stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 9 minutes ago, Britney25 said: But I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think what I need to do is if he does plan a date, I agree, but we have no sex. Everytime we see each other it always ends up with sex because I cant control the chemistry we have. You never answered what it was that you actually said to him to get your points across? How can people help you if we don't know the conversation? You asked pretty much everyone what to say to this guy and even agreed to write it out. What did you say to him? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 25 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Ok but what if he texts back with a plan to meet? Here she goes again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 4 minutes ago, poppyfields said: Shoot, returning to say this^ is very telling. I read on a men's forum very recently (like last week) that some men believe the BEST relationships are when the woman feels anxious, insecure and off balance. Reason being, when the woman is anxious and off balance, the sex is hotter, SHE is doing most if not all of the chasing, and he gets to relax feeling like GOD or a King. You can't make this stuff up, this is what I read and other men agreed! I can't say that is what HE is doing but the dynamic you've created here Brit, is that he treats you less than what you need and feel you deserve, yet you will still chase him down, and have hot sex because you cannot control the "chemistry." Yes, I would say he's got you EXACTLY where he wants you, and until you STOP rewarding bad behavior by chasing and giving him what may be the best sex of his life, I don't envision anything changing. I think you're right. Britney probably has every intention of getting her points across to him but when she sees him her hormones go into overdrive and it's pretty much business as usual to get to sex. Then when she's home she realizes nothing has really been settled because she never asked pertinent questions. Then back to LS to ask us. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 28 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Or does he really want to come inside my house. I just dont get why he is so hanged up about that. Why didn't you ask him these questions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 28 minutes ago, Britney25 said: But that's not what I want. I want him to plan the dates. Did you tell him this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: I think you're right. Britney probably has every intention of getting her points across to him but when she sees him her hormones go into overdrive and it's pretty much business as usual to get to sex. Then when she's home she realizes nothing has really been settled because she never asked pertinent questions. Then back to LS to ask us. Rinse, repeat, rinse, repeat. I did ask him questions and how he sees this relationship and if hes seeing someone. If he needs space. Etc. He explained himself but I am observing him this week. If he doesnt ask me put by Thursday I'm not seeing his this weekend. If he does. I will agree but no sex this time. I'm not texting him first either . I'm not chasing him anymore. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, stillafool said: Did you tell him this? Yes!! In response he texts me his schedule this week. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Yes!! In response he texts me his schedule this week. How do you consider a "schedule" a plan for a date? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why didn't you ask him these questions? I did . He asked if I'm hiding something. I said no. I explained to him my culture and he said Ok he's gonna drop the doubts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, stillafool said: How do you consider a "schedule" a plan for a date? Well yes that wasnt what I meant. I replied back I'm interested in his plans for us. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: I did . He asked if I'm hiding something. I said no. I explained to him my culture and he said Ok he's gonna drop the doubts. Did you ask him if you're his gf why he didn't plan to spend the 4th of July with you? Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Well yes that wasnt what I meant. I replied back I'm interested in his plans for us. What plans? Do you mean what plans he's making for you two? What did he say? Edited July 6, 2021 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, stillafool said: Did you ask him if you're his gf why he didn't plan to spend the 4th of July with Yes. He just agreed he should have but didnt say anything. His face was just like he seen a ghost. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: What plans? Plans for us to meet. He knows what I mean. Come on. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Yes!! In response he texts me his schedule this week. Why don't you pencil yourself in? And then maybe he can solidify the plans by Thursday? This is all beyond ridiculous. But look, we've all been there and been jerked around, some of us more than once. The only response to his behavior is. "This isn't working for me, I wish you best of luck". Block and delete. