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Should I inititate the 2nd date?


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9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

forgive me for asking but did you satisfy him sexuallly?

guess he knows why his wife was cheating on him right lol

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1 minute ago, JRabbit said:

guess he knows why his wife was cheating on him right lol

Haha good one!

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6 minutes ago, JRabbit said:

How do you find the FB dating app?

Not bad at all so far. 

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3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Not bad at all so far. 

Interesting....might have to try it. Hinge not doing it for me...and def no Tinder lol

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Happy Lemming
7 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

My last night date shared with me that his ex-wife cheated on him with his best friend and they were caught in the act by a family member.

 

Why would he even bring that up??  That is definitely not "first date" conversation material.  I mean you are his date, not his therapist.

I mean you knew his status was divorced, so he could leave that subject alone, completely.  I know you didn't pry or asked questions about his divorce, why would he volunteer that information??

There are so many other subjects that can lead to interesting stories...  Why even go down that road...

Again, these men just don't know how to date.

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CaliforniaGirl
53 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Meeting a Primary school teacher tonight, lets see how deviant they can be in their personal life 😉

 

I went out with an MS teacher years ago and he wanted to "go home and play board games" and when I politely told him I'd had an awesome time and couldn't wait to see him again, but I had work in the morning and needed to go home, his face went to "simmering rage and insufferably insulted" (WTF?). He proceeded to follow up by telling me I had lied about my age because "you said you're 33 and you're almost 34." I was due to turn 34 in FOUR months, LOL. Because I was "a liar" he was "breaking up with me." (After one date...we weren't a couple...)

I don't want to scare you. I guess I'm not, anyway, since your stories are a lot scarier than this one!

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1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said:

  I know you didn't pry or asked questions about his divorce, why would he volunteer that information??

And i'm giving you guys the short version of his story lol

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CaliforniaGirl
23 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

My last night date shared with me that his ex-wife cheated on him with his best friend and they were caught in the act by a family member. I listenned to him share this and replied l was very sorry he went through that, it's a double betrayal etc etc. I then told him my last relationship ended as well because of cheating and gave him the big picture. He did not say that's terrible or that's a hurtful betrayal, nope! He leaned toward me and said: forgive me for asking but did you satisfy him sexuallly?

Yep!! I kid you not !!

I can see someone bumbling a date and mentioning the unfortunate breakup circumstances, that's kind of human, but did he really ask if you satisfy him sexually? I don't know how you're managing to dig up so many crazies...

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3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

but did he really ask if you satisfy him sexually? 

Oh ya! He leaned toward me so people at close by table wouldn't hear.

The question was a suggestion " is it possible you didn't satisfy him sexually?"

I got caught off guard and answered 🙄

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13 hours ago, Olivia24 said:

Im sure there are some keepers  on there, just  be cautious as  in any form of dating.

I think I watch too many lifetime movie channels recently because idk about that . Online dating is a sea of weirdos as far as the guys are concern. Maybe there are a few tokens , but from what I've seen heard, and read....ehhhhh

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Happy Lemming
2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I can see someone bumbling a date and mentioning the unfortunate breakup circumstances...

If you start to "bumble" or the conversation goes into a lull, have some funny stories ready, which might lead her to tell some funny experience/adventures.

Every person has a funny camping story... or something along those lines.

Do a little research before the date and have a few local "feel good" news stories in the back of your mind.  You know the ones "kittens rescued from storm drain", etc. etc. (that kind of stuff)

Complement the woman's jewelry and see if that sparks a story... The possibilities are endless. 

Whatever you do, stay away from any talk of ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, worst dates or any past dating stories.

If you hit it off with someone and you've been dating them for 6 months or so and they want some details (about your divorce)... fine, but definitely not on a first date.

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CaliforniaGirl
10 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

If you start to "bumble" or the conversation goes into a lull, have some funny stories ready, which might lead her to tell some funny experience/adventures.

Every person has a funny camping story... or something along those lines.

Do a little research before the date and have a few local "feel good" news stories in the back of your mind.  You know the ones "kittens rescued from storm drain", etc. etc. (that kind of stuff)

Complement the woman's jewelry and see if that sparks a story... The possibilities are endless. 

Whatever you do, stay away from any talk of ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, worst dates or any past dating stories.

If you hit it off with someone and you've been dating them for 6 months or so and they want some details (about your divorce)... fine, but definitely not on a first date.

Yeah, I know, I get it, I'm just saying, some people get really nervous on dates, and just babble. I usually don't as I'm kind of a "talker" but that in and of itself wouldn't have weirded me out as much. Yes, explaining the circumstances is a bit TMI but that alone wouldn't make me think "OMG, what an absolute, abject loser, throw this one in the trash can, he is literally hopeless."

There are some things that are red flags and just weird (like this guy asking whether she satisfied the ex sexually) - and that's different...then again, I almost wonder whether he just wanted to smash and was finding a way to bring sex into the convo fast. While that's not Gaeta's best case scenario (just smashing), it's not like that never happens either.

