Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Hi guys, So I've been seeing a guy for 4 months now. Were boyfriend girlfriend.Finally found someone that I vibe with, the connection is great but recently hes been acting weird. Last week I saw him Saturday, we had dinner. He seemed like himself. Sunday he was texting and we had a great convo. Monday I saw him we had sex. Tuesday I saw him again but we did oral only no intercourse (which I thought was weird for us) then we cuddled in bed. He told me he's flying to Chicago on the weekend. So Wensday we didnt see each other only texting. Thursday he didnt plan with me anything which I was bummed about. Friday he texted that hes thinking of me and will be back Sunday. Saturday he texts me from Chicago good morning with kisses, then few hours later miss you. Today no text from him, so I text him have a good flight, he replies thank you baby cant wait to see you. Then I respond see you today or is tomorrow better. He instantly replies maybe tomorrow but for sure soon!!!! WTF?!! To me that's a sad ass response. It doesnt scream to me he's excited to see me. It feels like he's kinda becoming distant. Am I wrong to think this?? Of course I didnt respond anything to that because I am pissed and sad by how he responded. Why would he say but for sure soon? That's something you say to someone that's your friend or sister not someone who's supposedly were committed to each other. Is my intuition correct? Hes pulling away? Thoughts? 1 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 It’s really hard to say. Maybe he’s feeling a little pushed or suffocated? Anybody coming in from a flight is going to be tired, but you’re pushing to see him immediately. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 17 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: It’s really hard to say. Maybe he’s feeling a little pushed or suffocated? Anybody coming in from a flight is going to be tired, but you’re pushing to see him immediately. So I shouldn't be upset that he wrote "but for sure soon?" We havent even seen each other before he left. The maybe tomorrow is ok but why would he add but for sure soon..to me it's like there is no plan. So he isnt really missing me. Ugh... I mean I miss him very much .. We dont live together, that's another thing. Why isnt he asking me to move in yet? Is it still too early? 4 months? Edited June 27, 2021 by Britney25 Forgot to add Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Yes you are crazy to think this. Add the fact you are asking why he hasn't asked you to move in after 4 months.. I can't tell if this is an actual serious topic. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: I text him have a good flight, he replies thank you baby cant wait to see you. Then I respond see you today or is tomorrow better. He instantly replies maybe tomorrow but for sure soon! What is the nature of his visit? For example business? A funeral? Makes a difference. Don't sweat it. His mind is on all the BS of travel these days and whatever the purpose/nature of his trip is. 16 weeks dating is the time to observe, but don't take the pulse of the relationship so intensely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 10 minutes ago, Britney25 said: We dont live together, that's another thing. Why isnt he asking me to move in yet? Is it still too early? 4 months? Britney, are you serious with this? Girl you need to slow down! YES! It's too early and I think you are way over-reacting to his "but for sure soon" comment too. To me, everything seems just fine, more than fine! Try and chill, stop pushing, otherwise you are going to blow this. Edited June 27, 2021 by poppyfields 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: What is the nature of his visit? For example business? A funeral? Makes a difference. Don't sweat it. His mind is on all the BS of travel these days and whatever the purpose/nature of his trip is. 16 weeks dating is the time to observe, but don't take the pulse of the relationship so intensely. He said buisness trip. I just feel like he has no plans to meet and supposedly he misses me. He used to say yes all the time to meeting, now I got a maybe tomorrow but soon for sure? What does that mean? I dont understand Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 8 minutes ago, Punterxx said: Yes you are crazy to think this. Add the fact you are asking why he hasn't asked you to move in after 4 months.. I can't tell if this is an actual serious topic. My friend told me weird. Hes 40. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 4 months is way too early to even think about moving in. Maybe he just needs an evening to himself after coming home. You're panicking for no reason. Are you usually this insecure and catastrophic in your thinking? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Britney, are you serious with this? Girl you need to slow down! YES! It's too soon and I think you are way over-reacting to his "see you soon" comment too. To me, everything seems just fine, more than fine! Try and chill otherwise you are going to blow this. But why would he say maybe...sometime soon. He never ever texted me this before. He used to make plans and now I inniatie them , and now this weird comment. He doesnt even ask me hows my day anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: But why would he say maybe...sometime soon. He never ever texted me this before. He used to make plans and now I inniatie them , and now this weird comment. He doesnt even ask me hows my day anymore. Maybe he's feeling a bit smothered. