Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: Britney I think you both need to be more communicative. When questions arise in your mind, just ask him. Put him on the spot. Ok so one last time. How do I proceed? Stay silent today? Ignore him for how long? Please tell me one last time. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 Do you have anywhere you can go today? Are any of your friends doing anything you can join in? If not, it's going to be hard for you to ignore him if he contacts you because you are going to be too lonely. I could do it but I fear you can't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 Just now, stillafool said: Do you have anywhere you can go today? Are any of your friends doing anything you can join in? If not, it's going to be hard for you to ignore him if he contacts you because you are going to be too lonely. I could do it but I fear you can't. I will try to do something. I will ignore him today because most likely he wont check in on me. What if he texts good morning tomorrow ? Do I ignore that as well? Or just get to the point? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I will try to do something. I will ignore him today because most likely he wont check in on me. What if he texts good morning tomorrow ? Do I ignore that as well? Or just get to the point? Ignore him if you don't hear from him today/tonight. When he contacts you again after the first ignore calmly tell him how you felt about this day and what your expectations are if he wants you to be his gf. Edited July 4, 2021 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: I will try to do something. I will ignore him today because most likely he wont check in on me. What if he texts good morning tomorrow ? Do I ignore that as well? Or just get to the point? Have you tried to challenge him on some of the things he does that you feel are inconsiderate? Playing games will end up in one of 2 ways, either he will end up pissed off or you will. Either way, it will put the relationship in jeopardy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 Just now, Tinyjaguar said: Have you tried to challenge him on some of the things he does that you feel are inconsiderate? Playing games will end up in one of 2 ways, either he will end up pissed off or you will. Either way, it will put the relationship in jeopardy. No I never did. How. Do I do this thou? Do I bring it up tomorrow? Why he didnt want to spend the 4th with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: Ignore him if he you don't hear from him today/tonight. When he contacts you again after the first ignore calmly tell him you felt about this day and what your expectations are if he wants you to be his gf. Ok Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: No I never did. How. Do I do this thou? Do I bring it up tomorrow? Why he didnt want to spend the 4th with me? You just have to call him up and tell him that you need to talk and arrange a "date" to discuss your feelings. Then it would be best to write down what you want to say and read it over and over until you have the jist of it committed to memory. Then have the discussion at the date. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 Oh, and be prepared to end it if he can't give you what you want. All I'm saying is that it is best to get things out in the open, then see what you both want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 3 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said: Oh, and be prepared to end it if he can't give you what you want. All I'm saying is that it is best to get things out in the open, then see what you both want. Am I right to be sad he didnt have plans for us today? Why would he just send breakfast to me? Thinking that's enough so she would be ok? I dont understand. I am furious as well and hopefully I can control it because I really want to text him and call him out. Ughhh Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: hopefully I can control it because I really want to text him and call him out. Ughhh Do Not Do This. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 minute ago, stillafool said: Do Not Do This. God it's so hard. I'm really crying here. So hard because I have strong feeling for him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 2 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Am I right to be sad he didnt have plans for us today? Why would he just send breakfast to me? Thinking that's enough so she would be ok? I dont understand. I am furious as well and hopefully I can control it because I really want to text him and call him out. Ughhh Well, if he has not lived up to expectations, then you are right to feel somewhat unhappy, but he may not aware of how his actions have upset you. That is why you need the talk. At the moment, your lines of communications with each other are being easily confused. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 6 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said: Oh, and be prepared to end it if he can't give you what you want. All I'm saying is that it is best to get things out in the open, then see what you both want. Agree. Asking us the same questions isn't going to quell the anxiety and the worry-rumination. