QuietRiot Posted July 3, 2021 Share Posted July 3, 2021 Had you ever been attracted to someone, but when you found out something about them that you knew you wouldn't be compatible with them, so passed on asking them out? For instance, I had pretty good chemistry with a woman at a Meetup, but when we met at a bonfire event, she straight up got wasted and got handsy with me. The smell of Vodka was quite off-putting, so we remained friends though. She found a gent that likes to indulge just as much, so it worked out for her. Then there was another, but she had way too much family drama going on. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 All the time. E.g. Guys that don’t drink. I don’t drink ( Asian flush/intolerance to alcohol ), but if the guy doesn’t drink, we’re not compatible,.., 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 4, 2021 Share Posted July 4, 2021 3 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: but if the guy doesn’t drink, we’re not compatible,. We would not be compatible so!, although my country is usually associated with drink, I have had only two drinks in the last four years, Yes on the topic , a hungarian girl Ive mentioned her a few times here, got along quite well enjoyed the banter with her, stunningly beautiful girl (like yourself) long dark blonde hair and ten years younger than me, still at the back of my mind Id say Im not really good enough for this girl, she will want a rugby player type and so on, I have been intimidated perhaps over the years by beautiful women- "maybe if had tried a bit harder there , if had been more confident with that one and so on" current girlfriend anyway has made me stop all contact with this hungarian, so that is probably for the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 On 7/3/2021 at 7:13 AM, QuietRiot said: Had you ever been attracted to someone, but when you found out something about them that you knew you wouldn't be compatible with them, so passed on asking them out? ... Oh yes, and if she wanted a follower of Dave Ramsey that would easily have me pass 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 On 7/3/2021 at 4:13 AM, QuietRiot said: I had pretty good chemistry with a woman at a Meetup, but when we met at a bonfire event, she straight up got wasted and got handsy with me. The smell of Vodka was quite off-putting Sometimes it's best to just order a diet pepsi. Link to post Share on other sites
HiCrunchy Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 yeah, i have totally been. Its such a bummer especially if you get along quite well but don't vibe romantically. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliforniaGirl Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Yes, because it's easy to be momentarily attracted to a person, but it's another thing to know you can probably go the distance, or at least that one of you won't get hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 5, 2021 Share Posted July 5, 2021 Yes, of course. Keep it real. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 All the time when l discover: They smoke Heavy drinker Enjoy clubbing Ex addict And the list goes on. A few days ago a friend of a friend on FB contacted me. Handsome man! I contacted our common friend and inquired about him. She said he was 6 months clean. Drug addict. Poof! My attraction died right there. Link to post Share on other sites
honey honey Posted July 6, 2021 Share Posted July 6, 2021 yes, but not just because "compatible" but a lot obstacles will be in our relationship just enough to make me sober Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 (edited) 17 hours ago, Gaeta said: All the time when l discover: They smoke Heavy drinker Enjoy clubbing Ex addict And the list goes on. A few days ago a friend of a friend on FB contacted me. Handsome man! I contacted our common friend and inquired about him. She said he was 6 months clean. Drug addict. Poof! My attraction died right there. Xxxx Edited July 7, 2021 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Sure all the time but I typically spend several years trying to date them. Ha! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 Almost always there is a compatibility problem. I think its fundamentally why some people struggle so much with dating to a point. Having said that often the issue can probably be imagined too, we think we are not compatible but never really try either. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, ZA Dater said: Almost always there is a compatibility problem. I think its fundamentally why some people struggle so much with dating to a point. Having said that often the issue can probably be imagined too, we think we are not compatible but never really try either. Any examples? Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted July 7, 2021 Author Share Posted July 7, 2021 On 7/6/2021 at 7:22 AM, Gaeta said: All the time when l discover: They smoke Heavy drinker Enjoy clubbing Ex addict And the list goes on. A few days ago a friend of a friend on FB contacted me. Handsome man! I contacted our common friend and inquired about him. She said he was 6 months clean. Drug addict. Poof! My attraction died right there. Hm, even if he's an EX-addict? Can he not be commended for that and thus be date-able (for you)? Or do you fear he may fall off the wagon? I was once getting to know this woman on a hike, in a hiking Meetup. She mentioned the last time she quite smoking was 2019, apparently she tried quitting smoking on more than one occasion, but started back up again. She claimed the 2019 attempt has been the longest so far. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 1 hour ago, QuietRiot said: Hm, even if he's an EX-addict? Can he not be commended for that and thus be date-able (for you)? My best friend is an ex-addict, clean 27 years. He told me it takes 5 years clean minimum to trust someone is passed their addiction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted July 7, 2021 Share Posted July 7, 2021 5 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Any examples? I think some compromise can be helpful, if the person is really great but there is one thing that is a deal breaker, then look at that and see if they really is relevant in that particular situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted July 8, 2021 Share Posted July 8, 2021 I've gone on dates with people I met on-line but realized soon after that we would not be compatible. The fact that I went on a date with them meant I was somewhat attracted to them. However, upon finding more about them, it dawned on me that it was never going to work out in the long term. Link to post Share on other sites
Love Yourself First Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 I could name 10 female coworkers I would of unquestionably been compatible with, but it would of been a bad look and by the time I left most were taken or butt hurt over getting rejected initially, not sharing my views on coworkers getting involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Coasting1991 Posted July 28, 2021 Share Posted July 28, 2021 I was once asked out by a friend of a friend. This girl is beautiful, smart, has a great career. I declined, because I knew that we wouldn't be compatible lifestyle wise. She's always posting on social media about vacation getaways, expensive dinners, cocktails in high end bars, etc. I'm a graduate student who lives paycheck to paycheck. The fact that she has money and a great career didn't bother me, in fact I found her ambition very attractive; I just knew that I couldn't match that lifestyle. Plus I'm outdoorsy kind of person, love to get dirty which isn't her vibe at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted July 29, 2021 Share Posted July 29, 2021 Yes, this has happened many times. Confession: I can be attracted to people who are not good in relationships, people let's say who are a bit quirky and strange. I literally have to catch myself before trying to get serious and to cut things off. The body-attraction mechanism is certainly not perfect. Is quite imperfect. That's why we need our head to come in and run a reality check. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tigerstripe40 Posted August 5, 2021 Share Posted August 5, 2021 Oh yes. She's some flavor of Christian, I am an atheist. There's Chemystery, and we've discussed dating, however, we both acknowledged that it would be pretty much FIRE for about 3-4 months then one of us would end the relationship (badly). Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 9, 2021 Share Posted August 9, 2021 (edited) Just had this happen recently. Met last Saturday at a show, he’s got dreads , striped shirt, and burgundy overalls … just a trinity of hot for me. Then he starts talking about anarcho-communism. Goodnight. I know I should have known, but I’m forever the optimist. Edited August 9, 2021 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted August 11, 2021 Share Posted August 11, 2021 On 8/9/2021 at 11:14 PM, Cookiesandough said: Just had this happen recently. Met last Saturday at a show, he’s got dreads , striped shirt, and burgundy overalls … just a trinity of hot for me. Then he starts talking about anarcho-communism. Goodnight. I know I should have known, but I’m forever the optimist. Jeepers that is quite a dating topic! I sometimes wonder if people think properly before brinigng those sorts of topics up, yes we are all guilty of it and in hindsight I ask myself why I said such ridiculous things. I think one of the compatibility issues people can face is the fact that there is little apparent need to try be more compatible because by and large dating is more accessible than it has been thanks to tech. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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