Should I inititate the 2nd date?

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, FMW said:

If you're still interested go ahead and ask him out. 

No, my interest has died.  I can't keep an interest up very long if it's not mutual.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

No, my interest has died.  I can't keep an interest up very long if it's not mutual.

Very understandable. Sending all that canned schmaltz to everyone on his dating mailing list is super creepy.

[poppyfields]

Gaeta, I'm curious if you've received anything since your last?

Or have you blocked him, ghosted? 

[Gaeta]

No I have not heard from him since yesterday morning. I deleted him, did not block him. If he writes back I'll have to ask who is this?. 🙂

Why would a man contact a woman on a Thursday without inviting her out? Just to waste her time.

 

[poppyfields]

8 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

No I have not heard from him since yesterday morning. I deleted him, did not block him. If he writes back I'll have to ask who is this?. 🙂

Why would a man contact a woman on a Thursday without inviting her out? Just to waste her time.

I'm confused now, didn't you already go out with him?

Anyway, to answer your question, ego boost, validation. 

Or for a laugh, guys on the men's site I frequent admitted they enjoy trolling women on line....kinda sick but whatevs.

That's why I hate on line.  I no longer trust it.

Trolling has become quite popular, I'm aware of a few as we speak actually...

Edited July 1, 2021 by poppyfields

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I'm confused now, didn't you already go out with him?

Yes we had a date last Thursday

I don't know his number by heart, if he text I'll have to ask him who he is. He'll realize I was no longer waiting on him. He never called to chat so I doubt it will be his options. 

I understand the ego boost phenomenon but why treat me to dinner when it was not planned & spend 4 hours with me? That's an expensive and time consuming ego boost. 

Edited July 1, 2021 by Gaeta

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Yes we had a date last Thursday

I don't know his number by heart, if he text I'll have to ask him who he is. He'll indicate I was not longer waiting on him. He never called to chat so I doubt it will be his options. 

I understand the ego boost phenomenon but why treat me to dinner when it was not planned & spend 4 hours with me? That's an expensive and time consuming ego boost. 

To pull you, and then troll you.  He had to do something to initially pull, he couldn't just bombard you with nonsensical "poetry" (trolling) without making that initial effort...

I'm sorry to say this, but imo it was all a game. 

"I'm on Cloud 9, dreaming of you."

Even his last, "I can't wait to see you"?

I mean seriously?  Did he think you just fell off the turnip truck? Lol

Edited July 1, 2021 by poppyfields

[Cookiesandough]

29 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Yes we had a date last Thursday

I don't know his number by heart, if he text I'll have to ask him who he is. He'll realize I was no longer waiting on him. He never called to chat so I doubt it will be his options. 

I understand the ego boost phenomenon but why treat me to dinner when it was not planned & spend 4 hours with me? That's an expensive and time consuming ego boost. 

Probably attempt to keep you hooked in the lowest effort way possible. Think about it —you’re multi dating, or maybe just deciding to/when to see them again, maybe you even have a SO you’ve got to spend time with…. So  not setting up plans  with that particular person at the moment, what do you do? Maybe send them all the same recycled vids and  love poems . They’re like aw wow they must like me.. they sent me a love poem… so you can pick back up later theyre still all wooed(possibly) … I knew it wouldn’t work on you but you wouldn’t believe how many people are that gullible 

Edited July 1, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

If he writes back I'll have to ask who is this?. 🙂

Well since his MO is poems, songs, why not send this:

 

[CaliforniaGirl]

3 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Probably attempt to keep you hooked in the lowest effort way possible. Think about it —you’re multi dating, or maybe just deciding to/when to see them again, maybe you even have a SO you’ve got to spend time with…. So  not setting up plans  with that particular person at the moment, what do you do? Maybe send them all the same recycled vids and  love poems . They’re like aw wow they must like me.. they sent me a love poem… so you can pick back up later theyre still all wooed(possibly) … I knew it wouldn’t work on you but you wouldn’t believe how many people are that gullible 

This. IMO he's just keeping you circling in his loop for later, whenever, or never.

[CaliforniaGirl]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Well since his MO is poems, songs, why not send this:

 

 

Cute!  But IMO it shows WAY too much forethought. "Sorry, can't remember who this is" or just no answer would be the route I'd be taking if and when he showed up again to send a copied and pasted poem.

[Wiseman2]

42 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

if and when he showed up again to send a copied and pasted poem.

Ok sending a poem is a good idea:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Who the hell are you?

[glows]

Just delete the message if he says anything. If he's an entertainer he needs an audience so it's simple.. don't give him one. Sorry it came to this, Gaeta. Onwards.

[balin]

Maybe he is just clumsy or not good at talking emotionally as suggested and copy/pasting shyt in the absence of being able to wing it. But he might be a serial love bomber too lol.

I struggle at this. After one meet HOW to kind of say something emotional to reinforce whatever connection might have been there and get further toward that direction. When you absolutely do not know them yet but do have a good vibe. And not superficial weather blah blah etc how was your day and also not sounding too eager and blowing it.

