Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 BACK from date number 15 OMG, I want himmmmm!! The man is so hot it burns your eyes 😍 he's talkative, interesting, kind, we clicked instantly! We had to leave because of darkness, not because we wanted the date to end. We kissed good bye and he said he had a great time etc etc etc... and asked if he could see me tomorrow before I leave for my vacations and I said yessssssss!! I won't sleep !!! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: BACK from date number 15 OMG, I want himmmmm!! The man is so hot it burns your eyes 😍 he's talkative, interesting, kind, we clicked instantly! We had to leave because of darkness, not because we wanted the date to end. We kissed good bye and he said he had a great time etc etc etc... and asked if he could see me tomorrow before I leave for my vacations and I said yessssssss!! I won't sleep !!! No one ever listens to me but THIS my dear friend is how it's done!! OMG, yes!! ❤️ Edited July 17, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 minute ago, Olivia24 said: 15 seems to be your lucky number!! Wear sunglasses tomorrow!! He'll probably end up disappointing me but I didn't think I could feel this excited about a man anymore, at least it's confirming I still got it in me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He'll probably end up disappointing me.... Why do you say that? Grrrr. lol Think positive! Go for it, enjoy the moment!! Edited July 17, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Why do you say that? Grrrr. lol Think positive! Go for it, enjoy!! I say that because I have been disappointed a lot 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I say that because I have been disappointed a lot 😞 Um, sooooooooo....... He's NOT them. 💛 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 Negative thoughts = negative energy = negative experiences. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: I say that because I have been disappointed a lot 😞 I’ll be the party pooper. Way too invested after just one date. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, but honestly you know nothing about him. If you can be disappointed AFTER ONE DATE, you’re getting too invested too early… Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 14 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: I’ll be the party pooper. Way too invested after just one date. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, but honestly you know nothing about him. If you can be disappointed AFTER ONE DATE, you’re getting too invested too early… I don't see it as invested so much as excited, mentally and dare I say sexually, after meeting someone she totally clicks with! I'm not even seeing any expectations. It's been awhile for Gaeta, so me thinks she needs to embrace the emotion, whether it lasts one day, one week, one month or forever, these types of moments don't come along ever day. 😂 JMO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: BACK from date number 15 OMG, I want himmmmm!! The man is so hot it burns your eyes 😍 he's talkative, interesting, kind, we clicked instantly! We had to leave because of darkness, not because we wanted the date to end. We kissed good bye and he said he had a great time etc etc etc... and asked if he could see me tomorrow before I leave for my vacations and I said yessssssss!! I won't sleep !!! Nice. This kinda stuff gives me life 😍 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 3 hours ago, Weezy1973 said: I’ll be the party pooper. Way too invested after just one date. Nothing wrong with being hopeful, but honestly you know nothing about him. If you can be disappointed AFTER ONE DATE, you’re getting too invested too early… Actually my comment indicates i'm not invested, and l don't expect he'll stick around long enough for me to invest myself so l have 0 expectation. See l can rain on my own parade 😉 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 8 hours ago, poppyfields said: I don't see it as invested so much as excited, mentally and dare I say sexually, after meeting someone she totally clicks with! I'm not even seeing any expectations. If one can be disappointed after one date, there’s an investment emotionally. Otherwise if he ghosts her for example, she wouldn’t care. She should keep dating others as week. Keep that profile fresh, keep responding to messages etc. If she’s tempted to just focus on this one guy because of her excitement, she’s too invested. And as good as it feels to click with someone on a first date, ultimately it doesn’t mean much. This forum is chock full of bad relationship experiences that started as “amazing attraction” at first. Intense attraction often can lead to ignoring flags because we just want those intense good feelings to continue… @Gaeta Not saying this will happen here. Just you know, keep it in perspective. Line up another date with the teacher. See what #16 has to offer. And of course go out on a second date with #15 too. Ultimately only time will tell… Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 35 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: @Gaeta Not saying this will happen here. Just you know, keep it in perspective. Line up another date with the teacher. See what #16 has to offer. And of course go out on a second date with #15 too. Ultimately only time will tell… Thank you for your concern Weezy, remember it's me. I don't invest myself in one date or 2 or even 3. I'm seeing teacher still, my profile is up and still attracting attention. I've been at this too long to think l met 'the one' after 1 date. