Am I crazy to think this?

[Britney25]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Because it's saccharine BS and making himself look good in anything traceable.

(He's an attorney, right?) so just a habit of his. Maybe he's had his tires slashed before, who knows?

Let's face it, he's a dipstick, but a clever dipstick.

The type who knows how to infuriate someone with sugar coated crap, once they realize it's sugar coated crap..

 

And??? I should be scared of him? In fact I should sue him for psychological damage. I know where he lives. Ha!

[poppyfields]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I was tossed away after 6 months, without a word. I sent angry emails that were left unanswered. All it did was delay my moving on. I didn't want to accept it was over untill he told me it was over. That's what brought me to LS in 2014. I was filled with anger for a full year, I wish I had handled it differently. 

I would have sent ONE message expressing myself and then blocked.  And I would have felt better for having done so.

Would not have cared what he thought about it either.

 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by poppyfields

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I was tossed away after 6 months, without a word. I sent angry emails that were left unanswered. All it did was delay my moving on. I didn't want to accept it was over untill he told me it was over. That's what brought me to LS in 2014. I was filled with anger for a full year, I wish I had handled it differently. 

I understand what you went through BUT I'm not going to send multiple messages if he doesnt answer me. I will leave it at that. Maybe you dont believe me but that's all I want to do.

[Gaeta]

Just now, Britney25 said:

I understand what you went through BUT I'm not going to send multiple messages if he doesnt answer me. I will leave it at that. Maybe you dont believe me but that's all I want to do.

You don't have to convince us it's the right thing to do. If you feel the need to do it, go ahead and do it. You are allowed to do anything you wish or need to do to find your answers. We will be here for you no matter how this conversation goes. 

[Britney25]

3 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, don't call him a player. Don't accuse. Just tell him that how he treated YOU was wrong. People here have got your head filled up with accusations and such. Focus on his behavior to YOU and how it made you feel and why it was wrong and disrespectful. Focus on the real problem, not speculation about him. What he DID to you was wrong. THAT is what you are calling him out on.

Yes thank you. I will gather my thoughts on what I want to say to him later and will do that.

[poppyfields]

4 minutes ago, Crazelnut said:

Brit, don't call him a player. Don't accuse. Just tell him that how he treated YOU was wrong. People here have got your head filled up with accusations and such. 

That's not true, I am certainly not.  In fact the opposite, I advised to express her feelings in a healthy way, NO mud-slinging OR name calling, serves no purpose.

Be honest, speak your truth, from your heart.

You can still show anger while being respectful.

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by poppyfields

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

BUT I'm not going to send multiple messages if he doesnt answer me.

That's why you should call him if you're going to do it so you say your piece, get your answers and not have to expect a reply text that may not be coming.  

[Amanda92]

Britney start thinking about you! He doesn't treat you okay. No matter what was in the beginning. No Birthday wish!!! He will invite you and you will have sex with him again, right?! If you don't like the way someone treat you, just break up. Stop waiting for him. You are an adult that should care about themselves and make decisions!

You were dating, he liked you and he stopped. He is not brave enough to tell you that, but he just doesn't want you in his life. If someone treat you like that you walk away instead of thinking of your amazing Birthday and sex... People love each other, then stop and just break up. It's normal, move on girl.

[glows]

16 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Yes thank you. I will gather my thoughts on what I want to say to him later and will do that.

Ok. Let us know how it goes. You’re much stronger than this. 

[Britney25]

13 minutes ago, Amanda92 said:

Britney start thinking about you! He doesn't treat you okay. No matter what was in the beginning. No Birthday wish!!! He will invite you and you will have sex with him again, right?! If you don't like the way someone treat you, just break up. Stop waiting for him. You are an adult that should care about themselves and make decisions!

You were dating, he liked you and he stopped. He is not brave enough to tell you that, but he just doesn't want you in his life. If someone treat you like that you walk away instead of thinking of your amazing Birthday and sex... People love each other, then stop and just break up. It's normal, move on girl.

No bday wish but I will call him out on his behavior. 

[Wiseman2]

46 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I will gather my thoughts on what I want to say to him later and will do that.

This is like déjà vu . You did this same exact meltdown and confrontation a week ago. 

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

This is like déjà vu . You did this same exact meltdown and confrontation a week ago. 

BUT you got me all wrong. It wasn't a meltdown when I talked with him. It was a calm chat. He told me how he felt and so did I. Nothing aggressive. 

[jspice]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

I doubt this, Poppy. I know nobody except a couple of divorced drama kings and one serial cheater (female) who think no arguing is cause for boredom cheating.

And it’s blaming the OP for her dick of a boyfriend’s bad behaviour. 
He cheated on you because you were boring and didn’t argue with him. 
 

If a man needs me to be angry to get him to act right he can get to stepping. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

It wasn't a meltdown when I talked with him. It was a calm chat. He told me how he felt and so did I. Nothing aggressive. 

Sure. Once he picked you up to "talk" you were calm. But when he didn't invite you for the forth you went ballistic in your mind.

Same here. If he agrees to meet  you'll be "calm" and he'll be  saccharine, just like before. 

[Britney25]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Sure. Once he picked you up to "talk" you were calm. But when he didn't invite you for the forth you went ballistic in your mind.