If he had a clear green light (not a delay or orange light) he should have asked by now.

Edited July 1, 2021 by balin

[Happy Lemming]

53 minutes ago, balin said:

I struggle at this. After one meet HOW to kind of say something emotional to reinforce whatever connection might have been there and get further toward that direction.

 

Just ask them out for a second date. 

Start by calling the woman up (not texting) "Hi, Sally... I had a really nice time the other night and would like to see you again.  As luck would have it, my favorite comedian is performing at the Laff Factory downtown this weekend.  I also know of this great Tex-Mex place across the street where we can grab some dinner before the show.  Would you like to go??"

That is how you date, you don't send a bunch of recycled poetry and songs. 

If she contacts you before you've had a chance to formulate a plan for the second date, let her know that you are doing some research/planning, but haven't nailed down anything concrete yet.  Is there something specific she knows about that she is very interested in doing this weekend??  If so, craft the date around her suggestion.

 

[Cookiesandough]

8 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Just ask them out for a second date. 

Start by calling the woman up (not texting) "Hi, Sally... I had a really nice time the other night and would like to see you again.  As luck would have it, my favorite comedian is performing at the Laff Factory downtown this weekend.  I also know of this great Tex-Mex place across the street where we can grab some dinner before the show.  Would you like to go??"

That is how you date, you don't send a bunch of recycled poetry and songs. 

If she contacts you before you've had a chance to formulate a plan for the second date, let her know that you are doing some research/planning, but haven't nailed down anything concrete yet.  Is there something specific she knows about that she is very interested in doing this weekend??  If so, craft the date around her suggestion.

 

This… don’t have to wax poetic you just ask them on a second date and they say yes or no ,  it’s pretty cut and dry 

[Dis]

14 hours ago, Gaeta said:

No, my interest has died.  I can't keep an interest up very long if it's not mutual.

Same here G

 

I was in the same boat as you and was hoping/bumming out that I hadn't heard from him. Then it got to the point where so many days had passed and I got turned off instead of hoping he'd text. 

 

No interest = no interest from me either 

[Alpacalia]

Well it's a good thing he didn't call.

Probably too busy on his treadmill.

[Alvi]

58 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Just ask them out for a second date. 

Start by calling the woman up (not texting) "Hi, Sally... I had a really nice time the other night and would like to see you again.  As luck would have it, my favorite comedian is performing at the Laff Factory downtown this weekend.  I also know of this great Tex-Mex place across the street where we can grab some dinner before the show.  Would you like to go??"

That is how you date, you don't send a bunch of recycled poetry and songs. 

If she contacts you before you've had a chance to formulate a plan for the second date, let her know that you are doing some research/planning, but haven't nailed down anything concrete yet.  Is there something specific she knows about that she is very interested in doing this weekend??  If so, craft the date around her suggestion.

This is exactly how this should be done. You nailed it down perfectly.

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

Just ask them out for a second date. 

Start by calling the woman up (not texting) "Hi, Sally... I had a really nice time the other night and would like to see you again.  As luck would have it, my favorite comedian is performing at the Laff Factory downtown this weekend.  I also know of this great Tex-Mex place across the street where we can grab some dinner before the show.  Would you like to go??"

That is how you date, you don't send a bunch of recycled poetry and songs. 

If she contacts you before you've had a chance to formulate a plan for the second date, let her know that you are doing some research/planning, but haven't nailed down anything concrete yet.  Is there something specific she knows about that she is very interested in doing this weekend??  If so, craft the date around her suggestion.

 

 

 

Okay!!!

See? Even I had to say yes to that!

That is how you get 'er done.

[Happy Lemming]

5 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Okay!!!

See? Even I had to say yes to that!

That is how you get 'er done.

Yes... there is some logic behind this suggestion.

On this second date, you'll have time to talk at dinner.  When you go to the comedy club, you'll be laughing (hopefully) and who can have a bad time when you are constantly laughing.  And if it seems the woman wants the date to continue, stop off for ice cream or frozen yogurt.

So after the second date, the woman will remember a great meal, some light conversation, that she laughed and had a nice time.  She will say "yes" to a third date because she had a good time on the second date.

Hopefully, the guy picked up on some hints at dinner (of things she likes) and can craft the third date around those parameters.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Alpaca said:

Well it's a good thing he didn't call.

Probably too busy on his treadmill.

Yes he definitely belongs in the timewaster pile.

[Gaeta]

Friday night, 19h45 he sends me a message that he just got in and is exhausted and ask about me.

Meh.

I'm talking to a sexy bodyguard now. How you say in English? You snooze you lose!

[Happy Lemming]

3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Friday night, 19h45 he sends me a message that he just got in and is exhausted and ask about me.

And he still didn't offer up a 2nd date or plans for a 2nd date or even ask for input about a 2nd date.

This is not how you date a woman.

[Marka]

He doesnt need a woman. He needs a muse🙂