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 I guess the dates and moments I still remember are those where I was highly attracted to the guy and genuinely excited to see him. This for me is very rare. Even if these relationships didn't last and I ended up hurt, the moments, dates, days, weeks of this are what made me happy. Just being happy in any particular moment, without being attached to the outcome is what life is all about. In contrast, I have dated men who were good choices on paper but I was never that excited about. I had to rationalize myself into dating them. Interestingly, those men didn't end up treating me any better and there were things then didn't make them as nice and decent people as I first thought. The only difference really was that I never had moments of excitement and happiness with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) @Weezy1973 I get what you're saying but how do you control emotions and raw desite like that? Like say to yourself, "oh it's one date, I am going to force myself to not be so attracted to him or desire him because I might get hurt"? I don't think it can be done, personally speaking, and why would you want to? All we can do is control how invested to the outcome we become, and simply enjoy and embrace the moment, which G is doing from what I can see. If we get hurt, so be, that's life. We can get hurt after waiting 20 dates before deciding (and admitting to ourselves) how attracted we are too. Gaeta, keep us posted! Edited July 17, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, Weezy1973 said: If one can be disappointed after one date, there’s an investment emotionally. Otherwise if he ghosts her for example, she wouldn’t care. She should keep dating others as week. Keep that profile fresh, keep responding to messages etc. If she’s tempted to just focus on this one guy because of her excitement, she’s too invested. And as good as it feels to click with someone on a first date, ultimately it doesn’t mean much. This forum is chock full of bad relationship experiences that started as “amazing attraction” at first. Intense attraction often can lead to ignoring flags because we just want those intense good feelings to continue… @Gaeta Not saying this will happen here. Just you know, keep it in perspective. Line up another date with the teacher. See what #16 has to offer. And of course go out on a second date with #15 too. Ultimately only time will tell… Why do you act like disappointment in this situation is abnormal? It’s human nature to get excited after a good date and be hopeful you’ll see them again in the same way, if he turns out to be a dud or he’s still cool but doesn’t want to see you again, it’s normal to feel disappointed. She didn’t say she was deleting her profile, just that this guy piqued her interest. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, Olivia24 said: Are you still dating? Yes, happiness is so very precious. No, I decided to take a short break...that was 3 years ago and I still feel no desire to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 3 hours ago, jspice said: Why do you act like disappointment in this situation is abnormal? I’m not saying it’s abnormal. I think it is normal, but also realistically the vast majority of dates from OLD go nowhere. So getting overly invested and disappointed can and does lead to emotional exhaustion. It’s why so many people give up on OLD. You need to temper your emotional investment early, and @Gaeta has explained she is doing this. Still dating others is a great way to do it. You don’t want to be “all in” after one date because there was chemistry. As I’ve said, first date chemistry doesn’t mean much long term. And Gaeta is looking for a “rest of her life” partner. Not a fling based on lust. To be clear if this was a date with someone she met in real life and the anticipation/ attraction / connection had been building up over time and by the time they went on their first date tue chemistry was already explosive, that’s different. OLD by its nature is flakey. I just don’t want her to burn out. It’s a numbers game. You need the emotional energy to keep going. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, poppyfields said: @Weezy1973 I get what you're saying but how do you control emotions and raw desite like that? Like say to yourself, "oh it's one date, I am going to force myself to not be so attracted to him or desire him because I might get hurt"? I don't think it can be done, personally speaking, and why would you want to? Well it’s not the in person excitement / lust, but the obsessive style thoughts and fantasies in between the dates that can be moderated. And you do this by staying busy with other things, including dating other people which Gaeta is doing. The reason you want to keep those emotions in check is because if early stage OLDing is a rollercoaster of ups and downs, you’ll burnout emotionally, and perhaps want to give up entirely. See posts from @Eternal Sunshine for an example. Edited July 17, 2021 by Weezy1973 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 3 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said: Well it’s not the in person excitement / lust, but the obsessive style thoughts and fantasies in between the dates that can be moderated. And you do this by staying busy with other things, including dating other people which Gaeta is doing. Not sure why you omitted the rest of my post; I agreed with you saying attraction and being excited is good, becoming too invested/attached to the outcome is NOT good. Gaeta's got this down! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 What a crazy day! I've been on the road all day. I had told teacher that I might be able to see him late afternoon but I will have to disappoint him. I have a date set for 7 pm with Romeo (number 15 😉 ). He insisted to drive to my town (40 minute drive) as I have a 10 hour drive tomorrow and he wants to spare me driving tonight. That was sweet 🙂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted July 17, 2021 Author Share Posted July 17, 2021 1 hour ago, Weezy1973 said: but the obsessive style thoughts and fantasies in between the dates that can be moderated. I don't have those thoughts and I probably won't experience them for a while. See, my heart is rock hard from what happened with my ex. I'm going to enjoy this new man but I will always expect the other shoe to drop any moment. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I don't have those thoughts and I probably won't experience them for a while. See, my heart is rock hard from what happened with my ex. I'm going to enjoy this new man but I will always expect the other shoe to drop any moment. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, as they say. I'll be thinking of you Gaeta and checking in later or tomorrow for update! Enjoy! 💛 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 (edited) That’s really sad to hear your heart is “Rock hard ” and you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, gaeta. Edited July 17, 2021 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 17, 2021 Share Posted July 17, 2021 2 hours ago, Gaeta said: I will always expect the other shoe to drop any moment. Not a great place to be either… being in constant vigilance can be draining too. But totally understandable given the situation. Hope you’re having fun dating though! Sounds like it 😊 Link to post Share on other sites
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