Same here. If he agrees to meet  you'll be "calm" and he'll be  saccharine, just like before. 

How do you know what he's going to do? He might not want to meet at all. I'm not asking him to meet and talk. This time I'm going to call.

[poppyfields]

11 minutes ago, jspice said:

And it’s blaming the OP for her dick of a boyfriend’s bad behaviour. 
He cheated on you because you were boring and didn’t argue with him. 
 

If a man needs me to be angry to get him to act right he can get to stepping. 

I am only speculating, but no, it's not that Brit was boring, the RL became boring, it had no spice, no passion.  He was part of that equation too, it takes two after all.  He never spoke up either, never argued with her either.

Granted, some couples don't want that type of RL with spice and passion, no arguments, any and all negative emotions suppressed, smooth sailing.

My parents had that type of marriage which ended in divorce.

My dad told me he felt DEAD while in the marriage; with his new wife, my stepmom, it was completely different, how they related and interacted with each other was completely different from how my dad and mom related.

My step mom spoke up, she was feisty, independent, had a mind of her own and never hesitated to voice any emotion, ever.  Positive, negative or in between.  She became the love of my dad's life!

Relationships don't end because of one person, they end because of both people, again how they relate to and interact with each other - their particular dynamic.

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by poppyfields

[Amanda92]

I think I would send a message. He doesn't want to see you and have contact with you, so you may not pick up.

[poppyfields]

12 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

BUT you got me all wrong. It wasn't a meltdown when I talked with him. It was a calm chat. He told me how he felt and so did I. Nothing aggressive. 

Brit, no one is suggesting you be "aggressive."

Express your feelings, even if it's anger, in healthy way.

 

[stillafool]

6 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

This time I'm going to call.

I think this is best and if he doesn't pick up she can send the message.

 

[Wiseman2]

You can call, text send smoke signals, whatever, but the result is the same. It's over.

By doing this you are letting him know that while you meant very little to him he was your whole world. Talk about ego boost...for him.

You on the other hand will have your momentary release, then still feel like hell, probably worse..

[poppyfields]

6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

You on the other hand will have your momentary release, then still feel like hell, probably worse..

The couple of times I did it, I didn't feel like hell afterwards, I felt empowered!  And that stayed with me and is STILL with me.

Like I said, didn't give a rat's ass what he thought, whether he got an ego boost or whatever.

If you care what someone is going to think about it, and/or if you don't receive the type of response you expect to receive, DO NOT DO IT.

Your reasons are not coming from a good sincere place.

Again, when someone wrongs you or disrespects you, you speak up for YOU because expressing yourself feels GOOD, is healthy and empowering, reflects self-respect imo.

 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by poppyfields

[jspice]

15 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

I am only speculating, but no, it's not that Brit was boring, the RL became boring, it had no spice, no passion.  He was part of that equation too, it takes two after all.  He never spoke up either, never argued with her either.

Granted, some couples don't want that type of RL with spice and passion, no arguments, any and all negative emotions suppressed, smooth sailing.

My parents had that type of marriage which ended in divorce.

My dad told me he felt DEAD while in the marriage; with his new wife, my stepmom, it was completely different, how they related and interacted with each other was completely different from how my dad and mom related.

My step mom spoke up, she was feisty, independent, had a mind of her own and never hesitated to voice any emotion, ever.  Positive, negative or in between.  She became the love of my dad's life!

Relationships don't end because of one person, they end because of both people, again how they relate to and interact with each other - their particular dynamic.

 

Just because someone doesn’t want to fight or argue or get angry it doesn’t mean they’re suppressing their emotions. You really should think before you type.  
 

Now you say you’re “speculating “ but you riled her up like it was facts you were talking about. 
What’s right for your family is clearly not right for everyone else. What’s right for you isn’t right for everyone. 

[poppyfields]

3 minutes ago, jspice said:

Just because someone doesn’t want to fight or argue or get angry it doesn’t mean they’re suppressing their emotions. You really should think before you type.  
Now you say you’re “speculating “ but you riled her up like it was facts you were talking about. 
What’s right for your family is clearly not right for everyone else. What’s right for you isn’t right for everyone. 

jspice, I absolutely DO NOT want to get into this with you, but me thinks you need to stop telling me how or what to post or "type."

Just because you have a different opinion from me that does not mean I don't think before I type.

That remark was uncalled for.

I respect your opinion, although I often don't agree, and would appreciate your respecting mine when YOU don't agree.

Thank you.

 

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by poppyfields

[Pumpernickel]

3 hours ago, Britney25 said:

He wrote a break up message to you? At least you got something. My is silent.

Only because I confronted him, after I hadn’t heard from him for multiple days. Had I not reached out at all, we might still be “together” (with less and less communication, which would’ve eventually fizzled out). 

[jspice]

12 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

jspice, I absolutely DO NOT want to get into this with you, but me thinks you need to stop telling me how or what to post or "type."

Just because you have a different opinion from me that does not mean I don't think before I type.

That remark was uncalled for.

I respect your opinion, although I often don't agree, and would appreciate your respecting mine when YOU don't agree.

Thank you.

 

 

The same goes for you