To tinder or not to tinder?

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

I changed my profile pic on meetup to SpongeBob SquarePants

Hopefully that's not your tinder profile pic. That could confuse you with a jokester. It's a fine avatar for other situations meant for some anonymity. Why not use it as your avatar  here?

[Katkats7777]

42 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Hopefully that's not your tinder profile pic. That could confuse you with a jokester. It's a fine avatar for other situations meant for some anonymity. Why not use it as your avatar  here?

Um no, I'm using spongebob squarepants as my profile pic just on MEETUP,  because I DO NOT like getting private messages on there from creepy guys that are using it like a dating app private messaging random girls. I'm not on meetup for guys to lure me into thinking they are looking to meet new people when in reality they are looking for DATES its pretty obvious from their pickup line, "hey cutie." For meetup I prefer to go to an event and would want to possibly meet another single if there is one in person, you know, like start a conversation in real life and work for it from there on. Tinder is a whole different story, tinder I'm there for guys to message me because its a dating app. 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Katkats7777

[SumGuy]

14 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

Um no, I'm using spongebob squarepants as my profile pic just on MEETUP,  because I DO NOT like getting private messages on there from creepy guys that are using it like a dating app private messaging random girls. I'm not on meetup for guys to lure me into thinking they are looking to meet new people when in reality they are looking for DATES its pretty obvious from their pickup line, "hey cutie." For meetup I prefer to go to an event and would want to possibly meet another single if there is one in person, you know, like start a conversation in real life and work for it from there on. Tinder is a whole different story, tinder I'm there for guys to message me because its a dating app. 

Well said.  

Meeting people through a Meetup is all well and good but I find those who think of it as some go-to treat it like a dating app.  Despite how politely people tell them no when they do so, they are still viewed as "that person," creep extraordinaire....and some groups have to filter and approve people for that reason.   

Same with the gym or grocery store, any place where a person's primary and secondary reasons for being there are other than being picked up AND more so is it a place they frequent, so some "rando" hitting on you makes one wonder if need to deal with them again next time you are there.   One reason there are women only gyms.   Of course "that person" never thinks twice about the vibe they put out, and has a plethora of rationalizations...and stories where it worked so thus it can't be a bother.  Such places require exquisite skill in talking to people and reading signals if one does not want to come off as "that person," thus really not the easy answer for most people who struggle with OLD.

In my view a Meetup is only a "good" place to meet people because you have an interest in common, but it is a very slow way to meet someone and not a pick up situation.  Perhaps you will click with someone and over time get to know each other, but that comes from conversation, working on getting to know someone, and just being open.  Of course it depends on the Meetup, the singles bar hopping ones are likely all about pick ups.   

[Katkats7777]

I decided NOT to do tinder, after having been on there for a few days and getting bombarded with messages, why should I make it easier for guys to not put much work into it and hide behind an app and not do the "approach" like in real life? At least at a bar, the old school approach is much appreciated with some witty pick up line with some liquid courage kicked in, I prefer to hear a guy tell me some funny joke where I could give the green light. 

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

At least at a bar, the old school approach is much appreciated with some witty pick up line with some liquid courage kicked in, I prefer to hear a guy tell me some funny joke where I could give the green light. 

You can meet someone you encountered on a dating app in a bar, no? Have you tried fine tuning your search criteria? What about other apps?

[Katkats7777]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

You can meet someone you encountered on a dating app in a bar, no? Have you tried fine tuning your search criteria? What about other apps?

nope i dont want to use dating apps. i'm going to do real life

[CaliforniaGirl]

On 7/4/2021 at 4:07 PM, Katkats7777 said:

Um no, I'm using spongebob squarepants as my profile pic just on MEETUP,  because I DO NOT like getting private messages on there from creepy guys that are using it like a dating app private messaging random girls. I'm not on meetup for guys to lure me into thinking they are looking to meet new people when in reality they are looking for DATES its pretty obvious from their pickup line, "hey cutie." For meetup I prefer to go to an event and would want to possibly meet another single if there is one in person, you know, like start a conversation in real life and work for it from there on. Tinder is a whole different story, tinder I'm there for guys to message me because its a dating app. 

