forth between to keep them sweet so they don't file for child support. They basically have sex with all so each one thinks she's the #1 momma and the one he really loves so they don't file. This game seems old but apparently it's still workiing. Are you still having sex with him? Edited June 27, 2021 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 31 minutes ago, Beauty93 said: He is not court ordered to pay child support. He is not on child support for me and his baby. Child support is something you, as your child's guardian, need to procure from the courts on the child's behalf. It's your responsibility as the parent. Child support is for your child, not you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 13 hours ago, Beauty93 said: I know for a fact he lives with his mother but all the other crap I can't figure it out. Exactly he does make him a priority It's because he's dating his ex, OP. He doesn't want her to find out that he has had another child with another woman. I cannot believe you have tolerated this for so long. Dump this clown and speak to a lawyer. Your child deserves (and is entitled to) financial support from his father. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted June 28, 2021 Share Posted June 28, 2021 First of all it is right that he prioritises his child over a free weekend for himself, he's the parent that's what he's supposed to do, after all the mother's raising him by herself the other 5 days of the week. By contrast you and your son get him 5 days out of the week, although granted he may be working part of that time. What is your main concern here? That your child isn't getting to know their sibling or that the ex doesn't know about the new family? What's stopping you simply going to his mother's place one weekend and taking your son? Are you afraid you'll find the ex there? Anyway, as I said before get child support sorted and do it quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
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