Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 4 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Yes, to me Saturdays are important. This is our Prime time, the most valuable of all evenings in the week. We keep our Saturdays for important people. 😕 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 6 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Ok that's what you mean. I will tell him that but I'm still observing till Sunday. Not waiting and dropping everything for him but observing what will happen. Okay, but you aren't just observing. You're twisting and agonizing. And then Sunday will come and you'll get an answer that doesn't match what's happening and you'll be agonizing again. How much of this are you wiling to put up with? Speak up! Stop this silliness. You're worth more than this. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 I read the entire thread, and he's exhibiting classic signs of a guy who is losing interest / doing a slow fade. The daily "good morning" / "thinking of you"" texts are just nonsense timewasters to keep you around in case he's bored or has nothing else to do. A man who is interested in you makes plans with you and makes darn sure he knows when he is going to see you next. He isn't doing any of that. And you even brought this up to him not even a week ago! And still....nothing. Not impressive. I mean, it's Friday afternoon and he's made no plans at all with you for the weekend. Know what that means? It either means he's made plans with someone else or seeing you isn't important enough to him that he makes sure to reserve a spot on your calendar. Do not let him string you along any more. If he tries to make plans with you this weekend, you should already be busy. Do not be the one to initiate plans or ask when you are going to meet. Just take about ten steps back. My opinion is that he will fade away. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 17 minutes ago, clia said: I read the entire thread, and he's exhibiting classic signs of a guy who is losing interest / doing a slow fade. The daily "good morning" / "thinking of you"" texts are just nonsense timewasters to keep you around in case he's bored or has nothing else to do. A man who is interested in you makes plans with you and makes darn sure he knows when he is going to see you next. He isn't doing any of that. And you even brought this up to him not even a week ago! And still....nothing. Not impressive. I mean, it's Friday afternoon and he's made no plans at all with you for the weekend. Know what that means? It either means he's made plans with someone else or seeing you isn't important enough to him that he makes sure to reserve a spot on your calendar. Do not let him string you along any more. If he tries to make plans with you this weekend, you should already be busy. Do not be the one to initiate plans or ask when you are going to meet. Just take about ten steps back. My opinion is that he will fade away. Yes I'm starting to believe that as well that he is fading away. It hurts me but I must be positive. Yes I'm not initiating any texts to him at all. Thank you for reading the whole thread. I know it was a lot!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 35 minutes ago, Britney25 said: So Saturday's are more important? Just want to be clear. No. It's not. It's nonsense to have a dating schedule or pick 'special days", etc. If a couple are seeing each other and things are going well, they will go well any day of the week. Not sure how this myth came up, but it's silly. Some people have friends, family, sports gyms, want to chill, etc. on some weekend days. Don't worry about things that are not worth worrying about. Focus on his communications and actions and what direction the overall picture is going in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: No. It's not. It's nonsense to have a dating schedule or pick 'special days", etc. He gave her 4 Saturdays in 4 months. Sure people have family & friends, I have a huge family and I don't give them 12 Saturdays and 4 Saturdays to my bf. It shows where his priorities are. On a side note. When my ex started cheating my first suspicion was because he started being busy elsewhere on Saturday nights. Edited July 9, 2021 by Gaeta Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: No. It's not. It's nonsense to have a dating schedule or pick 'special days", etc. If a couple are seeing each other and things are going well, they will go well any day of the week. Not sure how this myth came up, but it's silly. Some people have friends, family, sports gyms, want to chill, etc. on some weekend days. Don't worry about things that are not worth worrying about. Focus on his communications and actions and what direction the overall picture is going in. Um, it's really not a myth, it's based on a larger portion of society working during the week and having the weekends off. That's been a "thing" since I think about the 1920s. Before that people would work and usually take just Sunday off. Yes, there are people who don't work that schedule - a lot of them - but a larger portion have this "standard work schedule" so there you have it. And since this seems to be Britney's boyfriend's thing too (he has weekends off...unless I'm mistaken), it would only make sense for them to spend that time together, no "mythology" needed. This place sometimes. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He gave her 4 Saturdays in 4 months. Sure people have family & friends, I have a huge family and I don't give them 12 Saturdays and 4 Saturdays to my bf. It shows where his priorities are. On a side note. When my ex started cheating my first suspicion was because he started being busy elsewhere on Saturday nights. This. The point is that he HAS those weekends off. And he chooses not to spend them with someone who is supposed to be his girlfriend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: He gave her 4 Saturdays in 4 months. So? Try not to imply your personal choices are some sort of indicator or dating rule. It stirs an already anxious pot superimposing your idiosyncratic rules. It's nonsense for a lot of people particularly busy professionals with demanding jobs/schedules. People who want 9-5 m-f don't need to date doctors, attorneys, pilots, law enforcement, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: So? Try not to imply your personal choices are some sort of indicator or dating rule. It stirs an already anxious pot superimposing your idiosyncratic rules. It's nonsense for a lot of people particularly busy professionals with demanding jobs/schedules. People who want 9-5 m-f don't need to date doctors, attorneys, pilots, law enforcement, etc. Dude. She was anxious anyway. In the beginning, so many people here were trying to tell her NOT to worry. She worried. Agonized, really. It's been blow-by-blow fear on Britney's part from the very beginning and people are just following her lead trying to interpret every single new development. When someone is THIS anxious it is definitely time to figure out whether it's worth it anymore. And no...wanting to spend a fair amount of free time with the girlfriend or boyfriend rather than (or at the same time as, what's wrong with that?) family or friends is NOT an idiosyncratic rule. It's love. p.s. He's a laywer, it's pretty doubtful that he's on call on weekends in case a law emergency comes up. Edited July 9, 2021 by CaliforniaGirl 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 17 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said: Dude. She was anxious anyway. In the beginning, so many people here were trying to tell her NOT to worry. She worried. Agonized, really. It's been blow-by-blow fear on Britney's part from the very beginning and people are just following her lead trying to interpret every single new development. When someone is THIS anxious it is definitely time to figure out whether it's worth it anymore. And no...wanting to spend a fair amount of free time with the girlfriend or boyfriend rather than (or at the same time as, what's wrong with that?) family or friends is NOT an idiosyncratic rule. It's love. p.s. He's a laywer, it's pretty doubtful that he's on call on weekends in case a law emergency comes up. Yeah people were telling me not to worry but it seems like everything I feared is coming true. He is showing that this week. