Should I inititate the 2nd date?

[Alpacalia]

21 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

really like the new man l'm talking with, he shows a lot of interest in getting to know who l am.

Good to hear this.

Hope it goes well!

[clia]

39 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

So, there was no poem, no Venus of his sunsets, just a regular message and he asked what l would like "we" do this weekend.

I have not replied....

I really like the new man l'm talking with, he shows a lot of interest in getting to know who l am. It makes the poet appear 'blah'.

 

“I’m sorry, but I already have plans for the weekend.”

As you said, you snooze, you lose. 

[norealusername]

5 minutes ago, clia said:

“I’m sorry, but I already have plans for the weekend.”

As you said, you snooze, you lose. 

I think you're right. It's a bit rude to wait until Friday night to start making plans. It says you're not too high on his list of priorities. 

[Gaeta]

So poet text again today, looks like he's done with the poems. He shared something about work, and something personal, it felt like a normal exchange.

Meanwhile l met bodyguard tonight. He was nice, polite, he's talkative, no flags at all. He's humongous!! Like a wrestler. I wasn't sure how l felt about that. He wrote me after he had a great time and wanted to know how l felt about our meeting.

[CaliforniaGirl]

9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

So poet text again today, looks like he's done with the poems. He shared something about work, and something personal, it felt like a normal exchange.

Meanwhile l met bodyguard tonight. He was nice, polite, he's talkative, no flags at all. He's humongous!! Like a wrestler. I wasn't sure how l felt about that. He wrote me after he had a great time and wanted to know how l felt about our meeting.

That sounds more promising. He sounds into it and you didn't have to pull teeth. So did you answer Pentameter Pete or are you just doing the slow fade?

[Gaeta]

I could see a change of attitude in poet in the past 2-3 days. No more poem, he lead deeper conversation, not surface conversation like he used to so late last night l thought wth l messaged him, l felt the water temperature and jumped. I invited him to eat out. His reaction was: *Wow yes, it would be my pleasure to go eat with you.*  So we have a date tomorrow.

I probably needed to feel a certain way to make an invitation, well no need to search deep, l needed him to drop the romance and show me a bit of the man.

 

[Gaeta]

9 hours ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

That sounds more promising. He sounds into it and you didn't have to pull teeth. 

I told my oldest daugther last night that when l meet a man that's into me it makes me wanna run away. She said she's the same. I feel that way with bodyguard.

Even if poet floaded me with romance and poems it never made me want to run away.  

[Happy Lemming]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

 I invited him to eat out. His reaction was: *Wow yes, it would be my pleasure to go eat with you.*  So we have a date tomorrow.

 

So if this second date goes well, will you ask him to a third date or will you wait for him to plan something and ask you??

[Gaeta]

1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said:

So if this second date goes well, will you ask him to a third date or will you wait for him to plan something and ask you??

The way he reacted to my invitation it's like he was waiting/hoping for it?  I will see how the conversation goes tomorrow and what his behavior is after the date. If he had not burried me under poetry I would have asked him on that second date already. 

[Happy Lemming]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

If he had not burried me under poetry I would have asked him on that second date already. 

Maybe you could mention that you didn't enjoy all of the poetry, etc. and would prefer that he call you and communicate/invite you out on dates.

Sometimes guys (myself included) think we are doing the right/correct thing, when in fact we are wrong.  As an example, if a woman complains about something, she doesn't necessarily want you to fix it, she may just want you to listen.  (It took me a LONG time to learn that one).

[Gaeta]

Thinking of it now, l did enjoy the poetry, l said so in this thread,  but what was missing was real exchange between us. In that week of poetry l've learn nothing new about him. When he dropped the poetry at the same time he openned up a bit. 

[Happy Lemming]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Thinking of it now, l did enjoy the poetry, l said so in this thread,  but what was missing was real exchange between us.

Communicate that to him (I assume you think he still has potential - I am making that assumption because a 2nd date is planned/set)

Again... sometimes (men) just need to be told things.

[Gaeta]

5 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

Again... sometimes (men) just need to be told things.

Yes and l will do that by mentionning l enjoyed the poetry and equally enjoyed discovering who he is. I don't want to shut down the poetry l think that's who he is.

[Allupinnit]

Welp...

[Gaeta]

12 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Meanwhile l met bodyguard tonight. He was nice, polite, he's talkative, no flags at all. He's humongous!! Like a wrestler. I wasn't sure how l felt about that. He wrote me after he had a great time and wanted to know how l felt about our meeting.

I wrote this right after our date last night and after cooling down a bit and talking to a friend, we've identified 2 red flags that bodyguard has trust issues.

Don't we all carry little red flags? If l eliminate everyone saying something weird l'll have no one to date.

[Happy Lemming]

25 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Don't we all carry little red flags?

Of course, everyone has red flags... I'll be the first to admit that I have flaws.  Some women looked past my flaws, others attempted to deal with them and yet others decided not to date me (after the first date).

13 hours ago, Gaeta said:

 He wrote me after he had a great time and wanted to know how l felt about our meeting.

Now for me, I would see this as a red flag, that this "Body Guard" needs assurance that the date went well.  The fact that he asked how you felt after the meeting would indicate he isn't all that confident in his dating or he needs reassurance that he did/say all the correct things.

I wouldn't do that, I would just wait a couple of days and call with 2nd date plans and see if you were agreeable to a second date.

 

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

I wouldn't do that, I would just wait a couple of days and call with 2nd date plans and see if you were agreeable to a second date.

 

Ya, he started texting at 8 a.m. as l type this he's trying to call. I need to cool down after a date and grow anticipation. 

[Happy Lemming]

8 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Ya, he started texting at 8 a.m.

On a Sunday morning?? Why??

What is wrong with people??  What in the world do you need to say at 8 am on a Sunday morning??

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

On a Sunday morning?? Why??

What is wrong with people??  What in the world do you need to say at 8 am on a Sunday morning??

He likes her... 🤷 Didn't Poetry Guy text on a Sunday?

[CaliforniaGirl]

5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

I told my oldest daugther last night that when l meet a man that's into me it makes me wanna run away. She said she's the same. I feel that way with bodyguard.

Even if poet floaded me with romance and poems it never made me want to run away.  

Well...wait...I'm not being a smart-A, but couldn't this be considered a red flag too?

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Well...wait...I'm not being a smart-A, but couldn't this be considered a red flag too?

Which part could be a red flag? I've lost my way in my own thread lol

[CaliforniaGirl]

Just now, Gaeta said:

Which part could be a red flag? I've lost my way in my own thread lol

That when someone is into you, you want to run away. 

[Gaeta]

2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

That when someone is into you, you want to run away. 

Ah yes! But are they into me or being cligny. Bguard called back and l picked up. We spoke 30 mins.

Our 1st meeting was last night. He text after our meeting, he text at 8 a.m. He called, when l didn't pick up he text 'are you busy'. He called again and l picked up.

Is that being into me or being cligny?

[Miss Spider]

Seems like a lot of people like those that keep them off balance… Maybe plays to their need for understanding/ to make sense of stuff and validation from others when someone shows a little interest, but still low enough to confuse them.Maybe the person is just really desirable so less available. But multidating, poet dude should have been long forgotten, left in the dust for the time-waster he is,  but he’s still being mentioned, almost as though he still has a hook in still 

Edited July 4, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[FMW]

Texting "are you busy" immediately following you not answering his call would bother me, seems pushy. 

He could have just left a voice mail message or texted whatever it was he wanted to say.  

That's  not a huge thing by itself, but would have annoyed me.