Author Britney25 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 5 minutes ago, introverted1 said: How will you get home if you end up breaking up? Are you expecting him to drive you? Do you drive? Uber 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Uber Good. You have a plan for the conversation and a backup plan for getting home. Deep breath and good luck. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Good to hear. Let us know how it goes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: Uber Doubt you'll breakup or have to get a ride home. You got your invitation to see him later, so the weekend isn't a total write-off. This may recur if he has plans with his own friends, so consider making plans with your own friends and family more. Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda92 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Doubt you'll breakup or have to get a ride home. You got your invitation to see him later, so the weekend isn't a total write-off. This may recur if he has plans with his own friends, so consider making plans with your own friends and family more. Seriously? If you are in a relationship and you have busy weekend you just say it to your gf/bf, right? He doesn't care about this relationship at all... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Just now, Amanda92 said: If you are in a relationship and you have busy weekend you just say it to your gf/bf, right? He doesn't care about this relationship at all... Agree. But that doesn't mean a breakup is pending. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 35 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Doubt you'll breakup or have to get a ride home. You got your invitation to see him later, so the weekend isn't a total write-off. This may recur if he has plans with his own friends, so consider making plans with your own friends and family more. But this is not really only about him meeting his friend, this is really about 4 weeks of him introducing distance, so much so Britney had to initiate almost all of their meet ups, (including this one tonight), culminating in him meeting a friend for the 4th of July, leaving the OP high and dry... She assumed she would be meeting her BOYFRIEND on the 4th of JULY.. like any GIRLFRIEND might assume, but she was totally wrong... This guy is not 22,a bit clueless and selfish, he is 40, he knew perfectly well Britney would expect him to be available on the 4th... He didn't care what she thought and he did what he wanted to do and he let her down badly... I guess he is daring her to split up with him. I don't think Britney is ready to split up, not yet anyway and he won't have the gumption to do it, so the saga will continue... My guess he is conflict avoidant, he wants out, has done for weeks, but he wants Britney to pull the plug, he won't want to be seen as the bad guy. He will make things increasingly difficult until Britney can't stand it any longer and breaks up with him... He may or may not have another love interest. These conflict avoidant guys often end up with two women, whilst they try to sort out the mess their conflict avoidance has created. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Yep, unfortunately she’s going to get dragged through a lot more crap before she realizes her prince is a frog 😞 3 3 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 *ribbit* See how it goes. B, it looks like you're starting to see him for what he is but still have feelings. If it doesn't work out, he won't be the last. All good. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 33 minutes ago, elaine567 said: But this is not really only about him meeting his friend, this is really about 4 weeks of him introducing distance, so much so Britney had to initiate almost all of their meet ups, (including this one tonight), culminating in him meeting a friend for the 4th of July, leaving the OP high and dry... She assumed she would be meeting her BOYFRIEND on the 4th of JULY.. like any GIRLFRIEND might assume, but she was totally wrong... This guy is not 22,a bit clueless and selfish, he is 40, he knew perfectly well Britney would expect him to be available on the 4th... He didn't care what she thought and he did what he wanted to do and he let her down badly... I guess he is daring her to split up with him. I don't think Britney is ready to split up, not yet anyway and he won't have the gumption to do it, so the saga will continue... My guess he is conflict avoidant, he wants out, has done for weeks, but he wants Britney to pull the plug, he won't want to be seen as the bad guy. He will make things increasingly difficult until Britney can't stand it any longer and breaks up with him... He may or may not have another love interest. These conflict avoidant guys often end up with two women, whilst they try to sort out the mess their conflict avoidance has created. Ah yes, the conflict avoidant guys acting out passive aggressively. been there, done that. If I had any advice it would be to walk and never look back. Britney, if you read this, re-consider the official in person breakup and opt for a phone convo with a time limit and a script. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: You got your invitation to see him later, so the weekend isn't a total write-off. This is just it. She would have only gotten the good morning text and he still wouldn't have asked to see her today if she didn't ask first. He took forever to confirm to see her at 6PM so he obviously had to juggle other plans to do that, meaning it still wasn't his plan to see her today. He didn't offer to pick her up early to make a real day and evening out of their date to make up for not seeing her over 7/4 holiday. He may stay with Brit because she's so easy to please and for sex. He's more like a FWB. