Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 18 minutes ago, stillafool said: Apparently he doesn't think it's dumb, does he? Being intoduced to the parents is an indication that you are serious about that person. It's a milestone in a relationship. Especially since you live with them and are only 10 minutes from him. I would think you were ashamed of me or them if I were in his position. So I can understand how he feels about that. But I explained to him why and because it's my culture and he said ok. He spoke with my mom on the phone. Plus it's only 4months. He shouldnt be offended by that. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 42 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He just texted me what he will be doing till Thursday and why we won't meet. I texted him that's not what I meant and I'm interested in the plans of us meeting. We'll see..I'm observing what he will do this week. This is the last chance I'm giving him. If he still doesn't make plans then this is not working and I'm not a priority. You're kidding me. This is like pulling teeth! Personally I'd be saying..."enough." I wouldn't be waiting and agonizing all over again for the next two days until Thursday when he...might or might not text me about actual plans? And then that would REALLY be the last chance, this time? ...or not...maybe just one more chance...(look at all the tooth pulling you did on all these pages over the past week or so...come on...is this really the last chance?). Britney, why do you want to keep going this way... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: But I explained to him why and because it's my culture and he said ok. He spoke with my mom on the phone. Plus it's only 4months. He shouldnt be offended by that. That was then and this is now. Right now is when you have felt things changed pretty significantly. I think he's jerking you around, Britney...and you let him...if anyone will end this, it's you. Him? He'll keep stringing you along letting you twist in the wind in agony, asking hundreds of strangers what to do after every single vague email. I think he's getting some side strange. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: But I explained to him why and because it's my culture and he said ok. He spoke with my mom on the phone. Plus it's only 4months. He shouldnt be offended by that. So at which month is it appropriate to introduce him in your culture? Also, after asking everyone what you should say to him and writing everything out. What exactly did you end up saying to him? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Britney25 said: But I explained to him why and because it's my culture and he said ok. He spoke with my mom on the phone. Plus it's only 4months. He shouldnt be offended by that. Yes it's only four months, but yet you were upset, offended and hurt that he had not asked you to move in? That seems contradictory. One one hand, four months is too soon to introduce him to your parents but NOT too soon to move in together? I'm sorry Brit, that makes very little sense to me. Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: Yes it's only four months, but yet you were upset and hurt that he had not asked you to move in? That seems contradictory. One one hand, four months is too soon to introduce him to your parents but NOT too soon to move in together? I'm sorry Brit, that makes very little sense to me. But what if that's his excuse to make me feel guilty while he is playing? He should off texted me with plans not this passive aggressive text. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 27 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok, makes sense. So introducing a date means it's serious in your culture but it's not that meaningful in general American culture. Doesn't it seem passive-aggressive to you that he texted when and why he'll be busy rather a than when he's free or when he wants to see you? This does seem very passive aggressive. He is sending her his schedule, so she can fit herself in? She is to initiate and organize all future dates and times and he gets to say no? Confusing and does not show high interest in my opinion. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 7 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: That was then and this is now. Right now is when you have felt things changed pretty significantly. I think he's jerking you around, Britney...and you let him...if anyone will end this, it's you. Him? He'll keep stringing you along letting you twist in the wind in agony, asking hundreds of strangers what to do after every single vague email. I think he's getting some side strange. I think so too...why the passive aggressive response and not a text with plans?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, AnnieB said: This does seem very passive aggressive. He is sending her his schedule, so she can fit herself in? She is to initiate and organize all future dates and times and he gets to say no? Confusing and does not show high interest in my opinion. He texted me what he is doing tonight, tomorrow and Thursday. Didnt mention Friday or weekend. So where are his plans for us then?? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Britney25 said: But what if that's his excuse to make me feel guilty while he is playing? First off, you didn't answer my question. Again, why is OK for you to feel hurt and offended that he hasn't asked you to move in, but wrong for him to feel offended because you don't want to introduce him to your parents? Who live 10 minutes away? With respect to the bolded, if you don't trust him, break up with him. Without trust you have nothing, literally. I see a slow and painful death of this RL forthcoming, but wish you the best. Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 12 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: You're kidding me. This is like pulling teeth! Personally I'd be saying..."enough." I wouldn't be waiting and agonizing all over again for the next two days until Thursday when he...might or might not text me about actual plans? And then that would REALLY be the last chance, this time? ...or not...maybe just one more chance...(look at all the tooth pulling you did on all these pages over the past week or so...come on...is this really the last chance?). Britney, why do you want to keep going this way... If he doesnt plan by Thursday I'm not giving him my time this weekend. I'm not even going to text him first this week at all. