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Should I inititate the 2nd date?


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Happy Lemming
20 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Xxxxx

Why did you delete your post??  I was reading the beginning of it on the header page, then clicked to read the rest and it was gone.

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CaliforniaGirl
4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Oh oh! Teacher just asked if he could see me again before I leave for my trip. I'm leaving Sunday around 6 am. That means I'd have to see him Saturday. It's kind of quick right? 

 

I don't think it's too quick if you guys really like each other.

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Happy Lemming
2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Oh oh! Teacher just asked if he could see me again before I leave for my trip. I'm leaving Sunday around 6 am. That means I'd have to see him Saturday. It's kind of quick right? 

 

He wants to set up a second date, that is a good thing.

Tell him to plan something and let you know, give him your schedule and if Saturday works for him... go for it.

Oh and don't worry about the age difference... its less than ten years difference.  All good.

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16 minutes ago, Olivia24 said:

I saw some things about Poet  man. Have you  or will you see  him again? 

I blocked him because he was very intense and he asked me if I loved him after our 2nd date. 

Now, I liked him A LOT, I got scared, I am afraid to fall for the wrong man and be played so I blocked him. 

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14 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

He wants to set up a second date, that is a good thing.

Tell him to plan something and let you know, give him your schedule and if Saturday works for him... go for it.

Oh and don't worry about the age difference... its less than ten years difference.  All good.

Thanks! I told him I might have time Saturday and I will give him my free time tomorrow. It's 23h30 here and I got to go to bed I'm working in the morning AND I got a date tomorrow night with someone different. I should not book so many first date in a week. It confuses me!

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8 minutes ago, Olivia24 said:

WOW!! You are a dating  machine!!

I burn a lot of oil ! I just hope l won't have to meet 200 men to find a boyfriend like last time l was single.

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introverted1
8 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Oh oh! Teacher just asked if he could see me again before I leave for my trip. I'm leaving Sunday around 6 am. That means I'd have to see him Saturday. It's kind of quick right? 

 

He's smart - making sure he sees you before you go away so you won't forget him or lose interest.  If you like him, go for it.

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CaliforniaGirl
6 hours ago, introverted1 said:

He's smart - making sure he sees you before you go away so you won't forget him or lose interest.  If you like him, go for it.

This was my experience with dating - when a guy wanted me to keep him at the forefront of his mind, dude, he made it happen! :D Two or three days between dates would seem fast if you weren't going away, Gaeta. (Not a red flag but that's fairly quick!) BUT...the circumstances are that you're going away, and he wants to see you again before that. This seems very normal to me! OMG! Gaeta, I can't believe that you may have met someone who is sane! I am tuning in daily to see the progress of this thread, LOL.

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BACK from date number 15

OMG, I want himmmmm!! The man is so hot it burns your eyes 😍  he's talkative, interesting, kind, we clicked instantly! We had to leave because of darkness, not because we wanted the date to end. We kissed good bye and he said he had a great time etc etc etc... and asked if he could see me tomorrow before I leave for my vacations and I said yessssssss!!

I won't sleep !!!

 

 

 

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poppyfields
3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

BACK from date number 15

OMG, I want himmmmm!! The man is so hot it burns your eyes 😍  he's talkative, interesting, kind, we clicked instantly! We had to leave because of darkness, not because we wanted the date to end. We kissed good bye and he said he had a great time etc etc etc... and asked if he could see me tomorrow before I leave for my vacations and I said yessssssss!!

I won't sleep !!!

No one ever listens to me but THIS my dear friend is how it's done!!  OMG, yes!!  ❤️

 

Edited by poppyfields
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1 minute ago, Olivia24 said:

15 seems to be  your  lucky number!! Wear  sunglasses tomorrow!!

He'll probably end up disappointing me but I didn't think I could feel this excited about a man anymore, at least it's confirming I still got it in me.

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poppyfields
4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

He'll probably end up disappointing me....

Why do you say that?   Grrrr.  lol

Think positive!

Go for it, enjoy the moment!!  

 

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1 minute ago, poppyfields said:

Why do you say that?   Grrrr.  lol

Think positive!

Go for it, enjoy!!  

I say that because I have been disappointed a lot 😞 

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poppyfields
2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I say that because I have been disappointed a lot 😞 

Um, sooooooooo.......

He's NOT them.  💛

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1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

I say that because I have been disappointed a lot 😞 

I’ll be the party pooper. Way too invested after just one date. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, but honestly you know nothing about him. If you can be disappointed AFTER ONE DATE, you’re getting too invested too early…

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poppyfields
14 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

I’ll be the party pooper. Way too invested after just one date. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, but honestly you know nothing about him. If you can be disappointed AFTER ONE DATE, you’re getting too invested too early…

I don't see it as invested so much as excited, mentally and dare I say sexually, after meeting someone she totally clicks with!

