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Am I crazy to think this?


Britney25

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Brtiney calm down people just don't want to see you hurt by him anymore.   It's not your fault this guy is a jerk.  It's been over an hour since you requested a time to talk and he still has not gotten back to you.  I think he said this:  

3 hours ago, Britney25 said:

He said I never wanted to disrespect you. I have a lot on my mind let's talk today. He just replied now.

"He said he never wanted to disrespect you" - he's admitting he did disrespect you

"I have a lot on my mind let's talk today" - he has to have time to make up excuses why he disrespected you and possibly why you two should take a break

The fact that he's taking this long to get back with you about a time to talk is still disrespectful.  It only takes a minute or less to text a time to talk.

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4 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

And while I don't think a 4-month thing is necessarily a relationship (I would consider it an test run, TBH, but that's just me), there has been something between them that she (and maybe he) believed in...... So why repeat the same negative notions over and over? It's not helpful

It's one thing for people to be dating for 4 months and yet to make a commitment.  This guy told her he was in love with her, wanted kids with her, etc., and then does a complete turn around once she fell for him.  That is painful and hard to reconcile when you've fallen in love because of lies that were told.

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45 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said:

Dumped or not, Britney deserves an explanation and, with a bit of luck, she will get one. It may be genuine or complete bs but that is Britney's perogative to decide.

And what if she doesn't get one?

She is at this guy's mercy.

I mean, enough is enough.

Edited by Alpaca
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Pumpernickel

I think very often we know when the relationship is over, or when it is fizzling out, without the other person (the "dumper") telling us.
I am guessing this is the case with the OP here as well. I have an inkling, and so do others here in this thread, that her BF is with somebody else. I am guessing - again - that the OP might have the same inkling. It's not like anybody is stringing her along. She knows what's going on. She then tried to call, she's texted her thoughts, and he may or may not call her back. He said he would. He offered. 
I don't think she's at his "mercy". It's not that dramatic. She's come to her conclusion, I am sure. They are similar to other posters' conclusions.
I still want an update, though. 

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44 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Brtiney calm down people just don't want to see you hurt by him anymore.   It's not your fault this guy is a jerk.  It's been over an hour since you requested a time to talk and he still has not gotten back to you.  I think he said this:  

"He said he never wanted to disrespect you" - he's admitting he did disrespect you

"I have a lot on my mind let's talk today" - he has to have time to make up excuses why he disrespected you and possibly why you two should take a break

The fact that he's taking this long to get back with you about a time to talk is still disrespectful.  It only takes a minute or less to text a time to talk.

Wow thank you for explaining his message .

Yep hes not even reading my messages. I WhatsApp him btw. I will wait a bit.

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5 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

I think very often we know when the relationship is over, or when it is fizzling out, without the other person (the "dumper") telling us.
I am guessing this is the case with the OP here as well. I have an inkling, and so do others here in this thread, that her BF is with somebody else. I am guessing - again - that the OP might have the same inkling. It's not like anybody is stringing her along. She knows what's going on. She then tried to call, she's texted her thoughts, and he may or may not call her back. He said he would. He offered. 
I don't think she's at his "mercy". It's not that dramatic. She's come to her conclusion, I am sure. They are similar to other posters' conclusions.
I still want an update, though. 

At this point it's true...I dont know if he will talk with me. His bday is today I forgot, I thought its Friday . He still hasn't read my last message of what time. 

It hurts he has another Woman. Wow. I wonder how long this has been going on.

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If today is his birthday it's doubtful he will be home or available at 7PM.  Don't get your hopes up.  The fact that he hasn't gotten back to you with a time yet and it's his Birthday he's probably already made plans.

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9 minutes ago, stillafool said:

If today is his birthday it's doubtful he will be home or available at 7PM.  Don't get your hopes up.  The fact that he hasn't gotten back to you with a time yet and it's his Birthday he's probably already made plans.

He just replied asking tomorrow afternoon since it's his bday. I'm doubting he will talk tomorrow,  but let's see.

Edited by Britney25
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This is just getting cringe now.  I mean, what's the point?  You didn't hear from him all weekend, today is his birthday and he's not spending it with you, you already "called him out" via text....so why sit around waiting for a convenient time for him to talk to you?  It just seems to prolong everything even more, rather than allowing you to start the healing process.  IMO, do not respond to him again, do what you need to do to grieve the relationship, and move on.    

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introverted1

Britney, why are you giving him this much power? He has shown you who he is and that you are not a priority to him.  Time to gather up your dignity and block this guy.  He is not worth your time.