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 4 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Yeah people were telling me not to worry but it seems like everything I feared is coming true. He is showing that this week. Well, he does seem to be pulling back and acting strange since his return from his trip, so you can observe this trend and don't worry about other people's favorite date nights etc. In other words, if you feel things are fading, don't sweat the small stuff. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 24 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: It's nonsense for a lot of people particularly busy professionals with demanding jobs/schedules. People who want 9-5 m-f don't need to date doctors, attorneys, pilots, law enforcement, etc. Britney already confirmed he's off on weekends and he may travel once in a while, she only mentionned 1 trip. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Britney already confirmed he's off on weekends and he may travel once in a while, she only mentionned 1 trip. He would see me after work many times since we live 10mins from each other. Not sure if that counts, but yes he is off every weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Britney25: When I am anxious about something I de-dramatize everthing by asking myself what are the consequences of the worse case scenario. Here is the answer. You've only been dating 4 months. You were doing just fine before meeting him and you'll do just fine when he's gone. This man won't make you or break you! Men come and go! It's life. You've battled and won over an eating disoder, it's not a boyfriend of 4 months that will crush you, alright? There is no reason to be anxious. Let it unfold on its own. Let him show what he's made of. Don't contact him, make plans for the weekend, go shop! go have a manucure, a new haircut, go see a movie! go spoil yourself. 11 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 When someone doesn't put in enough effort I do not start asking questions why or making requests. That person's actions tell me all I need to know. I don't think you have to ask him a thing. Simply go on and make plans. Whether or not he has someone else or is doing the fade, it doesn't matter and it won't change the fact that he's not making plans with you (early on enough). If that's what you require in your dates, this guy is a long ways back in your rear view mirror already and dust. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 He has been pulling back for a whole month now... that was when Britney noticed she was doing all the initiating... All her "baseless fears" (according to some on here), were spot on. She knew something was up. 4 months is not the usual time to pull back, it is peak honeymoon period, if all is going well At that point he lost interest and started the slow fade. Now he is treading water in the hope Britney will just take the hint and go away.... but if she is offering sex, he will take it anyway... Britney grasp the nettle, and get rid of this guy he is just wasting your time. 2 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 What kind of plans were you making with your friends for this weekend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 2 minutes ago, stillafool said: What kind of plans were you making with your friends for this Not to be rude but does it matter? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, elaine567 said: He has been pulling back for a whole month now... that was when Britney noticed she was doing all the initiating... All her "baseless fears" (according to some on here), were spot on. She knew something was up. 4 months is not the usual time to pull back, it is peak honeymoon period, if all is going well At that point he lost interest and started the slow fade. Now he is treading water in the hope Britney will just take the hint and go away.... but if she is offering sex, he will take it anyway... Britney grasp the nettle, and get rid of this guy he is just wasting your time. I can't get over the fact we had this convo and he had a chance to tell me it's not working for him, but chose to tell me that he loves our connection ect..and still keep texting me the next day, it was all for sex wasn't it. How could I've been so stupid. I think I need to sell all his gifts. Edited July 9, 2021 by Britney25 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 5 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Not to be rude but does it matter? 22 hours ago, Britney25 said: Oh yes I am already planning my weekend, but just disappointed. Yes it matters Brittany. You don't want to spend another anxious weekend waiting and wondering if this guy will call to see you. It isn't healthy. You said earlier you were working on plans so I was asking what they were. Sorry if you consider that rude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: I think I need to sell all his gifts. No, keep the ones you like, unless of course you need the money.. You deserve to get something out of it, for all the angst and heart ache he has caused you... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 22 minutes ago, stillafool said: Yes it matters Brittany. You don't want to spend another anxious weekend waiting and wondering if this guy will call to see you. It isn't healthy. You said earlier you were working on plans so I was asking what they were. Sorry if you consider that rude. I will be busy 🙂 He made it known today to me that I'm not a priority for him at this time. 2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 25 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I think I need to sell all his gifts. You feel that way now but don't. Just box them. I've never gotten rid of gifts. The feeling passes. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 45 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I can't get over the fact we had this convo and he had a chance to tell me it's not working for him, but chose to tell me that he loves our connection ect..and still keep texting me the next day, it was all for sex wasn't it. How could I've been so stupid. I think I need to sell all his gifts It is definitely a jerk move for someone to pretend they are still interested when they're actually deliberately pulling away. Very unkind. And it can make it difficult for you to ultimately move on. So perhaps you need to revise your view of him. Don't think of him as a nice guy that should have done better. Think of him as a selfish manipulative guy being his true self. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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