I'm not even seeing any expectations.

It's been awhile for Gaeta, so me thinks she needs to embrace the emotion, whether it lasts one day, one week, one month or forever, these types of moments don't come along ever day. 😂

JMO.

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Cookiesandough
2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

BACK from date number 15

OMG, I want himmmmm!! The man is so hot it burns your eyes 😍  he's talkative, interesting, kind, we clicked instantly! We had to leave because of darkness, not because we wanted the date to end. We kissed good bye and he said he had a great time etc etc etc... and asked if he could see me tomorrow before I leave for my vacations and I said yessssssss!!

I won't sleep !!!

 

 

 

Nice. This kinda stuff gives me life 😍

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3 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

I’ll be the party pooper. Way too invested after just one date. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, but honestly you know nothing about him. If you can be disappointed AFTER ONE DATE, you’re getting too invested too early…

Actually my comment indicates i'm not invested, and l don't expect he'll stick around long enough for me to invest myself so l have 0 expectation. 

See l can rain on my own parade 😉

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8 hours ago, poppyfields said:

I don't see it as invested so much as excited, mentally and dare I say sexually, after meeting someone she totally clicks with!

I'm not even seeing any expectations.

If one can be disappointed after one date, there’s an investment emotionally. Otherwise if he ghosts her for example, she wouldn’t care. She should keep dating others as week. Keep that profile fresh, keep responding to messages etc. If she’s tempted to just focus on this one guy because of her excitement, she’s too invested.

 

And as good as it feels to click with someone on a first date, ultimately it doesn’t mean much. This forum is chock full of bad relationship experiences that started as “amazing attraction” at first. Intense attraction often can lead to ignoring flags because we just want those intense good feelings to continue…

 

@Gaeta Not saying this will happen here. Just you know, keep it in perspective. Line up another date with the teacher. See what #16 has to offer. And of course go out on a second date with #15 too. Ultimately only time will tell…

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35 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

 

@Gaeta Not saying this will happen here. Just you know, keep it in perspective. Line up another date with the teacher. See what #16 has to offer. And of course go out on a second date with #15 too. Ultimately only time will tell…

Thank you for your concern Weezy, remember it's me. I don't invest myself in one date or 2 or even 3. I'm seeing teacher still, my profile is up and still attracting attention. I've been at this too long to think l met 'the one' after 1 date. 

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Eternal Sunshine

I guess the dates and moments I still remember are those where I was highly attracted to the guy and genuinely excited to see him. This for me is very rare. Even if these relationships didn't last and I ended up hurt, the moments, dates, days, weeks of this are what made me happy. Just being happy in any particular moment, without being attached to the outcome is what life is all about.

In contrast, I have dated men who were good choices on paper but I was never that excited about. I had to rationalize myself into dating them. Interestingly, those men didn't end up treating me any better and there were things then didn't make them as nice and decent people as I first thought. The only difference really was that I never had moments of excitement and happiness with them.

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poppyfields

@Weezy1973 I get what you're saying but how do you control emotions and raw desite like that?

Like say to yourself, "oh it's one date, I am going to force myself to not be so attracted to him or desire him because I might get hurt"? 

I don't think it can be done, personally speaking, and why would you want to?

All we can do is control how invested to the outcome we become, and simply enjoy and embrace the moment, which G is doing from what I can see.

If we get hurt, so be, that's life.  We can get hurt after waiting 20 dates before deciding (and admitting to ourselves) how attracted we are too.

Gaeta, keep us posted! 

 

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1 hour ago, Weezy1973 said:

If one can be disappointed after one date, there’s an investment emotionally. Otherwise if he ghosts her for example, she wouldn’t care. She should keep dating others as week. Keep that profile fresh, keep responding to messages etc. If she’s tempted to just focus on this one guy because of her excitement, she’s too invested.

 

And as good as it feels to click with someone on a first date, ultimately it doesn’t mean much. This forum is chock full of bad relationship experiences that started as “amazing attraction” at first. Intense attraction often can lead to ignoring flags because we just want those intense good feelings to continue…

 

@Gaeta Not saying this will happen here. Just you know, keep it in perspective. Line up another date with the teacher. See what #16 has to offer. And of course go out on a second date with #15 too. Ultimately only time will tell…

Why do you act like disappointment in this situation is abnormal? 
It’s human nature to get excited after a good date and be hopeful you’ll see them again in the same way, if he turns out to be a dud or he’s still cool but doesn’t want to see you again, it’s normal to feel disappointed. 
 

She didn’t say she was deleting her profile, just that this guy piqued her interest. 

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Eternal Sunshine
1 hour ago, Olivia24 said:

Are you still dating? Yes, happiness  is so very  precious.

No, I decided to take a short break...that was 3 years ago and I still feel no desire to date.

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