Venting not you it's me

[Ithurts17]

This is vent/ cry for strong words as I know it’s not right but part of me still wants it back 

 

I’m 31 a 25 year old I’ve known years contacted me, cut a long story short it was lockdown he would come early drop me to work send morning pictures daily everything till all that just stopped. He said he wouldn’t go back into stripping if he was in relationship/likened someone, 

 

He planned for me to meet his mom on the Friday went back to stripping on the Saturday on the Sunday I woke up to his Snapchat story out middle of the night with girls, he hasn’t ever posted me so that hurt. 

 

I opened up n let him know my mom was abused and sometimes I carry a lot on the Tuesday n he ended it the Thursday 

 

He started to let me down not text each morning, would care about himself during sex saw me less etc said I don’t need to be sad etc I have him.

 

I hate work my boss is a jerk he would make sure I’m ok during shift

 

 

I have never ever let my mom meet a lad but she met him 

 

He wanted me to move oz next year carry his child 

 

For him to say I can only apologise…..

 

I did loose myself as we wasn’t bf n gf but he kept filling my head but things like posting other girls and commenting sexy boo etc on other girls accounts I ignored. I didn’t talk or get on anyone else as I thought we was preparing to be official 

 

 

 

 

He said I treated him as a king n he enjoyed it, only almost a week 

 

Why did he play/use me there are millions of other girls 😩 so yeah this started in January n he hit me with it’s not you it’s me July 

 

see his car colour a lot and I still think I will get a text or a call n everything will be okay 

Edited July 6, 2021 by Ithurts17
More info

[Wiseman2]

He's a male stripper? Perhaps he makes good money, so either you accept or end it.

What does "wants me go oz carry his child" mean? 

Is he moving? 

You seem incompatible so reflect if you can deal with who he is.

[Ithurts17]

He stopped stripping during his last relationship, I had said if he wanted to do it do it I’m not his mother If I saw any issue I would have addressed it 

 

he wanted me to move Australia with him yeah 

 

I thought we was great I met his mom 4 days before this text 

 

You have nothing to be sorry for you did everything right and everything perfect , honestly this is all on me and I’m so sorry for hurting you the way I have x 

 

 

 

[Ithurts17]

He used to post other girls pictures 

stopped showing up 

stopped being all over me then hit me with 

I always would be like if we ain’t getting together we don’t need to walk around and he used to walk me around holding hands etc 

 

You have nothing to be sorry for you did everything right and everything perfect , honestly this is all on me and I’m so sorry for hurting you the way I have x 

 

I replied he hasn’t even read reply no reply is a reply but it’s just a lot  to accept he’s just turned his feelings off  

[d0nnivain]

It was lockdown.  There weren't many options for anybody while the world was closed. He certainly couldn't do his "job" of stripping.  You treated him like a king, according to you, so he did & said what he had to do while lockdown was going on because you made things easy.  Once the world opened back up, he didn't need you any more.  It must be very painful to have been used so blatantly.   But he meant what he said in the last text -- this was him you could not have changed the outcome.  

If you hate your job, get a different one.  There is no reason to stay where you are unhappy.  You control your own destiny so fix what can be improved.  

In all candor I was a bit taken aback by your posted age -- 31.  The things you are focused on make you seem very young / naïve.  It's like you want to live in a romance movie, not reality.    In response to another thread you lament that this guy isn't responding to your texts now that he has ended things with you.  I get that the silence hurts but he's gone NC in part to protect you from yourself & not send mixed messages; if he answered you then you would get false hope that this could be fixed.  It can't.  He's done because you have outlived your usefulness to him.  There's truth to the saying "It's cruel to be kind."  He is making it crystal clear that he's done.  Sorry. 

This was probably fun while it lasted but now is time to accept reality.  It's over.  You can grieve the loss but you have to move forward.  

Edited July 6, 2021 by d0nnivain

[Ithurts17]

4 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

It was lockdown.  There weren't many options for anybody while the world was closed. He certainly couldn't do his "job" of stripping.  You treated him like a king, according to you, so he did & said what he had to do while lockdown was going on because you made things easy.  Once the world opened back up, he didn't need you any more.  It must be very painful to have been used so blatantly.   But he meant what he said in the last text -- this was him you could not have changed the outcome.  

If you hate your job, get a different one.  There is no reason to stay where you are unhappy.  You control your own destiny so fix what can be improved.  

