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Am I crazy to think this?


Britney25

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3 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Why is it that important to see my place when it's my parents home and he knows this.

Because people wit a history of anorexia have a continuing struggle with control and hiding.

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3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Because people wit a history of anorexia have a continuing struggle with control and hiding.

He doesnt know I was anorexic. Anorexia doesnt define me. 

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It looks like fun partners. So he can be done easily and you have no say to ask him to do otherwise.

Of you were his gf would be deferent.

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57 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Are you Asian? Adults living at home until marriage is common in Asian culture ^^

I'm Russian

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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Does the reason matter? You claim he's pulling back and it's a change.

That's the slow fade, but you won't accept that.

It probably would have fizzled out one way or the other by now anyway, so don't beat yourself up.

But realize the your odd "keep out" policy will turn off many men.

Yes the reason does matter. 

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3 hours ago, Britney25 said:

Or does he really want to come inside my house. I just dont get why he is so hanged up about that. 

You keep saying in your culture 4 months is too soon to meet the parents, so you understand you 2 come from a different cultures. My question is: why only your culture is important? This man's culture is around 4 months you meet family and friends, if not then it starts looking fishy. His culture is important too.

That being said l imagine you don't live in Russia but in the US. It's part of your gf's duty to understand and be flexible with your bf's culture.

At 37, living with your parents, having to be driven back home each night, l am surprised an American man was ok with that for 4 months. He is being extremely understanding of your culture. You need to be understanding of his.

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6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You keep saying in your culture 4 months is too soon to meet the parents, so you understand you 2 come from a different cultures. My question is: why only your culture is important? This man's culture is around 4 months you meet family and friends, if not then it starts looking fishy. His culture is important too.

That being said l imagine you don't live in Russia but in the US. It's part of your gf's duty to understand and be flexible with your bf's culture.

At 37, living with your parents, having to be driven back home each night, l am surprised an American man was ok with that for 4 months. He is being extremely understanding of your culture. You need to be understanding of his.

I never asked him to drive me back. He wants to do it. He doesn't mind. It can't be that reason he changed. I told him I will invite him If it's that important to him. If that bothers him that much he can end it and say that's the reason. He didn't end it. He's not even taking me to meet his Mom. 

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1 hour ago, Britney25 said:

I'm living at home because that's what my parents want until I get married.

That is exactly why you are still single.

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Miss Spider

Never been an issue for anyone I dated, but if he’s got an issue with it , the reasonable thing to would be to bring it up to his gf that he thinks it’s weird that he can’t come over. That he hasn’t been properly introduced to his gf of 4 months mother yet. If that’s how he feels. Instead of not at like everything is peachy and lovey dovey, but then act like a part time bf. It seems way casual to me. More like a fwb. There’s something wrong about this scenario and I really doubt inviting him to her house to meet her mom is going to fix it 

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3 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I never asked him to drive me back. He wants to do it. He doesn't mind. It can't be that reason he changed. I told him I will invite him If it's that important to him. If that bothers him that much he can end it and say that's the reason. He didn't end it. He's not even taking me to meet his Mom. 

Can you sleep over his place?

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4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

That is exactly why you are still single.

I'm sorry but maybe you missed when I said I had anorexia for 20yrs off my life. I was very sick. I hate when people just assume.

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2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Never been an issue for anyone I dated, but if he’s got an issue with it , the reasonable thing to would be to bring it up to his gf that he thinks it’s weird that he can’t come over. That he hasn’t been properly introduced to his gf of 4 months mother yet. If that’s how he feels. Instead of not at like everything is peachy and lovey dovey, but then act like a part time bf. It seems way casual to me. More like a fwb. There’s something wrong about this scenario and I really doubt inviting him to her house to meet her mom is going to fix it 

Me too. I doubt it's going to fix the situation because if that was really his reason , then he should of brought it wayyyyy earlier and or just break it off.

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3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Can you sleep over his place?

Yes I sometimes do. 

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1 minute ago, Britney25 said:

I'm sorry but maybe you missed when I said I had anorexia for 20yrs off my life. I was very sick. I hate when people just assume.

What did l assume? Nothing.

I'm sorry you've battled anorexia. You also said you are doing good now right?

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1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

What did l assume? Nothing.

I'm sorry you've battled anorexia. You also said you are doing good now right?

Yes I'm doing way better. Have for some time now. Thank you

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Miss Spider

Hi. Have you met his parents? Whose idea was it to be bf/gf? His? And how was it brought up

 

also are you guys following each other on social media.
 

This kind of reminds me of a situation a friend of my was/is with a guy. I mentioned it in another thread too. He would disappear for periods, and be a  real half ***despite declarations of love and that they were bf/bf 

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5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Hi. Have you met his parents? Whose idea was it to be bf/gf? His? And how was it brought up

 

also are you guys following each other on social media.
 

This kind of reminds me of a situation a friend of my was/is with a guy. I mentioned it in another thread too. He would disappear for periods, and be  real half ***despite declarations of love and that they were bf/bf 

No I haven't yet met his parents.  They live in Utah. 

It was his idea to be bf/gf and he brought it up in the first month of dating. He just asked me.

Yes we follow each other on social media.

I never said he disappears. He always communicates with me. I said lately I have been asking to meet. He always agrees when I initiate those meetings but he used to plan our dates. Now he does it once in a while .

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Miss Spider

Thanks .. Sorry I mean in my friend’s case he was disappearing. There was a big inconsistency in his words vs “actions” like your guy. With your guy, you may have a rough idea of what’s going on, and in a large way  you are in the dark, sans the text messaging.  It just isn’t normal behavior. If he wanted to see you, he’d initiate. Especially considering that you guys have talked about this. I just know it’s hard sometimes for people to accept they need to move on at a certain point

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stillafool
46 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He's not even taking me to meet his Mom. 

But his mom is way in Utah.  Your parents are 10 min away from him.  You'd rather he end it with you than ask to meet your parents?

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19 minutes ago, stillafool said:

But his mom is way in Utah.  Your parents are 10 min away from him.  You'd rather he end it with you than ask to meet your parents?

He will meet my parents. I have no problem for him to.

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5 hours ago, Britney25 said:

That is not the whole realtionship no.

Maybe so.

But you can't deny there is an unhealthy dependency on your boyfriend that is taking a tremendous toll on you.

 

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You seem too clingy and insecure and your inner thoughts will push him away!

FyI: my reply was to the original 1st post. I see the story has developed further! 

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