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: 4 months is way too early to even think about moving in. Maybe he just needs an evening to himself after coming home. You're panicking for no reason. Are you usually this insecure and catastrophic in your thinking? ok today we don't have to meet I understand but I get a maybe tomorrow but for sure soon...I never got that before. I would prefer he tell me a day. Tuesday..etc. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 4 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He said buisness trip. I just feel like he has no plans to meet and supposedly he misses me. He used to say yes all the time to meeting, now I got a maybe tomorrow but soon for sure? What does that mean? I dont understand It means he'd like to unwind after his trip and the last thing he needs is an insecure gf hassling him about when he will see her.... Relax! I see nothing to be alarmed about here - at all! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: Maybe he's feeling a bit smothered. ?? I dont text him everyday asking to meet. How is he smothered when he initiatives miss you texts. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, poppyfields said: It means he'd like to unwind after his trip and the last thing he needs is an insecure gf hassling him about when he will see her.... Relax! I see nothing to be alarmed about here - at all! Agree . Clingy is basically BF repellant. Slow your roll, take a deep breath and call your friends . 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Britney25 said: ok today we don't have to meet I understand but I get a maybe tomorrow but for sure soon...I never got that before. I would prefer he tell me a day. Tuesday..etc. So one instance that deviates from a pattern is enough to throw you into an anxious tailspin? Girl. CHILL. If he is distancing himself because he wants to dump you, worrying and getting all pissed off isn't going to change the outcome anyway. Edited June 27, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: It means he'd like to unwind after his trip and the last thing he needs is an insecure gf hassling him about when he will see her.... Relax! I see nothing to be alarmed about here - at all! Hmm I guess I wanted more enthusiasm from him not a maybe...it seems everything is up in air especially when we live 10minutes away from each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree . Clingy is basically BF repellant. Slow your roll, take a deep breath and call your friends . Clingy? We only saw each other 2 times in a week. That's not a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: So one instance that deviates from a pattern is enough to through you into an anxious tailspin? Girl. CHILL. If he is distancing himself because he wants to dump you, worrying and getting all pissed off isn't going to change the outcome anyway. True. I know. I just feel something's off lately. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 6 minutes ago, Britney25 said: True. I know. I just feel something's off lately. What else is off? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: True. I know. I just feel something's off lately. And maybe it is. You will know soon enough. But freaking out will not make it not happen. Panicking over whether someone you've dated for a grand total of 4 months hasn't asked you to move is your fear and anxiety spinning out of control and suggests you have lost perspective. Perhaps you need to step back and re-assess where you get these unrealistic expectations from. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 3 minutes ago, poppyfields said: What else is off? Well I have been the one asking to meet mostly the last 3 weeks. He just asked to meet Monday. Past week and a half doesnt even ask me hows my day anymore. Now doesnt seem to have a day when were going to meet. It just feels different. Today he didnt even text good morning, I texted him. I just dont understand how can he say sometimes soon for sure. That's an up in air comment. Especially when we've been together 4 months?!! How can you not say that's a dick comment? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: And maybe it is. You will know soon enough. But freaking out will not make it not happen. Panicking over whether someone you've dated for a grand total of 4 months hasn't asked you to move is your fear and anxiety spinning out of control and suggests you have lost perspective. Perhaps you need to step back and re-assess where you get these unrealistic expectations from. He doesn't know I'm feeling this way. I think I should have a talk with him that he feels a little distant lately, that is if we even meet this week. I feel like he's not excited to see me. 5 days we havent seen each other. He's not rushing to even see me tomorrow. Just feels off. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted June 27, 2021 Share Posted June 27, 2021 39 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Why isnt he asking me to move in yet? Is it still too early? 4 months? Do you live at home? What's the rush? Frankly, "I didnt respond anything to that because I am pissed and sad by how he responded" is a "sad ass response". Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 27, 2021 Author Share Posted June 27, 2021 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Do you live at home? What's the rush? Frankly, "I didnt respond anything to that because I am pissed and sad by how he responded" is a "sad ass response". Well what am I supposed to say?! He said maybe tomorrow but for sure soon. That could mean in a week! No I'm not happy with that response as it's very vague. My friend told me if he's serious about me he should at least ask if I want to move in. Link to post Share on other sites
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