Ha ha, I have some SpongeBob appreciators at my house too. 😂

I get creepy approaches on Meetup even as an old hag so I hear you.

[Weezy1973]

3 hours ago, Katkats7777 said:

I decided NOT to do tinder, after having been on there for a few days and getting bombarded with messages, why should I make it easier for guys to not put much work into it and hide behind an app and not do the "approach" like in real life?

With Tinder the only guys that message you are the ones you’re already interested in right? So what’s the problem? You swiped right on them.

[Katkats7777]

29 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

With Tinder the only guys that message you are the ones you’re already interested in right? So what’s the problem? You swiped right on them.

[ ]  I don’t want to do tinder anymore

Edited July 6, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
civility

[Weezy1973]

25 minutes ago, Katkats7777 said:

[ ]  I don’t want to do tinder anymore

Fair enough. But the ones that are “bombarding” you with messages are the ones you’ve already expressed interest in by swiping right. I understand that Tinder = the least possible effort one can put in though. 

[Katkats7777]

On 7/5/2021 at 8:18 PM, Weezy1973 said:

Fair enough. But the ones that are “bombarding” you with messages are the ones you’ve already expressed interest in by swiping right. I understand that Tinder = the least possible effort one can put in though. 

Yeah, its the least possible effort. I mean the messages that got were guys that told me that they wanted to take me out, then suggested to go back to “my place.” Geez. What for easy sex? If i wanted that, ill just head out to a bar and make a guy work for it depending on his witty pickup line

[luiscasabuena]

Just try. 

[QuietRiot]

On 7/4/2021 at 7:07 PM, Katkats7777 said:

Um no, I'm using spongebob squarepants as my profile pic just on MEETUP,  because I DO NOT like getting private messages on there from creepy guys that are using it like a dating app private messaging random girls. I'm not on meetup for guys to lure me into thinking they are looking to meet new people when in reality they are looking for DATES its pretty obvious from their pickup line, "hey cutie." For meetup I prefer to go to an event and would want to possibly meet another single if there is one in person, you know, like start a conversation in real life and work for it from there on. Tinder is a whole different story, tinder I'm there for guys to message me because its a dating app. 

Hm, funny, I met a woman for coffee yesterday via this very method. LOL. In fact, even though I initiated the conversation, SHE asked ME to coffee. 😉  I never did ask her if she was on a dating site though, though I didn't think she was as she had just moved here.

 

 

[Reeses_Piece]

I don’t know why you wouldn’t go on tinder. Yes the majority of its users are there for hookups, but there’s more than that. I have a friend who met her husband on there. I met my boyfriend on there as well. For us, we didn’t expect it to turn into anything serious because he had plans on moving overseas. But covid stopped that, and we connected significantly better than either of us expected.

So I would say that there’s nothing wrong with tinder, as long as you manage their expectations from the beginning. 

[ZA Dater]

On 7/18/2021 at 2:46 AM, Reeses_Piece said:

 

So I would say that there’s nothing wrong with tinder, as long as you manage their expectations from the beginning. 

The best way to work with Tinder is to expect nothing and not take it too seriously, it does work for some people but not for others, if you do decide to do it, change your bio and pictures often, this can help you get better matches.

[Katkats7777]

On 7/17/2021 at 7:46 PM, Reeses_Piece said:

I don’t know why you wouldn’t go on tinder. Yes the majority of its users are there for hookups, but there’s more than that. I have a friend who met her husband on there. I met my boyfriend on there as well. For us, we didn’t expect it to turn into anything serious because he had plans on moving overseas. But covid stopped that, and we connected significantly better than either of us expected.

So I would say that there’s nothing wrong with tinder, as long as you manage their expectations from the beginning. 

Yeah, I'm reconsidering tinder again. I'm going to use its solely for hookups. And I want to hook up with a younger guy, where else could I find a college frat boy? I mean, I'm sure I can find them at a bar, but that might be tough, right time, right place. Plus, there are plenty of 20 year old guys that have this thing to hook up with older women.