In all candor I was a bit taken aback by your posted age -- 31.  The things you are focused on make you seem very young / naïve.  It's like you want to live in a romance movie, not reality.    In response to another thread you lament that this guy isn't responding to your texts now that he has ended things with you.  I get that the silence hurts but he's gone NC in part to protect you from yourself & not send mixed messages; if he answered you then you would get false hope that this could be fixed.  It can't.  He's done because you have outlived your usefulness to him.  There's truth to the saying "It's cruel to be kind."  He is making it crystal clear that he's done.  Sorry. 

This was probably fun while it lasted but now is time to accept reality.  It's over.  You can grieve the loss but you have to move forward.  

So yeah I keep myself away from men and them filling my head up I’m the only girl in my family and my mom let’s say had a hard upbringing and my dad has 3 kids for my mom and 3 for another lady I understand you live and learn but I avoid men getting deep usually, I ignored a lot of red flags 

 

I met his mom on the Friday he went out Saturday after stripping and posted other girls on his story said he was coming to see me wed n yeah hit me with the texts, yeah it hurts 

 

 

job and lockdown my cleaning job is a side job to my other x2 business like mornings he would stay awake and make sure I was in ok it’s not a massive deal but was nice he was there for me. 
 

at 31 I’ve never asked my mom to meet anyone walking around ppl seeing us etc suppose that’s embarrassed more but yeah 

 

he said he wanted children, to live with me move away together went out n yeah done with me, 

 

I keep seeing his car (not his but same make and colour) 

 

we wasn’t together but planned on taking that step it dose hurt and I know I was used 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Ithurts17 said:

I keep seeing his car (not his but same make and colour) 

Is there any significance to this?

[Ithurts17]

It’s also less than x2 weeks before my birthday 

 

I was dumb enough to believe everything he said so I’m not sure why I’m so shocked that he used me, looking at the entire relationship I did treat him like a king he said it he would say I’ll come over wed I’ll come see you this day like everything that was said didn’t need to be 

 

he new me around 10 years prior to our 6 month romance 

[Ithurts17]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is there any significance to this?

😂 sorry I just mean I want him out of my head n still think he will realise he’s made a mistake but I feel so it’s irrelevant also 

[Ithurts17]

20 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

It was lockdown.  There weren't many options for anybody while the world was closed. He certainly couldn't do his "job" of stripping.  You treated him like a king, according to you, so he did & said what he had to do while lockdown was going on because you made things easy.  Once the world opened back up, he didn't need you any more.  It must be very painful to have been used so blatantly.   But he meant what he said in the last text -- this was him you could not have changed the outcome.  

If you hate your job, get a different one.  There is no reason to stay where you are unhappy.  You control your own destiny so fix what can be improved.  

In all candor I was a bit taken aback by your posted age -- 31.  The things you are focused on make you seem very young / naïve.  It's like you want to live in a romance movie, not reality.    In response to another thread you lament that this guy isn't responding to your texts now that he has ended things with you.  I get that the silence hurts but he's gone NC in part to protect you from yourself & not send mixed messages; if he answered you then you would get false hope that this could be fixed.  It can't.  He's done because you have outlived your usefulness to him.  There's truth to the saying "It's cruel to be kind."  He is making it crystal clear that he's done.  Sorry. 

This was probably fun while it lasted but now is time to accept reality.  It's over.  You can grieve the loss but you have to move forward.  

I honestly thank you for your honesty and time replying 

[Cookiesandough]

 🎶 you fell in love with a stripperrrr  🎶 

Thats a bad idea. Sorry this happened to you. Full nc  if you haven’t already and try not to blame yourself too much!!! The right person for you would never do this to you🖤

Edited July 6, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Ithurts17]

1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said:

 🎶 you fell in love with a stripperrrr  🎶 

Thats a bad idea. Sorry this happened to you. Full nc  if you haven’t already and try not to blame yourself too much!!! The right person for you would never do this to you🖤

He said he wouldn’t go back into it or wouldn’t with a gf while in my bed next thing he was covering and then changed his Instagram to the company name 3 days after meeting his mom and we was meant to move away next year he said he needs to alone, which is fine but why invite me?!😩🤯🙃

[Ithurts17]

3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

 🎶 you fell in love with a stripperrrr  🎶 

Thats a bad idea. Sorry this happened to you. Full nc  if you haven’t already and try not to blame yourself too much!!! The right person for you would never do this to you🖤

He has said sorry for the hurt, and I’m not like I was at the start but I can’t shake the want for him to show up or text me and say he’s fuked up but yeah I’m in this mess from avoiding men 😩

[d0nnivain]

Happy upcoming birthday two weeks in advance.  You need to plan something fun for yourself to get your mind off this heartache even for a while. 

