Author Britney25 Posted June 28, 2021 Author Share Posted June 28, 2021 1 minute ago, MsJayne said: Why not? You're his girlfriend, he keeps saying he wants to see you. If you don't feel comfortable going around to see what's up that's a sign that he's in control of your relationship, and you need to think hard about that because that's actually an early warning for an abusive relationship. He says he cant wait to see me...thinking of you..miss you..BUT is there a date this week?! Nope Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 4 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He says he cant wait to see me...thinking of you..miss you..BUT is there a date this week?! Nope Yes, we know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: No he doesn't control me. Nope, controlling behaviour isn't always about stalking and overt abuse, it usually starts with subtle mind games, the lead up to emotional abuse. That's how the abuser tests the water, how far can they push you, checking how much it takes to make you lose it and whether you're smart enough to see what they're up to. Think about the state you're in over this, how you feel confused and on the backfoot, you can't confront him - in other words, you don't feel you can be yourself with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 4 minutes ago, MsJayne said: Nope, controlling behaviour isn't always about stalking and overt abuse, it usually starts with subtle mind games, the lead up to emotional abuse. That's how the abuser tests the water, how far can they push you, checking how much it takes to make you lose it and whether you're smart enough to see what they're up to. Think about the state you're in over this, how you feel confused and on the backfoot, you can't confront him - in other words, you don't feel you can be yourself with him. What if he texts good morning tomorrow?? Should ignore that as well? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Britney25 said: What if he texts good morning tomorrow?? Should ignore that as well? I would. Reason, if he's serious about you, he'll be on your doorstep tomorrow. If he's not, you've got minor heartbreak as opposed to the major you'd get down the track after wasting a couple of years. And if he does turn up, you have to tell him how his off-handedness has made you feel. Edited June 29, 2021 by MsJayne Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 17 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Yes, we know. Yea so it makes me feel weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) 25 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He says he cant wait to see me...thinking of you..miss you..BUT is there a date this week?! Nope It happenned to me in my last relationship. Suddenly he had no specific day to see me. It lasted a couple of weeks. He'd call, text, that he missed me, couldn't wait to be with me again. I thought of driving by but didn't. I discovered later his ex wife was staying at his place those 2 weeks. So, you take your life into your hands or let him take you on a ride. Edited June 29, 2021 by Gaeta 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 26 minutes ago, Gaeta said: It happenned to me in my last relationship. Suddenly he had no specific day to see me. It lasted a couple of weeks. He'd call, text, that he missed me, couldn't wait to be with me again. I thought of driving by but didn't. I discovered later his ex wife was staying at his place those 2 weeks. So, you take your life into your hands or let him take you on a ride. If he textes tomorrow good morning would you reply? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) 58 minutes ago, MsJayne said: Nope, controlling behaviour isn't always about stalking and overt abuse, it usually starts with subtle mind games, the lead up to emotional abuse. That's how the abuser tests the water, how far can they push you, checking how much it takes to make you lose it and whether you're smart enough to see what they're up to. Think about the state you're in over this, how you feel confused and on the backfoot, you can't confront him - in other words, you don't feel you can be yourself with him. ⬆️⬆️⬆️ Listen to the Jayney-Jayne. Edited June 29, 2021 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 8 minutes ago, Britney25 said: If he textes tomorrow good morning would you reply? Britney. Drop the fear. Get in control of yourself. You're literally so terrified of one simple text that you've kept a 7-page thread going for step-by-step instructions. Not healthy. By a mile. Confront him...or play "I can be standoffish as long as you" until you crack...it is up to you. It is up to YOU. This is YOUR relationship. You have a say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 5 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Britney. Drop the fear. Get in control of yourself. You're literally so terrified of one simple text that you've kept a 7-page thread going for step-by-step instructions. Not healthy. By a mile. Confront him...or play "I can be standoffish as long as you" until you crack...it is up to you. It is up to YOU. This is YOUR relationship. You have a say. Yes but ms Jayne is telling me to ignore his text. That's what I'm doing right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: Nope, controlling behaviour isn't always about stalking and overt abuse, it usually starts with subtle mind games, the lead up to emotional abuse. That's how the abuser tests the water, how far can they push you, checking how much it takes to make you lose it and whether you're smart enough to see what they're up to. Think about the state you're in over this, how you feel confused and on the backfoot, you can't confront him - in other words, you don't feel you can be yourself with him. So what exactly is his game?? How long can he keep this up? Why tell me his tired then text me twice today thinking of you and hope you had a great day. To keep me hooked? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: I would. Reason, if he's serious about you, he'll be on your doorstep tomorrow. If he's not, you've got minor heartbreak as opposed to the major you'd get down the track after wasting a couple of years. And if he does turn up, you have to tell him how his off-handedness has made you feel. He just Double texted me about my day again. How to proceed?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 16 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Britney. Drop the fear. Get in control of yourself. You're literally so terrified of one simple text that you've kept a 7-page thread going for step-by-step instructions. Not healthy. By a mile. Confront him...or play "I can be standoffish as long as you" until you crack...it is up to you. It is up to YOU. This is YOUR relationship. You have a say. He just double texted me about my day again. I know I'm asking again. But should I reply? Or keep him hanging? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: He just double texted me about my day again. I know I'm asking again. But should I reply? Or keep him hanging? You decide. You said you're doing what Jayne wants you to do, now you say you don't know what to do. I thought you were ignoring his texts? See what I mean? Games will never work for you. Period. You can't stand it, you want to talk to him. Right? So...what do you think the answer is? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 Just now, CaliforniaGirl said: You decide. You said you're doing what Jayne wants you to do, now you say you don't know what to do. I thought you were ignoring his texts? See what I mean? Games will never work for you. Period. You can't stand it, you want to talk to him. Right? So...what do you think the answer is? I mean I didn't expect him to double text me. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 6 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I mean I didn't expect him to double text me. So you're surprised that he double-texted you and...? Decide what to do from here. How many pages is it now...you're still terrified to make one single move without not just an answer, but many many answers from many people and then you go with the one that seems to be said the most...Just feeling this terrified of his reaction to ONE SINGLE text of yours isn't setting off any warning bells for you about your relationship? Are you sure you've never had insecurity issues? Just checking. I believe you if it's yes. If it IS yes then STOP. Take a step back. Breathe. And ask yourself: Why am I this utterly terrified, this paralyzed to make a single move without the okay of dozens of total strangers, and without their exact blueprint of exactly when I should answer, how I should answer, and what I should answer? Is it ever normal to feel this paralyzed in what's supposed to be an "I love you" relationship? Are you sure this is the first time you've felt this intimidated by this man? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 11 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He just double texted me about my day again. I know I'm asking again. But should I reply? Or keep him hanging? Ignore, ignore, ignore.....he's double-texting, he's already copped on that there's something not right. If he has any balls he'll either come around to your place or at least call to find out what's wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: I would. Reason, if he's serious about you, he'll be on your doorstep tomorrow. If he's not, you've got minor heartbreak as opposed to the major you'd get down the track after wasting a couple of years. And if he does turn up, you have to tell him how his off-handedness has made you feel. Well I replied to him and he just said ok good. Left me at that. What do you think to his reply? I know I shouldn't have texted but I did....ugh. Edited June 29, 2021 by Britney25 Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 I'd see that double text and call him up and just simply ask him what the eff is up. I mean he's your boyfriend, right? I think you know in your gut something is different and that never feels good. Well, you can sit on your hands and torture yourself or just force the conversation. I know which one I'd choose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 1 minute ago, Allupinnit said: I'd see that double text and call him up and just simply ask him what the eff is up. I mean he's your boyfriend, right? I think you know in your gut something is different and that never feels good. Well, you can sit on your hands and torture yourself or just force the conversation. I know which one I'd choose. Well I replied to that double text and all he said is ok good. Link to post Share on other sites
Allupinnit Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Well I replied to that double text and all he said is ok good. Look - YOU know things are different. And HE knows things are different. And he's being an a**h*** to you, acting like they're not. I'd call him - literally, and on the carpet. This is dumb. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Well I replied to that double text and all he said is ok good. For the love of...Give me his number. I'll handle this. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted June 29, 2021 Share Posted June 29, 2021 5 minutes ago, Allupinnit said: Look - YOU know things are different. And HE knows things are different. And he's being an a**h*** to you, acting like they're not. I'd call him - literally, and on the carpet. This is dumb. That's what I've been saying!!!! What is Britney so paralyzed about over this! SPEAK. This is torture. "A week" of not answering...okay, but kind of answering but kind of not but but but...will drive us ALL crazy, not just Britney, LOL. This is only the first day and it's like 8 pages. SPEAK. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted June 29, 2021 Author Share Posted June 29, 2021 Just now, CaliforniaGirl said: For the love of...Give me his number. I'll handle this. Ok well I texted him finally about him being distant 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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