stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: We watched movies at his place After waiting all week and all day to see him how exciting for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, stillafool said: After waiting all week and all day to see him how exciting for you. I saw him Friday. He took me out. When did I say I didnt see him whole week? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Crazelnut said: Jeez, Britney, it's only Tuesday! Give him a chance to make plans for the weekend. And stop listening to the doomsayers on here. They've got you convinced he's a passive aggressive jerk who's playing the field. Maybe he's just not a planner. Not everybody plans their weekend a week in advance! No one has said or even suggested he is a "passive aggressive jerk;" what's relevant here is that Britney herself, admittedly is not happy with the level of attention this man chooses to give her, she is forced to do all the initiating, in her mind, he has been evasive and confusing. As such, she is unhappy, anxious, insecure and basically feels like crap. Have you read the thread? Another woman may be perfectly OK with how he treats her, but Britney is not. THAT is what's important. Not what another women needs and expects but what SHE needs and expects in order to feel happy. As such the best thing for her to do is end the relationship and find a man more compatible. Not manipulate by withholding sex or "pulling back" in an effort to fit a square peg into round hole, NOT gonna work! Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Ok so what is he filling his time up with when he isn't at work? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 27 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I did . He asked if I'm hiding something. I said no. I explained to him my culture and he said Ok he's gonna drop the doubts. That's a weird question. How come he's allowed to ask offensive questions like this one (whether you're "hiding something") but you're not allowed to do the same? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Ok so what is he filling his time up with when he isn't at work? Why does it matter? He is a lawyer. He does lawyer events. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 21 minutes ago, Crazelnut said: Jeez, Britney, it's only Tuesday! Give him a chance to make plans for the weekend. And stop listening to the doomsayers on here. They've got you convinced he's a passive aggressive jerk who's playing the field. Maybe he's just not a planner. Not everybody plans their weekend a week in advance! She already knows whether or not he's a planner, to wit: he was a planner, all this time, up until this sudden leaving town thing and then having a "friend" he won't name in to see him and his being unable to therefore see her. (Because after all...it's impossible to see a friend and girlfriend at the same time or something...) She KNOWS what he's like, or has been like, through this relationship and she knows that has changed, which is an important element you're leaving out. If they'd always been this casual and non-committal together then I'm sure the answers would be different. BTW, it wasn't "the doomsayers" who brought up the possibility of his being passive-aggressive. Britney did. And she's the one who knows him, if you'll recall. We don't. Edited July 6, 2021 by CaliforniaGirl Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 2 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Why does it matter? He is a lawyer. He does lawyer events. Lawyer events??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Lawyer events??? Dinners, meeting yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: She already knows whether or not he's a planner, to wit: he was a planner, all this time, up until this sudden leaving town thing and then having a "friend" he won't name in to see him and his being unable to therefore see her. (Because after all...it's impossible to see a friend and girlfriend at the same time or something...) She KNOWS what he's like, or has been like, through this relationship and she knows that has changed, which is an important element you're leaving out. If they'd always been this casual and non-committal together then I'm sure the answers would be different. Yes but I'm waiting to see this week if after our conversation he will be the same as he was before. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: does he really want to come inside my house. I just dont get why he is so hanged up about that. Could be real because keeping how you live/your family a secret for 4 mos. is strange. Or could be an exit excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Yes but I'm waiting to see this week if after our conversation he will be the same as he was before. Okay, I see. Yet already you're saying he isn't the same as he was before - in fact you're irritated that he didn't mention meeting up and now you have to wait again. You wait and you wait and you wait. And on his terms, you hear from him, or not...with crumbs and a placating word or two and not much action...now you're waiting again. How can this be okay? Read through this thread. It's 27 pages of agony and desperation to somehow do the "right" thing to turn him back into what he was before. I'm just saying, it's doubtful he'll "turn back into what he was before" since this has worked out fine for him. He can see "friends from out of town," he can ignore when you VERY OBVIOUSLY just want ONE simple answer and you'll keep running back to him and when he finally snaps his fingers you sleep with him. And then you go back to waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 11 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He is a lawyer. He does lawyer events. That explains a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Is there a way to add a poll to this? 1. Guy will make plans for Friday and Saturday with Britney (reach out to her by Thursday afternoon the latest to make plans for Friday night). 2. Guy will not make plans for Friday and Saturday, but will send her a single emoji text Wednesday night with a poop emoji. 3. Guy will not text unprompted for the rest of the week. Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 @Britney25, your situation is starting to sound like one I was in some years back. It was easily the most confusing relationship I was ever in. To date, I do not know what he actually wanted. Maybe he wanted us to break up but didnt want to be the bad guy. Or maybe he wanted us to stay together (with me insecure and uncertain of my place in his life). I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what his intentions were. What matters is that passive aggression, stonewalling, and avoidance did not translate into a healthy relationship and did considerable psychological damage to me. The relationship had to end. In hindsight, I'm glad it ended. I'm wondering if you will eventually find yourself in a similar place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 13 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Could be real because keeping how you live/your family a secret for 4 mos. is strange. Or could be an exit excuse. Not a secret. He spoke with my Mom over the phone. Why the hell is he in a rush to see my place? Meet parents? Does he want to purpose?? Otherwise its weird. He is dating me not them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 11 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: That explains a lot. Explain Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 5 minutes ago, Acacia98 said: @Britney25, your situation is starting to sound like one I was in some years back. It was easily the most confusing relationship I was ever in. To date, I do not know what he actually wanted. Maybe he wanted us to break up but didnt want to be the bad guy. Or maybe he wanted us to stay together (with me insecure and uncertain of my place in his life). I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter what his intentions were. What matters is that passive aggression, stonewalling, and avoidance did not translate into a healthy relationship and did considerable psychological damage to me. The relationship had to end. In hindsight, I'm glad it ended. I'm wondering if you will eventually find yourself in a similar place. Agreed and seconded. Take it from the ladies of forum, and save yourself years. I looked at my own posts and I have lost 8 years to dead end relationships that have done significant damage. This sort of stuff will damage you. Soon you will be wondering what is wrong with you that you are not enough for him. He will never be back to the guy he was at the beginning. You know why? He was never the guy he was at the beginning. He is and always was the guy he is now. That's the guy. Do you want to have a relationship with this netflix and chill guy who is too busy to see his girlfriend on 4th of July? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 13 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Okay, I see. Yet already you're saying he isn't the same as he was before - in fact you're irritated that he didn't mention meeting up and now you have to wait again. You wait and you wait and you wait. And on his terms, you hear from him, or not...with crumbs and a placating word or two and not much action...now you're waiting again. How can this be okay? Read through this thread. It's 27 pages of agony and desperation to somehow do the "right" thing to turn him back into what he was before. I'm just saying, it's doubtful he'll "turn back into what he was before" since this has worked out fine for him. He can see "friends from out of town," he can ignore when you VERY OBVIOUSLY just want ONE simple answer and you'll keep running back to him and when he finally snaps his fingers you sleep with him. And then you go back to waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting. That's the thing thou. He does text me everyday. Sometimes twice a day. There's never a day he missed on texting me. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: That's the thing thou. He does text me everyday. Sometimes twice a day. There's never a day he missed on texting me. Look up e-tethering. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, AnnieB said: Agreed and seconded. Take it from the ladies of forum, and save yourself years. I looked at my own posts and I have lost 8 years to dead end relationships that have done significant damage. This sort of stuff will damage you. Soon you will be wondering what is wrong with you that you are not enough for him. He will never be back to the guy he was at the beginning. You know why? He was never the guy he was at the beginning. He is and always was the guy he is now. That's the guy. Do you want to have a relationship with this netflix and chill guy who is too busy to see his girlfriend on 4th of July? Yeah....you are right. Maybe that is the real him. Maybe that's why he didn't introduce me yet to his parents either. He keeps complaining his Mom is this and that, but maybe he is scared she will tell me the truth. I guess I forgive people easily because I truly want to believe he does care for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Not a secret. He spoke with my Mom over the phone. Why the hell is he in a rush to see my place? Meet parents? Does he want to purpose?? Otherwise its weird. He is dating me not them. You are thinking like you. Not the rest of the US. Dating someone 4 mos. who does not invite into their home is a deal breaker. It's BS to use the excuse 'he talked to my mother, he's not dating them'. You are keeping someone at arms length for a reason you won't be honest about and hide behind the "culture" excuse. For example your family was away and you Still refused to invite him to your home or let him inside. He probably thinks you are hiding something like a hoarding problem or rundown place or whatever. That may have been why he's sick of all this. Or maybe he decided to treat you with the same nonsense you seem to be using on him? Edited July 6, 2021 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, AnnieB said: Look up e-tethering. I read the definition and it doesnt sound like what we have. We do see each other. When I initiate a meet up he never says no.. he asked me out last Thursday for Friday. I never go 3 weeks without seeing him. I think you guys misinterpret what I'm saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: You are thinking like you. Not the rest of the US. Dating someone 4 mos. who des not invite into their home is a deal breaker. It's BS to use the excuse 'he talked to my mother, he's not dating them'. You are keeping someone at arms length for a reason you won't be honest about and hide behind the "culture " excuse. For example your family was away and you Still refused to invite him to your home or let him inside. That may have been why he's sick of all this. So why wouldn't he dump me if it bothers him that much???? He is free to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: So why wouldn't he dump me if it bothers him that much???? He is free to go. Asked and answered. He's doing the slow fade so you pull the plug. He must know your temperament by now, no? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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