 

21 minutes ago, Ithurts17 said:

 I want him out of my head n still think he will realise he’s made a mistake 

It will be good when he gets out of your head. 

Unfortunately since you knew him for 10 years -- since you were 21 & he was 15 -- but you only had this short lived romance for 6 months during lock-down I don't think he's going to come back.  You were somebody he was with when his regular playmates were unavailable.  He took advantage of the situation & your loneliness.  I'm sorry but he used you because you were there.  In your loneliness you let him because it felt good at the time.  The isolation of Covid made us all open to possibilities we may have otherwise overlooked.  

[Cookiesandough]

19 minutes ago, Ithurts17 said:

He has said sorry for the hurt, and I’m not like I was at the start but I can’t shake the want for him to show up or text me and say he’s fuked up but yeah I’m in this mess from avoiding men 😩

I think he will come back. It might be a while,  but exes seem to return . hopefully you will be moved on by then because he’s all wrong . Stay nc

Edited July 6, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Ithurts17]

1 minute ago, d0nnivain said:

Happy upcoming birthday two weeks in advance.  You need to plan something fun for yourself to get your mind off this heartache even for a while. 

 

It will be good when he gets out of your head. 

Unfortunately since you knew him for 10 years -- since you were 21 & he was 15 -- but you only had this short lived romance for 6 months during lock-down I don't think he's going to come back.  You were somebody he was with when his regular playmates were unavailable.  He took advantage of the situation & your loneliness.  I'm sorry but he used you because you were there.  In your loneliness you let him because it felt good at the time.  The isolation of Covid made us all open to possibilities we may have otherwise overlooked.  

Yeah he was about 17 when I new him before, never ever seen him in a sexual way even when he was pushing I was like go out your young but he said he wanted me, he’s out my head of the sad part I don’t even want to question why I’m not waiting for him to come back I just need to vent n see things from the eyes of others. 
 

yeah he used me he new exactly what he was doing now he’s off to lap up the lady’s attention stripping I mean he played a blinder

[Ithurts17]

9 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

I think he will come back. It might be a while,  but exes seem to return . hopefully you will be moved on by then because he’s all wrong . Stay nc

I’m in nc he either changed his settings to delivered or didn’t read my reply, I took him off Snapchat he said he thought we could still be friends I explained I had feelings 

 

contacted his mom and thanked her for welcoming me and she didn’t even know yet 

 

even you saying he will come back after everything he has done I’m still like will he 😩💭🤒

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Ithurts17 said:

yeah he used me he new exactly what he was doing now he’s off to lap up the lady’s attention stripping I mean he played a blinder

Is a blinder like those teeny weeny bikini briefs?

[Ithurts17]

13 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Is a blinder like those teeny weeny bikini briefs?

😂😂 I meant played a good game but I realised I just get needy at times 

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, Ithurts17 said:

😂😂 I meant played a good game but I realised I just get needy at times 

Okay.

Well, it's over now.

I hope you can move forward and find some solace.

[Ithurts17]

Bullet dodged I hold my head high 

7 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

Okay.

Well, it's over now.

I hope you can move forward and find some solace.

 

[LynneVicious]

Op,

You mentioned a few times that he used you. What did he use you for? Also, it sounds like his text broke up with you. He didn’t cheat, no? Or do anything equally as bad?

My point is people are allowed to change feelings and break up with someone. It doesn’t make them a bad person.

To heal, you need to go No Contact and block him on your phone. It will be better with time. Sorry you’re hurting. Breakups suck. 

[Ithurts17]

3 hours ago, LynneVicious said:

Op,

You mentioned a few times that he used you. What did he use you for? Also, it sounds like his text broke up with you. He didn’t cheat, no? Or do anything equally as bad?

My point is people are allowed to change feelings and break up with someone. It doesn’t make them a bad person.

To heal, you need to go No Contact and block him on your phone. It will be better with time. Sorry you’re hurting. Breakups suck. 

Yeah was mainly a vent, time is a healer especially remembering being treated like poop thanks for kind words