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 (edited) 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: This is just it. She would have only gotten the good morning text and he still wouldn't have asked to see her today if she didn't ask first. He took forever to confirm to see her at 6PM so he obviously had to juggle other plans to do that, meaning it still wasn't his plan to see her today. He didn't offer to pick her up early to make a real day and evening out of their date to make up for not seeing her over 7/4 holiday. He may stay with Brit because she's so easy to please and for sex. He's more like a FWB. He thinks he's getting sex tonight but he's so wrong. Thing what if he tells .e what I want to hear and still will want make up sex. How the hell do I trust in what he will tell me? I am still meeting him just can't believe I've been fooled all along. He bought me gifts, took me on vacations, gave me a great bday party so I really thought he liked me as his girlfriend. I thought he was serious. Yes that's true he wouldn't have asked me out if I didn't. Edited July 5, 2021 by Britney25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 11 minutes ago, AnnieB said: Ah yes, the conflict avoidant guys acting out passive aggressively. been there, done that. If I had any advice it would be to walk and never look back. Britney, if you read this, re-consider the official in person breakup and opt for a phone convo with a time limit and a script. Thank you but I still want to see him in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 48 minutes ago, elaine567 said: But this is not really only about him meeting his friend, this is really about 4 weeks of him introducing distance, so much so Britney had to initiate almost all of their meet ups, (including this one tonight), culminating in him meeting a friend for the 4th of July, leaving the OP high and dry... She assumed she would be meeting her BOYFRIEND on the 4th of JULY.. like any GIRLFRIEND might assume, but she was totally wrong... This guy is not 22,a bit clueless and selfish, he is 40, he knew perfectly well Britney would expect him to be available on the 4th... He didn't care what she thought and he did what he wanted to do and he let her down badly... I guess he is daring her to split up with him. I don't think Britney is ready to split up, not yet anyway and he won't have the gumption to do it, so the saga will continue... My guess he is conflict avoidant, he wants out, has done for weeks, but he wants Britney to pull the plug, he won't want to be seen as the bad guy. He will make things increasingly difficult until Britney can't stand it any longer and breaks up with him... He may or may not have another love interest. These conflict avoidant guys often end up with two women, whilst they try to sort out the mess their conflict avoidance has created. Oh I'm going to pull the plug . Let's see what he says..but thing that worries me what if he tells me what I want to hear? What if he does change but is still seeing another Woman. Like I dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 I hope it turns out well for you Britney, try to have a good time and a good talk. DO NOT be afraid to ASK what you need to know and to put him on the spot. He's a little slippery. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Oh I'm going to pull the plug . Let's see what he says..but thing that worries me what if he tells me what I want to hear? What if he does change but is still seeing another Woman. Like I dont know what to do. If you can't trust what he's saying, it's a good indicator he should go back in the pond. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Let's see what he says..but thing that worries me what if he tells me what I want to hear? What if he does change but is still seeing another Woman. Like I dont know what to do. Didn't he tell you what you wanted to hear the last time? I think he promised changes and then did nothing. So remind him of how he doesn't follow through on promises. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 5, 2021 Author Share Posted July 5, 2021 Just now, stillafool said: Didn't he tell you what you wanted to hear the last time? I think he promised changes and then did nothing. So remind him of how he doesn't follow through on promises. Ok I will...thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: but thing that worries me what if he tells me what I want to hear? Of course he will what else can he do? This is where you have to be strong and follow your instincts. Tell him words are sweet but you watch actions and his aren't adding up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 4 hours ago, Tinyjaguar said: You need to know the story before you make the decision. It refreshing to hear someone that doesn't subscribe to this anonymous throwaway society 😁 Frankly speaking, I'm probably a card-carrying member of this society. I would allow him to do the slow fade and then block him. His "methods" are all too familiar and irritating to me. But, having said that, I think it's important for @Britney25 to handle things carefully to avoid regret and self-doubt down the road:@Britney25, for your own sake, you should most definitely meet him, talk to him, and hear what he has to say. Then you should act based on that. (Just a bit of a warning though. It's possible he'll say all the right words to reassure you this time then gradually go back to his annoying behavior. If that happens, you have my blessing to unilaterally dump him without trying to have another conversation.) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 I don't think a break-up is coming. I say that simply because I don't think you're ready to actually end it, Britney. My impression is that if he says the right thing, your anger and frustration and doubt will quickly be forgotten and you'll be back in the thick of things. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 12 hours ago, Britney25 said: . Let's see what he says..but thing that worries me what if he tells me what I want to hear? Even though he's not offering much, he's offering enough. He has a car, since you don't drive. He has his own place, since you live with parents. And he has money to pay for food and dates. He may upset you when he can't do these things for you, but at least you got him to send you food and come get you for the holiday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: He has a car, since you don't drive. Britney, why haven't you learned to drive yet? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: I don't think a break-up is coming. I say that simply because I don't think you're ready to actually end it, Britney. My impression is that if he says the right thing, your anger and frustration and doubt will quickly be forgotten and you'll be back in the thick of things. Yep, I bet Britney is on Cloud 9 today. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 33 minutes ago, stillafool said: Britney, why haven't you learned to drive yet? Not everyone is a driver. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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