Should I inititate the 2nd date?

[Dis]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Coming back from my 2nd date with other prospect. That did not end well. He kissed me that was alright but he tried to reach my butt under my dress and l stopped him. He stopped and did not insist but he did not get at ALL why l didn't want to!! He kept saying he just wanted to feel my panties .......and saw nothing wrong.

He apoligized 100 times, l left.

He just text me to ask if l'm ok.

Whattt?!

 

That's terrible G! Ew! What a perv. Block him. 

 

Guess it's another story to had to your OLD adventures 

[norealusername]

Sorry to hear that. You're really meeting some winners. 

The first guy is definitely a bit dramatic for a 1st date but I wouldn't cross him off yet, see what happens.

[Ami1uwant]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

Coming back from my 2nd date with other prospect. That did not end well. He kissed me that was alright but he tried to reach my butt under my dress and l stopped him. He stopped and did not insist but he did not get at ALL why l didn't want to!! He kept saying he just wanted to feel my panties .......and saw nothing wrong.

He apoligized 100 times, l left.

He just text me to ask if l'm ok.

Winner winner chicken dinner....

 

he reached up your dress....idiot...

[Alvi]

2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Coming back from my 2nd date with other prospect. That did not end well. He kissed me that was alright but he tried to reach my butt under my dress and l stopped him. He stopped and did not insist but he did not get at ALL why l didn't want to!! He kept saying he just wanted to feel my panties .......and saw nothing wrong.

He apoligized 100 times, l left.

He just text me to ask if l'm ok.

How incredibly disrespectful! Seriously, what are the guys like him are thinking?  Men want sex, I get it, but show some class! I wonder how they were raised. We are talking about a guy 50+, right. He definitely should know better.

[S2B]

Wait it out and see if guy #1 asks for a date for this weekend.

if he doesn’t ask by Thursday something is up.

don’t chase. Be chill and see what kind of effort/action he makes to see you again.

text is fine but everyday? Blah…I’m hoping he isn’t a time waster.

give it until Thursday evening. He should plan a date and ask you out ahead of time.
If he waits until saturday and asks for the same day tell him you’re busy.

 

[Gaeta]

I know some of you said to not initiate but l had not initiate sincecwe met Thursday so today l decided to do so.

He replied within a few minutes he was so happy to hear from me, asked how l was etc. 

It's gonna be a slow process l think. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I know some of you said to not initiate but l had not initiate sincecwe met Thursday so today l decided to do so.

He replied within a few minutes he was so happy to hear from me, asked how l was etc. 

It's gonna be a slow process l think. 

Gaeta...he really isn't giving you anything.

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Gaeta...he really isn't giving you anything.

Anything as in?

[poppyfields]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Anything as in?

Asking for a second date? 

I would think since you initiated and reached out, that would have been the perfect "window" of opportunity he needed to ask for that second date.

I am not having good feelings about this one Gaeta, but I wish you the best and hope it works out in your favor.

EDIT:  Of course he was happy to hear from you, it was a huge validation and ego boost for him, what man wouldn't be happy about that?

Anyway, don't mean to be a negative nellie, just not having the best of feeling about this, but I hope I am wrong, and again good luck.

Edited June 28, 2021 by poppyfields

[CaliforniaGirl]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Anything as in?

Anything to go on. Anything that indicates he wants to be more than a pen pal.

[Gaeta]

But most of you said it's too early in the week - too early since date #1, l need to give this a bit of time.

[poppyfields]

24 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

But most of you said it's too early in the week - too early since date #1, l need to give this a bit of time.

Gaeta, by your own admission you are 50+, had over 200+ dates, I think you know when a man is interested and when he's not, I know you do!

You are very smart and very experienced, I am not sure why you even need our assistance with this.

It's been four days since your first date, an interested man would have reached out FIRST and at least scheduled that second date, especially considering you just reached out to him!  Again, perfect window of opportunity. 

And especially considering that he told you he was on "Cloud 9" after your meet and has been "dreaming about you."

Come on!  Seriously?  You have said this yourself, words mean jack * if not followed up with action.

I rarely say this on forums like this, but the guy is full of CRAP.

 

 

Edited June 28, 2021 by poppyfields

[glows]

When you think of him are you turned off or interested? Simplistic test but it works. 

If you're turned off, move on. Slow could just mean waning interest on your part. There are other dates(other guys)?

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

It's been four days since your first date, an interested man would have reached our FIRST

Not sure l get this. He initiated contact with me every day since our date.

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, glows said:

When you think of him are you turned off or interested? Simplistic test but it works. 

I like him * a lot *

[poppyfields]

Just now, Gaeta said:

Not sure l get this. He initiated contact with me every day since our date.

Oh I see, apologies, my bad. Never mind my post then!