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 (edited) I think you’re right to be bothered by that, especially in light of the other things you’ve told us. The bottom line is your feelings are valid. I don’t know what the breakfast thing is about. Maybe to placate you by seeming caring, idk. I think something is real fishy about this guy. If you feel it too, ignoring it is not the answer IMO. Like others said, I think you need to talk to him point blank about how you feel about these certain behaviors. His response will tell you what you need to know. If he really feels the way he says, he will be quick to step up and change. If he doesn’t, walk, because you can do better than a 1/2 ***ed relationship I’m trying to break up with my bf, so I told him I was sick this weekend until I can get the courage to tell him. I think you should take some time and get the courage to confront this situation. Happy 4th and I hope you can still have fun, regardless. Edited July 4, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 3 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said: Well, if he has not lived up to expectations, then you are right to feel somewhat unhappy, but he may not aware of how his actions have upset you. That is why you need the talk. At the moment, your lines of communications with each other are being easily confused. Yeah we do need to talk. Tomorrow I am going to talk with him IF he texts me first. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: I think you’re right to be bothered by that, especially in light of the other things you’ve told us. The bottom line is your feelings are valid. I don’t know what the breakfast thing is about. Maybe to placate you by seeming caring, idk. I think something is real fishy about this guy. If you feel it too, ignoring it is not the answer IMO. Like others said, I think you need to talk to him point blank about how you feel about these certain behaviors. His response will tell you what you need to know. If he really feels the way he says, he will be quick to step up and change. If he doesn’t, walk, because you can do better than a 1/2 ***ed relationship I’m trying to break up with my bf, so I told him I was sick this weekend until I can get the courage to tell him. I think you should take some time and get the courage to confront this situation. Happy 4th and I hope you can still have fun, regardless. I'm really f***ing sad. He thinks sending breakfast is ok to excuse himself? He didn't even ask what I'm up to? Have a good day. Just thinking of you? What about tomorrow? No mention about tomorrow. We are both off from work. Ugh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: I'm really f***ing sad. He thinks sending breakfast is ok to excuse himself? He didn't even ask what I'm up to? Have a good day. Just thinking of you? What about tomorrow? No mention about tomorrow. We are both off from work. Ugh May be you need to initiate contact. It is the only way that you will be able to get it out in the open on your own terms. He probably doesn't have a clue that he is pissing you off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 4, 2021 Author Share Posted July 4, 2021 4 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said: May be you need to initiate contact. It is the only way that you will be able to get it out in the open on your own terms. He probably doesn't have a clue that he is pissing you off. I'm sure he doesn't. He texted like everything is sweet cherries Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: I'm sure he doesn't. He texted like everything is sweet cherries Is this a case of "if you don't ask, you don't get"? If he is doing it all wrong but you want to put it right, you need to tell him what you want. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 (edited) Britney. If you want answers - real answers - you will need to have a mature and productive conversation with him. Not chew him out by text while he's with a friend. Not ignore him when he gets in touch. Neither of those options is going to serve you any purpose other than prolonging your anger and anxiety. If you come out swinging or stonewall him, you are definitely not going to get the result you want: clarity on his feelings. Edited July 4, 2021 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Britney. If you want answers - real answers - you will need to have a mature and productive conversation with him. Not chew him out by text while he's with a friend. Not ignore him when he gets in touch. Neither of those options is going to serve you any purpose other than prolonging your anger and anxiety. If you come out swinging or stonewall him, you are definitely not going to get the result you want: clarity on his feelings. I’m sorry you’re sad. This… don’t play games! Message him that you want to meet to talk and tell him what you’ve told us. I feel like more games will only lead to more confusion/ego battle. I find it hard to believe he doesn’t know his behavior is sub par, but who knows You have to be prepared to lose people who aren’t right for you to make room for someone who is Edited July 4, 2021 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 24 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He thinks sending breakfast is ok to excuse himself He told you friends were visiting so why didn't you go with your friends family? Sadly yes, he's avoiding you. What did he send for breakfast? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said: Message him that you want to meet to talk and tell him what you’ve told us. Wait until his visitors leave. Don't confront in a huff and of course his friends will tell him you're acting crazy. Cool your heels first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: How do you feel about us? Britney, he feels about you the way he treats you. You don't need to interogate him. You need to make that realization for yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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