I've learned my lesson a little bit on Gaeta stories as more info often comes out later. :D

Edited by CaliforniaGirl
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Cookiesandough

Well you guys have to note that the desperate nature of OLD attracts a lot of people that have not exactly worked through previous baggage and are trying to distract by jumping into something else so they often bring it on the first date and overshare. The sexual comment is probably not that unusual either 

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3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I've learned my lesson a little bit on Gaeta stories as more info often comes out later. :D

You funny girl 😉

I'm not interested in seeing him again so it will be a short story on this one. 

 

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Happy Lemming
1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Yeah, I know, I get it, I'm just saying, some people get really nervous on dates, and just babble. I usually don't as I'm kind of a "talker" but that in and of itself wouldn't have weirded me out as much. Yes, explaining the circumstances is a bit TMI but that alone wouldn't make me thing "OMG, what an absolute, abject loser, throw this one in the trash can, he is literally hopeless."

There are some things that are red flags and just weird (like this guy asking whether she satisfied the ex sexually) - and that's different...then again, I almost wonder whether he just wanted to smash and was finding a way to bring sex into the convo fast. While that's not Gaeta's best case scenario (just smashing), it's not like that never happens either.

If you accidentally, stumble onto the subject... just back track and say... "Sorry, this really isn't good a 'first date' subject" and steer the conversation to something else.

And yes I agree... he was totally inappropriate and stupid for asking about "whether the previous guy was sexually satisfied". 

If a woman wants to sleep with you on the first date, she'll give you some hints, etc.  Otherwise, (on a first date), leave the subject of sex out of the conversation.

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CaliforniaGirl
6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You funny girl 😉

I'm not interested in seeing him again so it will be a short story on this one. 

 

On to the next! Fingers crossed!

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CaliforniaGirl
6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

If you accidentally, stumble onto the subject... just back track and say... "Sorry, this really isn't good a 'first date' subject" and steer the conversation to something else.

And yes I agree... he was totally inappropriate and stupid for asking about "whether the previous guy was sexually satisfied". 

If a woman wants to sleep with you on the first date, she'll give you some hints, etc.  Otherwise, (on a first date), leave the subject of sex out of the conversation.

Lemming, I know, I never had these problems. :D I"m just speaking for some people who may have them. I don't ask women to sleep with me either but thanks for the advice. ;) 

 

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CaliforniaGirl
9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You funny girl 😉

I'm not interested in seeing him again so it will be a short story on this one. 

 

You're good. You just need to stop seeking dates on escapedmentalpatients.com! Girl you need to write a book!!

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Happy Lemming
8 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

...people that have not exactly worked through previous baggage and are trying to distract by jumping into something else...

Many years ago, I remember I got dumped (by phone) at 6:00pm by this woman I had been dating for almost two years. 

So I showered, went out to the pub and by midnight I had a new "girlfriend".  The new woman had no clue I had just been dumped hours before.  I just steered the conversation to "funny stories and adventures".

Guys need to learn what subjects to leave alone (early in dating someone new).

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Forgot 26, I want to see what you look like at 55 @Gaeta

With all these lined up dates you must still be a hottie.

TBH on this forum you and @poppyfields are the 2 users I would most like to know what you look like

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Happy Lemming
8 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I"m just speaking for some people who may have them.

But these are minor flaws that guys can easily overcome and make him a better "dater".

 

Edited by Happy Lemming
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16 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

With all these lined up dates you must still be a hottie.

TBH on this forum you and @poppyfields are the 2 users I would most like to know what you look like

Poppyfield is definitely the hottie ! 😉

 

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29 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Many years ago, I remember I got dumped (by phone) at 6:00pm by this woman I had been dating for almost two years. 

So I showered, went out to the pub and by midnight I had a new "girlfriend".  The new woman had no clue I had just been dumped hours before.  I just steered the conversation to "funny stories and adventures".

That's scary to me lol

I have a serious fear of someone using me to fill a void. 

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Cookiesandough
41 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Many years ago, I remember I got dumped (by phone) at 6:00pm by this woman I had been dating for almost two years. 

So I showered, went out to the pub and by midnight I had a new "girlfriend".  The new woman had no clue I had just been dumped hours before.  I just steered the conversation to "funny stories and adventures".

Guys need to learn what subjects to leave alone (early in dating someone new).

I feel that but it’s honestly not even a detriment  to do this though… bc so many do it , it’s nbd

I remember when I was online dating I would use it to go out with someone and then vent about my ex with my dates sometimes and seriously no one batted  an eye lol 

 

It obviously takes a fair bit more than that to scare someone there off to the point even  I haven’t managed it yet 

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1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

He leaned toward me and said: forgive me for asking but did you satisfy him sexuallly?

I just spit out the water that I was drinking when I read this!!! Can't stop laughing. This is a true gem! You stood up and left right away I hope???

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