I still don't have good feelings but that's probably because I hate any sort of love bombing, and over the top romantic expressions, especially after one meet.

They sound disingenuous to me, like he's going through the motions of being "romantic" because he knows it's what most women like to hear.

To me, if he were truly on Cloud 9 and dreaming of you, he'd be asking for that second date, sooner rather than later.  Even if it's two weeks out!

JMO, I hope I am wrong!

 

 

 

[glows]

5 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I like him * a lot *

I'd text him then. I don't know what there is to lose. This is so early. If he doesn't ask you out or call you after you've checked in with him presently at least once then move on. 

I don't know about you but there are very few who do pique my interest or whom I like so I take the opportunity to connect if it warrants it.

Life is short. What on earth are you waiting for? 

[poppyfields]

3 minutes ago, glows said:

I'd text him then. I don't know what there is to lose. This is so early. If he doesn't ask you out or call you after you've checked in with him presently at least once then move on. 

I don't know about you but there are very few who do pique my interest or whom I like so I take the opportunity to connect if it warrants it.

Life is short. What on earth are you waiting for? 

glows, Gaeta did reach out, today.  See her previous post.

Perfect opportunity for him to schedule a second date, which he did not.

 

Edited June 28, 2021 by poppyfields

[Wiseman2]

54 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He replied within a few minutes he was so happy to hear from me, asked how l was etc. 

Invite him for something. It's not pushy or chasing. It polite, modern and reciprocating.

Not volleying dates comes off as old fashioned which comes off as...old. Be youthful and modern.

It's better than tidbit texting. That in fact is of a turn off.

Just invite him for something that interests you.

[glows]

I'd give it a week. Date/chat with others in the meantime. What's the hurry? 

It'll unfold eventually. Just bide your time and get to know other guys. You have time on your side. Look at it the other way.

[glows]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Invite him for something. It's not pushy or chasing. It polite, modern and reciprocating.

Not volleying dates comes off as old fashioned which comes off as...old. Be youthful and modern.

It's better than tidbit texting. That in fact is of a turn off.

Just invite him for something that interests you.

Bold. I like it.

[SumGuy]

On 6/27/2021 at 3:36 PM, CaliforniaGirl said:

...It sounds like love-bombing. No guy really says he's dreaming of a date. 😁 (cue 20 LS people jumping on to say "I do!" 😁 )

Well someone has to help get that number up to 20    I certainly do (like literally dream of them, I take that as she made a good impression) but if so will not be hesitating to ask for a second date, especially if she sent back any positive response to such a comment.  My next message would be let's do it again this Friday.   I do not believe for a second exuberance and being honest about having an amazing time is always love bombing, sounds kind of jaded to me. 

Alas though talk is cheap, actions are speak much louder than free words.

Quote

Should you contact him...should you ask for the date...you can. But if he's lying around sighing and dreaming of being with you why didn't he ask? It sure isn't because he's shy. I mean I know that's what's bugging you as it is.

That is what I am thinking.  Why would he not ask?  Get the idea OP has given all sorts of signals that if he asks the answer will be yes.  Even if he has scheduling issues just be up front and say that don't leave her hanging wondering if you want to see her again.  Then again he may not want to come across as needy or love bombing or some such.

[Gaeta]

This man had contacted me before but because his message was long, it was a quote about life from a book, l thought 'not my type" and did not reply.

Then he wrote to me again about a month later with another long message, kind of a poem. I thought ok, lets see who's behind this and we clicked right away. He's a bit over the top with words but also very funny.

When we were having dinner he said he's got his own way to filter women online and l replied ' l know it's that very long poetic message l bet you don't get a lot of replies 'laugh'. He started laughing and said yes it's exactly that and indeed he doesn't get a lot of replies but those who reply will be  able to carry an interesting conversation.

He's a bit of a jack of all trades, he has several small businesses and is out and about probably 12 hours a day.  

[SumGuy]

24 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I like him * a lot *

Then why not ask him out?   All the things we say about why hasn't he asked her could just as well be reversed. 

[SumGuy]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

...When we were having dinner he said he's got his own way to filter women online and l replied ' l know it's that very long poetic message l bet you don't get a lot of replies 'laugh'. He started laughing and said yes it's exactly that and indeed he doesn't get a lot of replies but those who reply will be  able to carry an interesting conversation.

He's a bit of a jack of all trades, he has several small businesses and is out and about probably 12 hours a day.  

Perhaps he is looking for someone with initiative, can do.   Sounds like he has plenty of sh*t to do. 

I find it amusing that if a guy is eloquent and exuberant and romantic means he is some false prince charming or love bomber.  It is not a choice between Disney fantasy and Player, that's a false dichotomy but people do seem to love mapping things that way.