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Should I inititate the 2nd date?


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8 minutes ago, Weezy1973 said:

When women say they like a man that leads, what they mean is they like a man who leads them where they already want to go. 

This man is leading. He’s setting the pace. He’s in charge of whether or not they go out again. He’s deciding which questions of Gaeta’s he answers and which ones he ignores. And Gaeta is being passive…so all seems to be in tact…

Yes, you got a pretty good handle on this situation.

I will concentrate on my other prospects.

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Oh my!

I did  not reply to his poem last night so this morning he sent me a youtube of an old French song that says *let me love you*

At this point it's funny. 

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I sent him back a youtube of an old song called 'your absence' and it talks about how his face is fading away, he's just a far away memory lol

 

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If you want to go out with him again, just blatantly ask him.   If you don't, then don't.  No big deal here.  It is 2021.  It's ok for a woman to ask a man.  

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Do these poems he sends you, actually say anything pertinent to you or dating or are they just general poems he wrote at some point?...

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21 minutes ago, elaine567 said:

Do these poems he sends you, actually say anything pertinent to you or dating or are they just general poems he wrote at some point?...

They're romantic poems talking about nature, sunsets, about love, hope, seduction. I am identified in his poems as Venus or Divinity. (It's hard to translate French poetry in English lol)

After my last video he wrote back I will drive him crazy and he can't wait to see me again. I reply It appears you have no difficulties waiting

His reply was oh ya ?!!!

This man is 51, he could have picked up the phone to call me since last Thursday.  I've stepped down from my cloud. 

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This might be ALMOST as weird as sitting in a restaurant with your ball cap on and hoodie up during the entirety of your first date.  Men can't be all this weird, right??

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Eternal Sunshine

Back when I was online dating, I was once in this situation. Great 1st date and many romantic texts in the week after but not asking me out. I decided to ask him out and he initially agreed, then rescheduled twice, then told me that he is still not over his ex wife but would like to be friends. Texts continued after that until I blocked his number.

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@Eternal Sunshine: It's probably something like this. 

Not long ago I initiated the 2nd date with someone, he accepted with enthusiasm, we had that 2nd meeting and he even asked me for a 3rd one and POOF. Gone. At some point it gets too 'real' and they bail. 

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norealusername

The guy does sound weird. He should be at least mentioning the 2nd date by now. Some guys like to not seem 'over eager' so they'll wait a few days, maybe a week tops.

Personally, I think all the poetry is just weird. Maybe some women like that, I don't know. I've never sent a poem in my life unless it was pre-written on a card.

There's nothing wrong at all with the woman asking the guy out on a date. Try just asking him for the 2nd date and see what happens. If he continues sending poems instead of actual responses, then just next him.

 

 

 

 

 

=

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43 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

They're romantic poems talking about nature, sunsets, about love, hope, seduction. I am identified in his poems as Venus or Divinity. (It's hard to translate French poetry in English lol)

Love, hope, seduction? Venus or Divinity? Weird, just plain weird. I could understand if that was after you two dating for a while but after one frigging date????  If that is not love bombing, I don't know what is.

46 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

After my last video he wrote back I will drive him crazy and he can't wait to see me again. I reply It appears you have no difficulties waiting

His reply was oh ya ?!!!

What kind of response is "oh ya" You heavily hinted that you like to see him and "oh ya" is the best he can come with? lol He still hasn't asked out out. It shouldn't be difficult to ask you out for him, especially with the Canada day and the Long Weekend coming up.

Seriously, if you really, really, really like him, then ask him out directly. If not and/or you have other prospects on the horizon, then don't even bother with him.

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So much angst! It's quite simple -- ask him out for a casual date. Stop with "men like to/should chase" nonsense and just ask him out if you like him. Get out of your head and go on a 2nd date. Reevaluate after that date.

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29 minutes ago, norealusername said:

Personally, I think all the poetry is just weird. Maybe some women like that, I don't know. I've never sent a poem in my

I think it is very endearing if there is an actual meaning attached to it. In this particular case, there is none.

Edited by Alvi
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1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

This man is 51, he could have picked up the phone to call me since last Thursday. 

I would have blocked someone asap for sending all this meaningless spam. He seems more like a bot. It's unclear why you are wasting time exchanging videos.

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Happy Lemming

Add me to the camp that thinks this guy is weird...

Initially, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I'd let one poem or one song slide, but anything more than that and something is not quite right with this guy.

Throw him back and keep fishing.

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18 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

 It's unclear why you are wasting time exchanging videos.

I gave it a week. I wouldn't call it wasting time I still made other contact and I got dates set up for the coming days. 

The video I sent was to entertain myself. 

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poppyfields

My opinion? 

He's trolling.  

Gaeta, best to stop validating him, which is what sending the video did.   In fact, every response, positive OR negative, validates him. 

And he's loving the attention, so my advice is stop giving it. 

Nothing has to be said, simply block or ignore. 

If me, I'd simply ignore, blocking requires effort. 

NEXT! 😄

Edited by poppyfields
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Happy Lemming
1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

@Allupinnit Appears I am  weirdo magnet.

It's not you... it's on-line dating that is a magnet for weirdo(s).

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Thank you all for your time! 

This one was #8, now lets see what #9 has in store.

 

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I think he’s sending poems and such because he is emotionally stunted.

heck, he could easily send texts that are personal and designed to have conversations to get to know you. He could also take time to actually call you like a genuine person would.

but no, he takes the easy and meaningless route by copying and pasting stupid poems.

I used to have a friend who did this with music videos so he didn’t have to get involved in any conversations involving emotions.

stunted emotionally is what I called him. He was 58 years old then and acted emotionally like an 8 year old.

Edited by S2B
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Maybe poetry is just his thing and otherwise he's not a good communicator. We all have our quirks.

I would probably have tired if it at this point since he hasn't asked you out again.

If you're still interested go ahead and ask him out.  Whether you do that or wait for him to ask, continue enjoying meeting other men as you are doing.  

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Annonymous1234

Is his poetry actually any good? . . . I have this image of him on your next date, only conversing with you in rhyming couplets (while walking on the outer side of the pavement.) 😄

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