Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: It means he has a lot on his mind. When are you going to talk together? Later today. This time by phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 4 minutes ago, Britney25 said: He texted me back today. Said he was sleeping yesterday . He said I never wanted or meant to disrespect you. I have a lot on my mind and would like to talk with you. What is a lot on my mind mean? Has he had a mental health issue? I could explain a lot. Stress is a relationship killer. Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda92 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 This normal thing American would say. I heard once "I didn't mean to be rude" after guy treated me bad. I don't know how long you live in the US, but you took everything too seriously. Americans always try to be polite and avoid brutal honesty. You want him to tell you: I don't like you anymore or what? Stop thinking that he loved you. We love and we stop loving, it's normal, he didn't promise you anything, you weren't married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Tinyjaguar said: Has he had a mental health issue? I could explain a lot. Stress is a relationship killer. I think he means he was thinking about us and what to do...he is letting me down gently 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, Amanda92 said: This normal thing American would say. I heard once "I didn't mean to be rude" after guy treated me bad. I don't know how long you live in the US, but you took everything too seriously. Americans always try to be polite and avoid brutal honesty. You want him to tell you: I don't like you anymore or what? Stop thinking that he loved you. We love and we stop loving, it's normal, he didn't promise you anything, you weren't married. Yes! Thats what I want!! It hurts me more hes silent. Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Just now, Britney25 said: I think he means he was thinking about us and what to do...he is letting me down gently I see. Just see what he has to say and make a judgement call. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Hear what he has to say and decide from there. If it feels like BS, call it BS and walk away. Truthfully, it would have to be really major stuff to make me not call BS. But see what he says and don't accept words at face value. His actions are what's being discussed, not his feeeeelings or wants. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 10 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Later today. This time by phone. Listen, don't try to convince him that he should not end the relationship. Consider this conversation as a your closure. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 8 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I think he means he was thinking about us and what to do...he is letting me down gently Honestly, this my read on his latest message to you as well. It sounds like he is gearing up for some version of "It's not you, it's me." In any case, you will be able to hear him live and can quit with all this texting. If you two are going to talk, you need to have a proper conversation. Not through texting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 55 minutes ago, Britney25 said: I have a lot on my mind Ahhrghhh ...... is that the same guy that I was dating? 😂 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said: Ahhrghhh ...... is that the same guy that I was dating? 😂 Tell me lol Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 (edited) 20 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Tell me lol My ex did the exact same thing. Fade out, less and less contact (we were LD during the last "portion" of our R, so it was easy for him to build a parallel life), and I have to admit, I was too busy to even want more at that time. And after a few years you just get used to the ebbs and flows in a relationship (I honestly didn't assume the distance would break us; we had been together too long for that; to me LD was OK, just a different phase in our lives that was necessary due to circumstances/jobs/families etc.). The LD phase was meant to be temporary (and I honestly kind of enjoyed it, but I digress.....). But then he went MIA for a few days (no texts/no calls), and I knew something was up. After calling him out, he said (like your BF) he had lots going on and he'd had a lot to think about, esp. about "us" (???), hence the silence......and that we should break up (in reality, he was on a trip with his new GF; found out later through a friend). And if I hadn't said anything, he wouldn't have either. I am sure of that. Let's see – maybe your BF has a different explanation for his absence. (Maybe he surprises you!!) Because I don't think this is "normal" behavior, so I kind of think you'll hear some explanation that makes sense hopefully..... Edited July 13, 2021 by Pumpernickel 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: He said I never wanted to disrespect you. I have a lot on my mind let's talk today. He just replied now. He was sleeping last night. Ok, so he denies your accusation. Are you surprised? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: Later today. This time by phone. You should have made him give you a time. Your time is valuable and you don't have time to just wait until God knows when for him to get back to you. 1 hour ago, Britney25 said: He texted me back today. Said he was sleeping yesterday . He said I never wanted or meant to disrespect you. I have a lot on my mind and would like to talk with you. What is a lot on my mind mean? Sleeping all day? He must have had one hellavu weekend if it took all day Monday to recover or was this too a lie. Sorry Britney that this guy is such a jerk. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 14 minutes ago, stillafool said: You should have made him give you a time. Your time is valuable and you don't have time to just wait until God knows when for him to get back to you. Sleeping all day? He must have had one hellavu weekend if it took all day Monday to recover or was this too a lie. Sorry Britney that this guy is such a jerk. Yeah I texted him again to give me a time....I know hes a jerk I know. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tinyjaguar Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Yeah I texted him again to give me a time....I know hes a jerk I know. The guy may well be a jerk, but he also has the answers to your questions. I think you need this call so you can move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumpernickel Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 3 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Yeah I texted him again to give me a time....I know hes a jerk I know. Now that he's "up", you should call him. It's quicker, you don't have to wait around, and he won't have time to make up bogus excuses. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Britney25 said: Yeah I texted him again to give me a time It's interesting he states he "has a lot on his mind". Do you think he'll tell you all about all sorts of stuff and that's why he's 'too busy" for a relationship? It's doubtful you'll know the real reason he's ending it, but you do know the reasons he tiptoed out. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 Be prepared he may never make that phone call. He's just delaying and he'll probably chicken out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 So now you get to spend yet another day in anxiety over this....to find out what you already know. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 1 minute ago, Gaeta said: Be prepared he may never make that phone call. He's just delaying and he'll probably chicken out. If he does that I'm going to call him Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said: Now that he's "up", you should call him. It's quicker, you don't have to wait around, and he won't have time to make up bogus excuses. Voice Mail. lol Or in a meeting or in the shower or driving or on another call or phone charging or, or, or.... Just like "sleeping". You can push and shove, but he's not budging. Edited July 13, 2021 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Britney25 Posted July 13, 2021 Author Share Posted July 13, 2021 3 minutes ago, clia said: So now you get to spend yet another day in anxiety over this....to find out what you already know. Not anxiety... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda92 Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 What do you want to tell him? Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 13, 2021 Share Posted July 13, 2021 (edited) 15 minutes ago, Britney25 said: Yeah I texted him again to give me a time....I know hes a jerk I know. Hi Brit, if me, I'd tell him there is nothing to talk about, you've said your piece, we're done, wish you the best, bye. I mean why "talk"? So he can end it "properly"? In your mind, it should be done, period. You spoke up, expressed your disappointment, that should be that. NEXT. Might be considered harsh, but the way this entire thing has gone down, it's bullshyt. He was sleeping? Ha. If he was in bed, he wasn't sleeping.😳 No more Miss Nice Girl! You need to toughen up some Brit, otherwise you're gonna get eaten alive out there!! You can still be soft and feminine, with the right men, men who treat you with kindness and respect. Not guys like him. JMO, what I would do in your shoes. Edited July 13, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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