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, poppyfields said: First off, you didn't answer my question. Again, why is OK for you to feel hurt and offended that he hasn't asked you to move in, but wrong for him to feel offended because you don't want to introduce him to your parents yet? Who live 10 minutes away? With respect to the bolded, if you don't trust him, break up with him. Without trust you have nothing, literally. I see a slow and painful death of this RL coming, but wish you the best. Because he has been acting weirdly and it was too early for me to introduce him. Now I dont mind, but dont make it about my parents. If it was about my parents he should have stated to me before and or ended things with me. I get a passive aggressive text from him about his schedule but still no plans for us. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: If he doesnt plan by Thursday I'm not giving him my time this weekend. I'm not even going to text him first this week at all. What would it take for you to actually break up with him? Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda92 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Guys, she is so unhappy in this relationship that write many topics about it and you are surprised she doesn't want to introduce him to her parents! If you think about breaking up it has no sense to invite him home right? Make some plans for weekend and if he will invite you last minute meet him for 3 hours without sleeping together. Don't wait for him. Just plan something. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He texted me what he is doing tonight, tomorrow and Thursday. Didnt mention Friday or weekend. So where are his plans for us then?? They're nowhere. My suspicious mind says he refuses to make plans because another "friend" might still be deciding whether or not to "come to town." That might not be it. But at this point it is literally just stupid that he couldn't make one single plan with you...like..."let's get pizza Friday." Surely you realize how ridiculous it is. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 6 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He texted me what he is doing tonight, tomorrow and Thursday. Didnt mention Friday or weekend. So where are his plans for us then?? There are no plans, I am about 99% sure his interest is elsewhere. He's probably met somebody new. I would drop this guy like yesterday. Do not make any plans and move on, at this point you don't owe him a breakup conversation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) xxx Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) xxx Good luck Britney. Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Lord, you still haven't answered my question asking why are you offended and hurt that he has not asked you to move in after only four months? But wrong for him to feel hurt and offended.... YES it's way too early, so why the earlier posts expressing disappointment and hurt that he hasn't asked you to move in? There were many posts discussing this. I don't mean to sound harsh, but it appears in your mind it's all about you and your needs. A sense of entitlement. I am not defending him either, I think he's doing the bare minimum, and it IS possible he's using your not introducing him to your parents as an excuse to justify poor behavior at least in your mind. It's clear you are very unhappy and have been for some time, so not understanding why you are hanging on to this, it's becoming toxic... but your choice I suppose. I didn't see where she said she was offended and hurt. She said a friend said he should have asked her to move in but I didn't see where she was pushing for it or even agreeing with it, unless I missed that. I took it as: "should" he have asked by now? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said: I didn't see where she said she was offended and hurt. She said a friend said he should have asked her to move in but I didn't see where she was pushing for it or even agreeing with it, unless I missed that. I took it as: "should" he have asked by now? That's what I meant. Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Well, not sure to make of these last developments. He could have a legitimate reason for his actions but it is strange that he hasn't seen you for so long. I think you need to be more direct with your next communication. Essentially, say to him, do we have a problem. Put him on notice that you are far from happy and are considering ending the relationship if things don't improve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said: Well, not sure to make of these last developments. He could have a legitimate reason for his actions but it is strange that he hasn't seen you for so long. I think you need to be more direct with your next communication. Essentially, say to him, do we have a problem. Put him on notice that you are far from happy and are considering ending the relationship if things don't improve. We spoke in person yesterday. I explained what I needed and what I feel. Today he texted have a beautiful day and then a passive aggressive comment about his schedule. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: I didn't see where she said she was offended and hurt. She said a friend said he should have asked her to move in but I didn't see where she was pushing for it or even agreeing with it, unless I missed that. I took it as: "should" he have asked by now? Well she wrote this less than two of weeks ago: >>"We dont live together, that's another thing. Why isnt he asking me to move in yet? Is it still too early? 4 months? " But now she asserts it's too early to introduce him to her parents? I get he's not treating her the way she needs, but then why question why he is not asking her to move in? Seems like a contradiction. Anyway, nuff said from me and hope it works out the way you hope Brit. Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: We spoke in person yesterday. I explained what I needed and what I feel. Today he texted have a beautiful day and then a passive aggressive comment about his schedule. How did he respond to the chat? Did he understand that you are unhappy? Did he have a good explanation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Tinyjaguar said: How did he respond to the chat? Did he understand that you are unhappy? Did he have a good explanation? You have to go up a little as I have posted what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
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