Am I crazy to think this?

[Alpacalia]

4 hours ago, Britney25 said:

I would like him to show me he's crazy about me I guess. Like asking me to stay over a weekend...showing me he likes my company for more than a couple of hrs.

Understandable.

Have you ever spent the night together or spent more than a few hours with him during the day? What are your schedules like otherwise?

There is "something" that is making you uneasy, so you will need to try to get to the bottom of what is causing it.

[Britney25]

16 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Understandable.

Have you ever spent the night together or spent more than a few hours with him during the day? What are your schedules like otherwise?

There is "something" that is making you uneasy, so you will need to try to get to the bottom of what is causing it.

What if he doesn't invite me anywhere on the 4th? I don't even know if we are seeing each other tomorrow. 

[Britney25]

6 hours ago, glows said:

Understandable. If he's been divorced he may be playing the field so take it easy with this guy. He may not be for you in the end. From what I'm reading he's respecting your space and no longer asking you to keep things at his place because there's no sense in it if you keep declining. Don't play mind games. If you mean something just do it and don't look for him to keep asking you to affirm whether he likes you or not. 

Since you aren't sure whether he's lost interest completely just chill and do other things and give him space to come to you.

Yeah I dont even know if we are spending the 4th together.  He just asked me what am I doing as he is supposed to meet his friend but doesnt know yet what time. Is that supposed to mean hes gonna be busy with his friend and not see me? Ugh

[Alpacalia]

3 hours ago, Britney25 said:

What if he doesn't invite me anywhere on the 4th? I don't even know if we are seeing each other tomorrow. 

Does he always choose the activities in which you take part, or does he leave you hanging at the last minute?

You're nothing more than a time filler if he has nothing better to do and just meets you when it's convenient for him.

Given that you spend several days with each other during the week, it's difficult to say whether or not this is accurate.

Determine what you actually need in a relationship and communicate what your future expectations for the relationship are, but don't expect him to be your source of happiness.

A partner who is willing to try new ways to express their affection for you is more likely to meet you halfway than one who is hesitant.

[Britney25]

27 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Does he always choose the activities in which you take part, or does he leave you hanging at the last minute?

You're nothing more than a time filler if he has nothing better to do and just meets you when it's convenient for him.

Given that you spend several days with each other during the week, it's difficult to say whether or not this is accurate.

Determine what you actually need in a relationship and communicate what your future expectations for the relationship are, but don't expect him to be your source of happiness.

A partner who is willing to try new ways to express their affection for you is more likely to meet you halfway than one who is hesitant.

Sometimes he asks me out day off. He wasn't like this at the beginning. 

[Alpacalia]

26 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Sometimes he asks me out day off. He wasn't like this at the beginning. 

Okay.

Consider what you truly desire in a relationship. What changes do you want to see, and do you think they'd be enough if they were made? Then you might say what you hope to get out of it in the future.

Keep in mind that you have complete control over what you do. If it looks that this romance isn't providing you with the level of support that you believe you are providing it, it's time to move on

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Sometimes he asks me out day off. He wasn't like this at the beginning. 

He's already designed an escape loophole about some friends may be visiting.

Enjoy the holidays with your own friends and family. Something happened while he was away on his trip.

It seems he's tiptoeing out to avoid drama.

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's already designed an escape loophole about some friends may be visiting.

I have to say, this is my impression too, as far spending the holiday together. 

I think I would proceed with your own plans, OP. Call up some friends or family to see if they want to get together. 

[Britney25]

4 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I have to say, this is my impression too, as far spending the holiday together. 

I think I would proceed with your own plans, OP. Call up some friends or family to see if they want to get together. 

He sent me breakfast today and just said thinking of you. Then I said have fun with your friend and he said thanks babe. Omg you gals were right. He rather spend 4th of July with his friend?!!!! 

[Britney25]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

He's already designed an escape loophole about some friends may be visiting.

Enjoy the holidays with your own friends and family. Something happened while he was away on his trip.

It seems he's tiptoeing out to avoid drama.

Yep you are so right. He sent me breakfast and I texted to thank him. He just said thinking of you. I texted back have fun work your friend and he said thank you babe. Wtf?!! I'm not sure if I should proceed about telling him off today..tomorrow is better right?! How should I tell him that I am sad he didnt choose to spend today with me. 

[Britney25]

19 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

To me, the issue isn’t as much about who invites who or if this is clingy , as it is about how he was acting really clingy, and now he won’t see you for more than a couple hours, no more weekend stay overs, no more talk of relationship moving forward. Two clingy people and your golden, but some people act that way at the beginning, but they burn out on it/lose interest in it after some time.  Your guy has pulled back and you’re not crazy for noticing that IMO.  With my  clingy/ bf’s, had 4 mo in they stopped, it’d be strange 

 

Bad news is that when someone is pulling back, it’s typically an overall indication of how they’re feeling about the rship. He probably isn’t asking to spend a whole weekend anymore  bc he doesn’t want to. Why ? Hard to say, but would the answer really be helpful? Probably not. The only thing that would be is renewing the overall interest, but that can be tricky. I

Girl he chose his friend over me!! Like wtf? He sent me breakfast thinking I won't get mad at him. Spoke with him today that's how I know hes with his friend. How should I bring this convo with him up? Probably not today but tomorrow yes. I'm sad.

