Should I inititate the 2nd date?

[SumGuy]

On 7/29/2021 at 1:16 PM, Gaeta said:

I come from a culture where women are very strong and lead in the relationship, yes. I would not match well with an Alpha man. I prefer an omega man. 

An omega man is also handy in the case of virus-zombie-vampire apocalypse  

[SumGuy]

On 7/29/2021 at 1:35 PM, CaliforniaGirl said:

I mean...again..lots and lots of unhappy personal info here, especially for just one date. Geez.

I don't know, kind of normal in my age group, people ask, you answer.  Large difference between answering these things and dwelling on them, being bitter about them, etc.   This kind of stuff always came up early (she is the one that asked almost always) when I was dating, on date 1 or 2, but it did not monopolize the conversation.  You can learn a lot about a person in my mind on how they talk/feel about such a life changing event.

[SumGuy]

On 7/29/2021 at 2:13 PM, Gaeta said:

He was able to explain this to me without judging her or making negative comments about her. I've perceived he was happy in his marriage. She was the way she was and he accepted it and went along with it. Things started going bad enough to seek therapy 2 years before their divorce. He does not randomly talk about it. This information was given to me in a short window of 5 minutes, maybe less. It did not turn me off. 

In my expereince that is the way it should be...when she has talked about her past this way it is very impressive, a real plus.  Shows a level of maturity that is very attractive; sticking to the situation, not making it a blame game, you tried to make it work but it did not.   

[Gaeta]

I think there is hope for my heart of stone. We're done organizing our date for tomorrow and I am feeling........anticipation!  

[SumGuy]

On 7/28/2021 at 9:48 AM, Gaeta said:

...So, I offered we could still get out of town for a day trip. So much to discover in any direction outside of our city. This is when I learn he's a home buddy and he doesn't like going away, visiting new places, he likes restaurants but doesn't like hotels or B&B, being out downtown, festivals, concerts, etc. On a scale of 1 to 10, he's a 6 on being out and about, and told me he'll do it but he'll need a lot of convincing first. ...

If he thinks that is a 6 I shiver to think what he considers a 3.     I'd say he is a 4, maybe a 3 on a scale of 10 on being out and about (sans pandemic of course) and I'm a pretty heavy introvert.

[Gaeta]

4 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

 and I'm a pretty heavy introvert.

Where would you consider yourself on the scale?

[introverted1]

I'm pretty introverted and I need a certain amount of alone time in which to recharge, but this guy does sound pretty restrictive.  I would happily go to a hotel (or B&B), wander around downtown, attend a street festival, go to a concert (or the theater), take a day trip, etc., etc.  And I consider myself a home-body!

[SumGuy]

25 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Where would you consider yourself on the scale?

I'd say 5 (but you tell me), or 7 if you count the outdoors. 

As long as there is not a highly communicable disease going around  ....I love B&B's (vastly prefer them), love concerts and live music and dancing, love festivals and flea markets and art shows, like our local baseball stadium (but never watch baseball on TV) and love striking up conversations with strangers at bars. 

I can be very outgoing just because people interest me, (often mistaken for an extrovert), not because I need them to energize me like an extrovert.  I don't necessarily like crowds, but can put up with them and it all depends on the crowd...you know when you are in your element it rocks.  All that being said, when people talk about "culture" for me it is almost a code word for boring and what wealthy people in the 19th century did to distinguish themselves form the masses.

Nature, always up for an adventure, to get out, explore...and have gotten days and days away from the trail head and nearest ranger station, further the better for me.  I am not the person you want to rely on if you want a sober voice of reason if the trail is skiable. 

I have plenty of introverted interest and being on "lockdown" was not that hard for me (months went by where just saw my gf and kids...didn't bug me at all...kind of liked it), and I do need home/alone time to recharge.  I could spend all day doing stuff at home and not be bothered by it...but I do have a lot of cool stuff can do.   If she wants to stay in I am cool with that, plenty to do "inside"   my need to get out is pretty low to the extroverts I know, who can't go more than a week if that.

So where do you think I fall on the scale?  My desire to get out is only for things I like to do (though I am very open to trying new things) but can do without and have near zero motivation to get out just to get out.

 

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

I'd say 5 (but you tell me), or 7 if you count the outdoors. 

As long as there is not a highly communicable disease going around  ....I love B&B's (vastly prefer them), love concerts and live music and dancing, love festivals and flea markets and art shows, like our local baseball stadium (but never watch baseball on TV) and love striking up conversations with strangers at bars. 

So where do you think I fall on the scale? 

I'd say you're a 7+ on the scale. You're pretty versatile. 

I don't need to be out and about every weekend but when the routine starts getting to me it's nice to go away for a weekend and concentrate on each other. 

I've explained to him what is my need in terms of being out of home and he said it sounds normal to him and doesn't see a problem. Testing it is the ultimate answer. 

