vwisme Posted July 1, 2021 Share Posted July 1, 2021 (edited) I've debated putting this here as I don't like giving time and energy to past events but I write this in hopes that it'll inspire someone, give them hope, and also say thank you to the LC community. I've never felt more free and alive and finally choosing myself and the love I deserve. A little back story first. Recently I went through a break up. Off and on relationship for over a year or so. She dumped me and a week or so later said she wanted to marry me...then a week or so later saying she wanted to move on. I was pretty upset and didn't respond too well (blew up her phone...ugh) and basically said if it's not more than friends than I don't want it...then came back and said I'll take friends. Cue radio silence on her end. She messaged me a week later asking me why I blew up her phone. I apologized and said I was sorry. She proceeded to put me down and saying how I haven't and probably won't change. I let her know that was her opinion but not mine but nevertheless, I understand and want nothing but the best. She responded by saying she thought it best that she move on and find love. I let her know I understood and wished her the best. She followed that up by saying she wanted to be honest and let me know she'll be dating other people. At this point I started to feel like games were being played or a reaction was trying to be incited. I let her know I understood and again, I want nothing but the best for her. And this is when it got interesting. She said she wished that we could still be friends as she still cared for me but she realizes that's something I would never be interested in. I let her know I was okay with being just friends as I've had time to think about things. She followed that up with "I know it's not easy to hear me say these things". I let her know it's perfectly fine and she opened the floor to tell her how I feel. I let her know I had time to think about it and that she's right. We should absolutely move on. We shouldn't be together. The off and on relationship is exhausting and I don't want to be with someone who couldn't stay with me. That either I didn't mean enough to her to stick around or she hadn't done the internal work necessary to stay in a stable/consistent relationship. I let her know that I too had gone on dates with other people (which she knew) and despite them not working out, they still followed up (platonically) weeks later asking how my travel plans were or wanting to celebrate my job accomplishments (a huge company wanted to bring me in as a senior engineer) - two things she never cared to ask me about, celebrate me for, or even talk about after I told her about it excitedly. I told her that she probably isn't that into me or has to figure out what's going on in her that she can't stay. I let her know I hold no ill will towards her and I think she's amazing and I love her but she is definitely not for me. I literally told her that I hope she falls madly in love with someone and have the relationship she always dreamed of because we all deserve love. I'd love to remain friends but if not, I understand and wish her the best. She responded telling me she could never be friends with someone who bashes her and that I basically put her down and to lose her number. I tried to mend things but she wasn't having it so I wished her the best and let it be planning to never hear from her. A couple of days later she texted me wondering if I was out of town. I saw the notification but I was on a date. Plus I was a bit shook that she'd know if I was/wasn't out of town but figured it was a dating app or something. She then followed it up 10-20min later with more demanding texts about my whereabouts. Then an hour later demanding again. I had put my phone on DnD as I truly enjoyed my company and laughed more than I could remember on a date. I felt pretty disrespected and chose not to respond at all. A few days later she responded apologizing and wanting to be friends. I let her know we were cool and it was no problem. A few days later she asked if I was in town but I was out traveling again and joked if I should let her know my schedule. No response on her end but I think she can tell by my responses/lack of reaction I'm more than good. I can't thank the LC community enough. I've realized I deserve so much more. That the bare minimum of affection/attention is not good enough. I finally see the manipulation, disrespect, and dishonor I went through. There are plenty of people in this world who love me, more who will, and plenty that I do and will love. Thank you so much for the LC community. I've learned detachment, metacognition, boundaries, and the list goes on and on. If you've made it this far and you've just been through a break up with someone who didn't treat you right, please please please, do not walk away. RUN!!! I wake up peaceful. I wake up knowing I'm opening room for the right one. And my ex's ways no longer deter that. Choose love. Choose yourself. Edited July 1, 2021 by vwisme 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ithurts17 Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 Hi I hope your happily out there dating and having fun! the conversations sound vile she don’t sound very kind or caring which I understand during a break up it’s hard but sounds like you done it right! you wasn’t lying saying you need time or it’s not you it’s me you literally agreeed with everything she said n she still wanted more n more! ive not long had a break up randomly after meeting his parents (wasn’t actually bf and gf) I had to block him off fb Snapchat and WhatsApp but as a woman if you still like a guy that text, that effort to contact would melt my heart weather I want to admit that or not lol honestly sounds like your on the path for a good time, with the right person good luck, have fun and be honest 💕 Link to post Share on other sites
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