[Britney25]

21 hours ago, earlgreymuffin said:

I'm sorry you had to go through that. As I've said before,similar to others in the previous post, you need to just relax and understand this is just how relationships work. Sometimes, things loosen up and become more comfortable, that doesn't mean he likes you any less. Especially only four months in. I get that you are anxious about this relationship, and maybe this is something you need to work out with a therapist. 

He chose his friend over me. I can't believe it. I'm so sad. I mean shouldn't he spend it with me? It would be our first. Especially when he doesnt have family in town. 

[stillafool]

Yes he should spend the 4th with you.  Why can't you go along with him?  Does his friend(s) have gfs and won't they want to be with them on this holiday?

[Britney25]

5 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Yes he should spend the 4th with you.  Why can't you go along with him?  Does his friend(s) have gfs and won't they want to be with them on this holiday?

I have no idea why. At this point I'm not sure if it's a lady friend or what.  I don't even know what they are doing since the friend flew into town.

How should I proceed? Should I tell him something today or is tomorrow better. How would you word it?

[stillafool]

I'm sorry I haven't read all the last updates of your thread, but have you talked to him yesterday or this morning?  When did he tell you about the friend coming into town?  Where is the friend staying?  What activities have the planned?  What about later tonight to watch fireworks?

[Britney25]

2 minutes ago, stillafool said:

I'm sorry I haven't read all the last updates of your thread, but have you talked to him yesterday or this morning?  When did he tell you about the friend coming into town?  Where is the friend staying?  What activities have the planned?  What about later tonight to watch fireworks?

I talked with him this morning. He sent me breakfast. I thanked him and asked what his plans are. He said hes meeting with a friend. I said ok have fun. He said thinking of you and thanks babe. Why would he think of me when I live 10min from him.  Does he think sending me breakfast wont make me angry?! 

I dont know who's the friend or what they are doing. Hes not watching fireworks tonight. 

I'm so sad and angry. I mean I know it's not Valentine's day but still this holiday should be spent together especially if he thinks something of me.

How would you proceed?

[Britney25]

Please someone tell me what to do? I'm very sad about this and disappointed. 

[Gaeta]

Pardon my ignorance but lt's beyond me why a woman would want to breakup with a good boyfriend over 4th of July. It's not like it's your graduation day, or your birthday! It's just a national holiday! Calm down a bit.

[Britney25]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Pardon my ignorance but lt's beyond me why a woman would want to breakup with a good boyfriend over 4th of July. It's not like it's your graduation day, or your birthday! It's just a national holiday! Calm down a bit.

Well because some on here suggested he should be spending this major holiday with me. He chose a friend over me. Not even inviting me. Isn't that a red flag? I dont even know at this point if he's a good boyfriend either. He sent me breakfast just so I wont be angry most likely.

Edited July 4, 2021 by Britney25

[stillafool]

Did he even ask you what your plans are today?  It seems he's being a bit vague to me.  I don't think you should say anything to him about this just make other plans for today.  If he is your bf I can understand your being hurt and disappointed he couldn't find a way to include you in some of his plans.  To want to spend this time with you.  Brittany you need to ask him more questions so you don't have to guess what's going on.

[Gaeta]

8 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Well because some on here suggested he should be spending this major holiday with me. 

I'm not American. I spent Canada Day doing laundry and errands.

Is 4th of July bigger than your Thanks Giving?

[Britney25]

1 minute ago, stillafool said:

Did he even ask you what your plans are today?  It seems he's being a bit vague to me.  I don't think you should say anything to him about this just make other plans for today.  If he is your bf I can understand your being hurt and disappointed he couldn't find a way to include you in some of his plans.  To want to spend this time with you.  Brittany you need to ask him more questions so you don't have to guess what's going on.

That's the thing he didn't even ask me what my plans are. Everything is very vague. So then why send me the breakfast? As an apology so I wouldn't think anything of it? He thinks I'm that dumb? If he does check in on me today I will ignore him. Would you bring it up tomorrow?

[Britney25]

Just now, Gaeta said:

I'm not American. I spent Canada Day doing laundry and errands.

Is 4th of July bigger than your Thanks Giving?

No it's not bigger than Thanksgiving but it is a holiday were one should spend with their love ones or significant other. 

[stillafool]

1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

Would you bring it up tomorrow?

No.  As a matter of fact I would ignore his ass for a while.  You've been waiting to see him and he sends a breakfast over to let you know he's thinking about you but won't be seeing you in person.  I think this is your cue to pull way back on him and let him do some chasing if he's interested.

[stillafool]

When you do speak again I would tell him how you felt about not being included in his 4th of July plans since you two are supposed to be a couple.  I would be hurt also.