Tomorrow our date consist of dinner on a terrace then heading to the old port for street Artists & fireworks. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

I'm VERY introverted and so is my husband...we are out and about constantly. Hiking and walking are probably our favorite things to do but we also.like movies, taking the kids miniature golfing, we love the beach, etc. We love the wilderness or semi-wilderness best. It's not hard to find times and days when things won't be very crowded and it really isn't hard to avoid having to have conversations with strangers. 😀

[bene]

6 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I'm VERY introverted and so is my husband...we are out and about constantly. Hiking and walking are probably our favorite things to do but we also.like movies, taking the kids miniature golfing, we love the beach, etc. We love the wilderness or semi-wilderness best. It's not hard to find times and days when things won't be very crowded and it really isn't hard to avoid having to have conversations with strangers. 😀

We are very similar, being introverted doesn’t mean that you don’t have interests outside your house. You can go outdoors, to the movies, concerts, even large festivals without really talking to a lot of strangers. 
It is a major incompatibility though, if he doesn’t want to get out of the house even in the dating phase there’s no way he’s going to move from that couch when in a relationship

[Gaeta]

All my alarms would have gone off if l had perceived for one moment he's a couch potatoe. He's been doing his sister's renovation and he's shopping for a house with a bit of work to do.  All these details are telling me something about his personality.  Men in my life had some bad flaws but laziness was never one of them.  I screen for that sometimes even before l ask their names.

[Gaeta]

We had our 3rd date.

It was great. We went out to dinner spent some time downtown. I had left my car at his place so when we came back l came in. One thing lead to another and that lead us in bed. 🙂

So now starts the phase l hate the most.

[Cookiesandough]

Wow!!! Congrats? Get it, girl. Are you writing us from his bed haha. And what do you mean phase you hate the most? 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

🙂so now starts the phase l hate the most.

What phase is that?

[Gaeta]

1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said:

Wow!!! Congrats? Get it, girl. Are you writing us from his bed haha. And what do you mean phase you hate the most? 

Haha,  l couldn't sleep last night, no one ever warned me about those italian coffees.

That phase after intimicy when you wonder will his attention drop, was it to quick, etc.

[Calmandfocused]

7 hours ago, Gaeta said:

We had our 3rd date.

It was great. We went out to dinner spent some time downtown. I had left my car at his place so when we came back l came in. One thing lead to another and that lead us in bed. 🙂

So now starts the phase l hate the most.

Gosh this is so exciting!!!! Nice one Gaeta . I’m very happy for you. 
 

So I’ve got to ask, was the sexual connection there too? Did he do it for you? 

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, Calmandfocused said:

So I’ve got to ask, was the sexual connection there too? Did he do it for you? 

Ohhhhhh yes 😁 he's very passionate.

He text me at 8h30 this morning to tell me he's still savoring last night. 🥰

[Cookiesandough]

Oh yea, I see.

 

Aw( did he really use the word ‘savorIng? 😟) but awww that’s a nice msg to receive. 😊did you not stay the night? Does that not send the wrong message?

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, Cookiesandough said:

Oh yea, I see.

 

Aw( did he really use the word ‘savorIng? 😟) but awww that’s a nice msg to receive. 😊did you not stay the night? Does that not send the wrong message?

Savoring is my translation of what he said in French lol which was how we say things.

When l started to talk about heading home he asked l stay a little longer, l did.

I don't want to burn a good thing and l have a teen at home learning from my actions. 

Edited August 1, 2021 by Gaeta
Typo

[Cookiesandough]

Oh okay I see. Well it sounds good so far 😃

[Alvi]

I am so jealous. In a good way. 

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

He text me at 8h30 this morning to tell me he's still savoring last night. 🥰

So romantic. 

21 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I don't want to burn a good thing and l have a teen at home learning from my actions. 

You are probably right. Staying over the night after a third date is likely too soon. 

[Weezy1973]

6 hours ago, Gaeta said:

That phase after intimicy when you wonder will his attention drop, was it to quick, etc.

I think it’s more likely your attention drops…

 

That being said, are you two exclusive now? Or do you mind (hypothetically) if he dates / has sex with other women too? 

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

I think it’s more likely your attention drops…

 

That being said, are you two exclusive now? Or do you mind (hypothetically) if he dates / has sex with other women too? 

When we first met he told me he was not multi-dating. That being said, next time l see him  l will confirm we are only seeing each other if we continue being intimate.

[poppyfields]

On 8/1/2021 at 9:06 AM, Gaeta said:

When we first met he told me he was not multi-dating. That being said, next time l see him  l will confirm we are only seeing each other if we continue being intimate.

Hey Gaeta, haven't heard from ya in a couple of days, how are things going?   Have you deactivated your dating apps?  Told Teacherguy you've met someone?

When will you be seeing Romeo again?

Let us know when you get a chance, hope you're happy with everything!  💛

 

Edited August 3, 2021 by poppyfields