poppyfields Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, jspice said: The same goes for you Fair point.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 12, 2021 Author Share Posted July 12, 2021 25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: You can call, text send smoke signals, whatever, but the result is the same. It's over. By doing this you are letting him know that while you meant very little to him he was your whole world. Talk about ego boost...for him. You on the other hand will have your momentary release, then still feel like hell, probably worse.. This is NOT about boosting his ego. You didn't really convince me to not message him. I am not expecting an answer but he will read my text. He wasn't some random dude. He was my boyfriend. To me that's different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 12, 2021 Author Share Posted July 12, 2021 2 hours ago, clia said: Do you think he doesn't know what he's doing? I just don't really understand what you hope to achieve by "calling him out." His lack of communication is communication. He knows exactly what he's doing. And I disagree that taking the hint and treating him exactly the way he's treating you -- i.e., no further contact -- is being passive. But if you truly think it will give you closure to "call him out," then go for it. But what will likely happen is you will come across a little nuts and he will think "Wow, glad I dodged that bullet." And he likely won't even respond to you and you will end up feeling worse. (Ask me how I know!) Oh, and this situation is not even comparable to a husband. You dated this guy for four months and never even met each other's families. Don't make it more serious than it really was. He spoke with my Mom. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 What time do you plan to call him Britney? Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted July 12, 2021 Share Posted July 12, 2021 27 minutes ago, Britney25 said: This is NOT about boosting his ego. You didn't really convince me to not message him. I am not expecting an answer but he will read my text. He wasn't some random dude. He was my boyfriend. To me that's different. Just do whatever feels natural to you. Whatever response will enable to not facepalm the next morning is the one you should go with. i agree he’s incredibly disrespectful ( to say the least) and even after 4 months you deserve more than the slow fade. Close the door however you want to but make sure it stays closed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 12, 2021 Author Share Posted July 12, 2021 21 minutes ago, stillafool said: What time do you plan to call him Britney? Soon. I'm not home yet. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 Ok well he won't pick up so I just texted him...... Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda92 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 What did you text him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, Amanda92 said: What did you text him? I asked him why is he silent. That he is not who I thought he was. That I'm disappointed he cant even tell me what's going on and that he is being disrespectful to me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 @Britney25 What an ass. I am so sorry. Trust me, I can relate. Keep us posted either way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 It sounds like you are looking for a response from him to tell you what's going on. This is truth-seeking then? I thought you were going to call him out and tell him what a useless sack of potatoes he is. If you're looking for a break up or for him to spell it out for you that it's not working, it probably won't happen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 minute ago, glows said: It sounds like you are looking for a response from him to tell you what's going on. This is truth-seeking then? I thought you were going to call him out and tell him what a useless sack of potatoes he is. If you're looking for a break up or for him to spell it out for you that it's not working, it probably won't happen. I did call him out for being disrespectful to me. I'm not going to start and name call him. I told him is not a real Man. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: I did call him out for being disrespectful to me. I'm not going to start and name call him. I told him is not a real Man. Yet you're emasculating him? That's no different. How do you feel after you texted the above? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 On 6/27/2021 at 5:47 PM, Britney25 said: True. I know. I just feel something's off lately. Kindly, I think what's off is you as you have lost your balance in thus relationship. It's easy to do in the intial heady rush of a relationship...BUT it's also normal for a guy to pull back a little to regain his own identity after a lot of together time. This is the time to refocus your energy on YOU! Get busy working out, hobbies, your friends, your personal tasks that need your attention. Take your mind off him, put it on you, and he'll be back aroumd soon enough. No guy wants to feel needy, clingy energy, which is certainly what you'll be putting forth if you keep an obsessive focus on him rather than refocusing on you. It's not his job to fill you up, it's yours! You should read Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray, PhD. He addresses thus exact topic of when a man pulls back. Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Oh crap. I just read the rest of your thread. 😔 This isn't going to go over well I'm afraid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 11 minutes ago, glows said: Yet you're emasculating him? That's no different. How do you feel after you texted the above? I told him he is not the Man I thought he is. A Man of character. I dont think that demasculating him. Omg no matter what I do you seem to criticize it. Damn. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 5 minutes ago, HadMeOverABarrel said: Kindly, I think what's off is you as you have lost your balance in thus relationship. It's easy to do in the intial heady rush of a relationship...BUT it's also normal for a guy to pull back a little to regain his own identity after a lot of together time. This is the time to refocus your energy on YOU! Get busy working out, hobbies, your friends, your personal tasks that need your attention. Take your mind off him, put it on you, and he'll be back aroumd soon enough. No guy wants to feel needy, clingy energy, which is certainly what you'll be putting forth if you keep an obsessive focus on him rather than refocusing on you. It's not his job to fill you up, it's yours! You should read Mars and Venus on a Date by John Gray, PhD. He addresses thus exact topic of when a man pulls back. But everyone is saying he did not pull back but ghosted me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 4 minutes ago, HadMeOverABarrel said: Oh crap. I just read the rest of your thread. 😔 This isn't going to go over well I'm afraid. Ya Link to post Share on other sites
HadMeOverABarrel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 On 6/28/2021 at 3:41 PM, Britney25 said: But what if he asks me out last minute? Should I say yes? Should I allow that? Sometimes he does do that and sometimes I say yes depending on my day. So I'm still reading through your thread. In response to this, you should move in the way that is comfortable for you. Example: I went out with a guy a couple weeks ago. He asked in advance. The outing was fine. Then, on Friday he called at around 4:30pm. I didn't answer because I was resting. He followed up with a text asking me out that night to meet at 8:00pm. I got it at about 6:00pm. I didn't' feel like rushing to get ready plus I was slightly annoyed at the last minute request. I suggested I'd be available the following evening. We didn't make plans. I haven't heard from him. He or I will call the other probably sometime this week. I'm trying to give you an example of how you can make this work without so much intensity and anxiety. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 (edited) 5 hours ago, poppyfields said: Yeah I agree, I think he stopped caring too... but that still shouldn't prevent her from expressing her feelings, even if again it means a bit of anger. Who knows, maybe it will light a fire under his butt; DON'T get angry for that reason, as a strategy, but damn if you're pissed off, nothing wrong with expressing that, hell it's human. Yes. It sounds like a slow fade. In which case, it's good to address the fade directly and get to the bottom of things. Sometimes people need that push (i.e. her boyfriend) other times people are just jerks and a tongue-lashing is needed. Edited July 13, 2021 by Alpaca 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 This afternoon l almost suggested you block your number before calling.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, Gaeta said: This afternoon l almost suggested you block your number before calling.... Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Why? So he doesn't know you're the one calling. You don't think he didn't pick up because he knew it was you? Edited July 13, 2021 by Gaeta 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda92 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Block him now to stop waiting for the answer. Start deciding. Do you want people like this in your life? No? So just walk away and don't ask him why he doesn't care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 57 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I told him he is not the Man I thought he is. A Man of character. I dont think that demasculating him. Omg no matter what I do you seem to criticize it. Damn. Britney, I did not criticize you but I'm sorry if that's how it was read or came across. You wanted to text him and I said that it doesn't matter whether you do or you don't. It's what you do after the fact that counts. Some have pointed out that the waiting period and his answers that come afterwards will just throw you in for a loop all over again. The exercise of texting him initially was to wish him a happy birthday. Instead it's become a question of 'what's going on' and you said he is not a real man. Yes, this is emasculating someone and insulting him. A person is either going to be 1) kind of ticked off or 2) put off that you're needing so much reassurance. In his mind he's coming off as if everything is all right (and paying you lip service with the breadcrumbs). To you, things are falling apart. I suggest you stop looking for answers from this person. If you wanted to call him out on lacking character that is fine but looking to him for answers is completely futile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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