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why didn't you ask him these questions? This is what consistently strikes me through this whole long saga. She seems afraid to speak directly to him...as if one tiny "wrong" whisper will rock the boat and everything will go to ish. She goes into a tailspin answering the simplest, shortest text...when should she answer? SHOULD she answer? If and when she does, exactly what should she say? (but she never wants to hear "what you should say is the truth, that you're pissed at this ridiculousness") Okay, so she answered!! She said X. He answered with Y. SHE'S SO ANGRY THAT HE ANSWERED WITH Y. SO SO ANGRY. WHAT KIND OF GUY ANSWERS THAT WAY??? DARN IT!...oh, wait, but...say that to him? Gasp...ZOMG no way...that's impossible........... I don't think this is a healthy association. JMO. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, AnnieB said: Why don't you pencil yourself in? And then maybe he can solidify the plans by Thursday? This is all beyond ridiculous. But look, we've all been there and been jerked around, some of us more than once. The only response to his behavior is. "This isn't working for me, I wish you best of luck". Block and delete. Specifically he texts me what he is doing after work from today till Thursday. He didnt mention Friday or the weekend yet. Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Specifically he texts me what he is doing after work from today till Thursday. He didnt mention Friday or the weekend yet. Perfect opportunity for you to end the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 1 minute ago, CaliforniaGirl said: This is what consistently strikes me through this whole long saga. She seems afraid to speak directly to him...as if one tiny "wrong" whisper will rock the boat and everything will go to ish. She goes into a tailspin answering the simplest, shortest text...when should she answer? SHOULD she answer? If and when she does, exactly what should she say? (but she never wants to hear "what you should say is the truth, that you're pissed at this ridiculousness") Okay, so she answered!! She said X. He answered with Y. SHE'S SO ANGRY THAT HE ANSWERED WITH Y. SO SO ANGRY. WHAT KIND OF GUY ANSWERS THAT WAY??? DARN IT!...oh, wait, but...say that to him? Gasp...ZOMG no way...that's impossible........... I don't think this is a healthy association. JMO. Omg I am telling you and everyone that I did talk with him. I am now observing if what he said he will do more better off will actually happen this week. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 (edited) 14 minutes ago, Britney25 said: If he doesnt ask me put by Thursday I'm not seeing his this weekend. If he does. I will agree but no sex this time. I'm not texting him first either . I'm not chasing him anymore. Britney, withholding sex is manipulation and game playing, I do not advise doing this. It's not the correct approach. When a man isn't treating you the way you need and feel you deserve, the correct approach is to end the relationship. NOT employing various strategies like withholding sex or "pulling back" hoping he will begin treating you the way you need. That is the very definition of manipulation, and wrong on so many levels. Just break up with him. Wish him well, say goodbye and move on. Edited July 6, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnnieB Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Omg I am telling you and everyone that I did talk with him. I am now observing if what he said he will do more better off will actually happen this week. And we are telling you that nothing will happen. There will be no plans proposed by him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: Specifically he texts me what he is doing after work from today till Thursday. He didnt mention Friday or the weekend yet. Does he think you're so stupid as to care what's on that schedule other than info as to when he's going to take you out? I can't believe you put up with this. BTW, what did he have plans for you two to do yesterday? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: Does he think you're so stupid as to care what's on that schedule other than info as to when he's going to take you out? I can't believe you put up with this. BTW, what did he have plans for you two to do yesterday? We watched movies at his place Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Jeez, Britney, it's only Tuesday! Give him a chance to make plans for the weekend. And stop listening to the doomsayers on here. They've got you convinced he's a passive aggressive jerk who's playing the field. Maybe he's just not a planner. Not everybody plans their weekend a week in advance! 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 6, 2021 Author Share Posted July 6, 2021 3 minutes ago, Crazelnut said: Jeez, Britney, it's only Tuesday! Give him a chance to make plans for the weekend. And stop listening to the doomsayers on here. They've got you convinced he's a passive aggressive jerk who's playing the field. Maybe he's just not a planner. Not everybody plans their weekend a week in advance! Yes thank you! I'm not crossing him out yet. It is only Tuesday. Link to post Share on other sites
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