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1 minute ago, introverted1 said:

Britney, why are you giving him this much power? He has shown you who he is and that you are not a priority to him.  Time to gather up your dignity and block this guy.  He is not worth your time.

So I should demand I want to talk today?

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3 minutes ago, clia said:

This is just getting cringe now.  I mean, what's the point?  You didn't hear from him all weekend, today is his birthday and he's not spending it with you, you already "called him out" via text....so why sit around waiting for a convenient time for him to talk to you?  It just seems to prolong everything even more, rather than allowing you to start the healing process.  IMO, do not respond to him again, do what you need to do to grieve the relationship, and move on.    

I dont care its prolonging the situation since I'm already dumped by him.  What's another day? Or should I demand to talk today?

Edited by Britney25
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ExpatInItaly
2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Let's all remember breakups are hard and we ALL have been where Britney is right now.

Absolutley. 

I think Britney could use a little more support in this, rather than to be told over and over why she's wrong for making those certain choices. She needs to do whatever works for her, rather than what would work for all of us. 

 

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31 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Well when someone starts typing in all caps saying they are suffering I take that not to be a good thing.

And, he has yet to call.

I think much of Britney's outburst was very much driven by some of the contradictory advice and criticism of her on here.

I agree that her bf is not dealing with this well and the kind thing to do would be to man up and talk to her but no-one can make him act.

Even if he spouts complete bs when they talk, she can tell him directly that she doesn't want him and, although painful at the time, she will get some closure out of it.

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introverted1
2 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

So I should demand I want to talk today?

No, just walk away. 

It's over. I know that hurts but the sooner you accept the outcome, the sooner you can move forward.  It's for YOUR benefit, not his, that there is no point in insisting on a discussion. 

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2 minutes ago, introverted1 said:

No, just walk away. 

It's over. I know that hurts but the sooner you accept the outcome, the sooner you can move forward.  It's for YOUR benefit, not his, that there is no point in insisting on a discussion. 

But I want to talk with him. He owes me this.

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introverted1
Just now, Britney25 said:

But I want to talk with him. He owes me this.

Ok, do whatever you want to do.

Good luck.

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5 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

I dont care its prolonging the situation since I'm already dumped by him What's another day? Or should I demand to talk today?

Now I understand you need that conversation but in the world of love & romance we rarely get that final conversation and we have to pick up what's left of our heart and move on. My ex of 5 years wouldn't even give me this final conversation after promising 'we would talk'. 

Going back to 'needing this conversation', give yourself a deadline. You're ok to wait until tomorrow, what if he doesn't call tomorrow? what if he pushes it back further? How long are you willing to be at his  mercy for this closure?

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7 minutes ago, Tinyjaguar said:

I think much of Britney's outburst was very much driven by some of the contradictory advice and criticism of her on here.

I agree that her bf is not dealing with this well and the kind thing to do would be to man up and talk to her but no-one can make him act.

Even if he spouts complete bs when they talk, she can tell him directly that she doesn't want him and, although painful at the time, she will get some closure out of it.

He asked to talk tomorrow? Should I demand to talk today? Or just wait till tomorrow? What's another day?

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1 minute ago, Gaeta said:

Now I understand you need that conversation but in the world of love & romance we rarely get that final conversation and we have to pick up what's left of our heart and move on. My ex of 5 years wouldn't even give me this final conversation after promising 'we would talk'. 

Going back to 'needing this conversation', give yourself a deadline. You're ok to wait until tomorrow, what if he doesn't call tomorrow? what if he pushes it back further? How long are you willing to be at his  mercy for this closure?

Exactly I'm not sure if he will even talk tomorrow or he is delaying the talk...I'm still thinking 

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29 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

He just replied asking tomorrow afternoon since it's his bday. I'm doubting he will talk tomorrow,  but let's see.

Well at least he got back to you and wasn't inconsiderate and making you wait all day and night for a response.  Find out what time tomorrow because you have plans.

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ExpatInItaly
8 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Should I demand to talk today? Or just wait till tomorrow? What's another day?

What do you want to do? 

We can't steer this ship for you. 

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1 minute ago, stillafool said:

Well at least he got back to you and wasn't inconsiderate and making you wait all day and night for a response.  Find out what time tomorrow because you have plans.

Yeah he asked me if afternoon or evening works

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33 minutes ago, Britney25 said:

Now he is saying tomorrow afternoon since it's his bday today

What time tomorrow afternoon?  Lock down a time.

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