Overcoming differing love languages with Asian dates

[Garcon1986]

For my background- I am a brand new male Chinese American cardiologist who is seeking dates of a variety of backgrounds, and has the most luck at the moment with , you guessed it, other Chinese folks (although I have the typical hungry man attitudes towards attractive Americans and Europeans having grown up in Britain). 
I just broke up with a reasonable woman after a 1 month relationship because of vastly different love languages (my needing more physical touch than her). I also have a problem with being attracted to almost unattainable Americans (the ones who need the hunky male cop to be satisfied). Think the physique of Melissa Theuriau. My question is- I am fairly certain that most Chinese women swing on the side of no heavy “petting” or intimacy until after marriage. Has anyone here ever managed to achieve middle ground on this with another Chinese woman? Thanks for your advice. 

[Gaeta]

You have to get rid of your preconceived ideas. Melissa Theuriau picked Jamel Debbouze who's nowhere near looking like a hunky cup.

I am a woman, l've been working for years with 2 Chinese women of first generation. Even after 20+ years in Canada they are very Chinese still in their thinking. That will not change. I suggest you find Chinese women of 2nd or 3rd generation. 

Edited July 6, 2021 by Gaeta

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Garcon1986 said:

I am fairly certain that most Chinese women swing on the side of no heavy “petting” or intimacy until after marriage. 

Are you more compatible with Chinese-American women or is it the expectation of your family that you should marry within your  culture?

[honey honey]

iam  Indonesia woman with Chinese blood inside :), 

in our culture, there is no "***" things before marriage, yes we are really conventional, but this is our way to honor our future husband.

i know this is not common there, but this is something that you should communicate with her. 

hope the best ^^

[SumGuy]

I have experience with only US women of Chinese ethnicity.  It depends, maybe because I was not what a stereotypical Chinese parent would want they liked me because they were not going to follow the stereotype.

As you are a doctor, cardiologist at that (and congratulations), you may well fall into the stereotypical role; so in my view you are more likely to attract those who are stereotypical and not attract those who want to get away from it.   I had a similar "problem" in my old age.  My solution was to put forth those non-stereotypical parts of me, and think of those that may put off those I do not want and attract those I do (I'm not talking negative traits like rudeness, bad hygiene and the like, just let my geek flag fly :) )

It may be the ones you meet, but there is no one body type all US women want one does not need to be a hunky, as you describe, at all.   Now in shape does help immensely.

[glows]

Ridiculous. Please avoid the stereotypes about race and culture and continue to date according to your preferences (not race-related). You'll come off as a lot less insecure and racist. 

[mark clemson]

Grats on the GF, Garcon + too bad it ended.

Just wondering - did you ever read A Billion Wicked Thoughts as I suggested in one of your prior threads? Think perhaps you might be in a position to be able to understand and eventually learn to apply some of the content on what's attractive to women.

[Garcon1986]

12 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Are you more compatible with Chinese-American women or is it the expectation of your family that you should marry within your  culture?

I would be fine with Chinese or not Chinese. I've successfully fought my family in regards to only marrying Chinese. I unfortunately have very little luck impressing Americans. 

[chillii]

6 hours ago, Garcon1986 said:

I would be fine with Chinese or not Chinese. I've successfully fought my family in regards to only marrying Chinese. I unfortunately have very little luck impressing Americans. 

But wth would you want especially an American woman anyway if forums are any guide. Just look for someone you like and could see a future with in whatever form she may be and see how things go.

Edited July 7, 2021 by chillii