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Did I overeact?


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Daisy Dee64

I invited my best friend over to my bf house and we were drinking. I went to bed before them and after a while I came out to get a glass of water and found them dancing so close to each other in a sexy way, I could see on their faces that they were startled to see me and my bf quickly went to sit on the couch. I got so angry and lashed out at them, did I overeact? I need some advice 

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Pumpernickel

I don’t think you overreacted. Drunk people make bad decisions. Drinking frees you of certain inhibitions. Drunk kissing & sex happen more often than you think. If I were you, I would wonder forever what would’ve happened if I had left the bedroom 20 minutes later, or not until the next morning. You can of course file that incident under “drinking” and blame it on that alone. After that, however, make sure your BF - and you as well - don’t drink excessively. Some people can’t handle their liquor. Simple as that. 

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Daisy Dee64

[], my bf said there was nothing more to it but I just couldn't help my emotions and I guess I was also jealous. did I overeact? I need some advice... my friend apologized and said nothing was going on n that they were just dancing and she was sorry for being too comfortable around my guy I really don't know how to feel about it 

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No.

No one wants to walk in on their boyfriend/girlfriend dirty dancing intimately with their best friend.

Your feelings are warranted.

How long have you known this so called "best friend?"

What about your boyfriend? How are things otherwise in your relationship?

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26 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

No one wants to walk in on their boyfriend/girlfriend dirty dancing intimately with their best friend.

Agree. Why didn't your BF come to bed and the friend go home? Keep an eye on this situation. Could be drunken weirdness (though not an excuse) could be you need to lose one or both of them.

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You walked in on something untoward & spoke up.  Given the amount of alcohol consumed by everyone perhaps you could have been more diplomatic but that's hardly the point.  They shouldn't have been doing what you caught them doing.  

I'd re-evaluate both relationships.  The BF definitely has to go.  If this is how your BFF acts with you in the next room, what is she doing behind your back & what's your worst enemy doing? 

The whole thing stinks.  I go to bed earlier than most in my circle & have left my husband awake with all of our friends all the time.  Nothing like that ever happens.  There are lines that should not be crossed.  

Edited by d0nnivain
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3 hours ago, Alpaca said:

No one wants to walk in on their boyfriend/girlfriend dirty dancing intimately with their best friend.

How "close to each other and sexy" was it? Like this:

 

 

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14 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How "close to each other and sexy" was it? Like this:

 

 

That's too sexy. 🙈

 

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Be civil: don´t forget to sent both of them friendly greetings by New Year of 2051.

But nor earlier.

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Ahem, "friends" do not dance intimately with your partner whether you're in the room or not, and alcohol is no excuse. Choose better friends, your current bestie has no respect for your boundaries and nor does your BF, and he owes you an apology for trying to suggest you over-reacted. I'd be wanting to know who initiated the dancing, and I'd flush that vermin out of my life. 

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Lotsgoingon

Over-reacted? You're kidding me.

You might have under-reacted? Did you think of dumping bf? He showed you that you may not be able to trust him.

Had you shot bf and bff, that's an over reaction. Anything less than that, not an overreaction. And this is important by the way because people who worry that they're overreacting end up being pushovers. That's the risk. You have the right to get angry. 

 

Edited by Lotsgoingon
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honey honey

off course not!!!!,  even we didn't know they were drunk, you're eligible to shout your bf and your "best (that so not best i quess ) friend" 

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15 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Ahem, "friends" do not dance intimately with your partner whether you're in the room or not, and alcohol is no excuse. Choose better friends, your current bestie has no respect for your boundaries and nor does your BF, and he owes you an apology for trying to suggest you over-reacted. I'd be wanting to know who initiated the dancing, and I'd flush that vermin out of my life. 

I almost agree with you.

Just some small changes would make it better.

"Choose better friends and a better partner...."

That would make the following, even if true, to become a bit abstract.

"your current bestie has no respect for your boundaries and nor does your BF, and he owes you an apology for trying to suggest you over-reacted." 

"I'd be wanting to know who initiated the dancing"  In my personal view, the one who accepts is the willing accomplice of the one who initiates.

So.......

"and I'd flush that vermin out of my life. "   Should mean both of them and like yesterday. 

 

 

Edited by Uruktopi
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5 hours ago, smackie9 said:

They both totally over stepped boundaries....send them both sailing.

Saliling towards a shinny horizon with a one-way ticket.

And a "Do not return to sender" text. 

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On 7/5/2021 at 12:12 PM, Daisy Dee64 said:

I invited my best friend over to my bf house and we were drinking. I went to bed before them and after a while I came out to get a glass of water and found them dancing so close to each other in a sexy way, I could see on their faces that they were startled to see me and my bf quickly went to sit on the couch. I got so angry and lashed out at them, did I overeact? I need some advice 

Advice: Dump them both--they're trash and they mean you no good.

Your boyfriend and your BFF have been carrying on an emotional affair behind your back---the speed with which they would so what they did with you mere inches away says that they've gotten used to keeping you in the dark.

it goes without saying that your boyfriend is traaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash.  Tell him to keep that same energy when you step out with your new man who doesn't sexually involve himself with your so-called 'best friend' within 2 minutes of you turning your back.

You did not over-react. Not by any stretch of the imagination.  I'm sorry you had to find out your girl ain't $#!+, probably never was, the lying cow... she was only too happy to thrust that knife in your back.

Edited by kendahke
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stillafool
1 hour ago, kendahke said:

Advice: Dump them both--they're trash and they mean you no good.

Your boyfriend and your BFF have been carrying on an emotional affair behind your back---the speed with which they would so what they did with you mere inches away says that they've gotten used to keeping you in the dark.

I agree.  They're trash.  Your story reminds me of a woman I used to work with who told me she was the Godmother of her best friends kids.  She would spend her weekends at her friends house and they would all get drunk.  Her friend would always go to bed early and was a deep sleeper.  The woman and friends husband would have sex all night and he'd slip upstairs to his wife's bed before the sun came up and she woke up.  She was trash.  

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