Thoughts on a girl flirting then turning away a kiss

[Seabreeze1]

I met this girl through a friend of mine months ago. They recently stopped talking so I knew if I wanted to hang out with the girl I’m interested in, I would have to reach out and make plans with her myself- so I did. First time we hung out, I invited just her to a party I was going to which she came to and we had a great time. Nothing happened that night but we talked about getting people together to play volleyball the next day. She met up with me and some of my friends that day and at one point asked if I wanted to go see a movie afterwards. So after volleyball, her and I grabbed a bite to eat somewhere then went to the movie.

I picked up on a few things that I took as flirting (ie. While walking, she would cling onto my arm, in the movie I made her laugh and she very briefly put her head on my shoulder; and at one point Slapped my butt; which I did back). After the movie we talked outside her car for at least 30 mins but when it came time to saying goodbye, we hugged good night. I b*tched out but immediately regretted it. The vibe I got was that she was waiting for me to make a move but I chickened out. 
 

fast forward 4 days, I invited her out to dinner and drinks. We met up, had a great time and there were times where when she laughed, she’d reach over the table to touch my arm. But overall, I didn’t feel the same vibe as a few nights prior. At the end of the night, I decided to just go for the kiss and she turned her head with a smirk on her face and gave me her cheek instead. 

I realize it could be she just wasn’t into it at the time and/or just wasn’t expecting me to do that so she was totally caught off guard. But anyway, any thoughts on this?

 

[cleverusername]

One more date, she doesn't kiss you move on. She may have just been super horny the first time

[d0nnivain]

She may have liked the flirty but not been ready.  I agree with one more date.  Try to create a romantic setting & then go for the kiss.  If she isn't into that she may have already friendzoned you

[Seabreeze1]

3 hours ago, Seabreeze1 said:

I met this girl through a friend of mine months ago. They recently stopped talking so I knew if I wanted to hang out with the girl I’m interested in, I would have to reach out and make plans with her myself- so I did. First time we hung out, I invited just her to a party I was going to which she came to and we had a great time. Nothing happened that night but we talked about getting people together to play volleyball the next day. She met up with me and some of my friends that day and at one point asked if I wanted to go see a movie afterwards. So after volleyball, her and I grabbed a bite to eat somewhere then went to the movie.

I picked up on a few things that I took as flirting (ie. While walking, she would cling onto my arm, in the movie I made her laugh and she very briefly put her head on my shoulder; and at one point Slapped my butt; which I did back). After the movie we talked outside her car for at least 30 mins but when it came time to saying goodbye, we hugged good night. I b*tched out but immediately regretted it. The vibe I got was that she was waiting for me to make a move but I chickened out. 
 

fast forward 4 days, I invited her out to dinner and drinks. We met up, had a great time and there were times where when she laughed, she’d reach over the table to touch my arm. But overall, I didn’t feel the same vibe as a few nights prior. At the end of the night, I decided to just go for the kiss and she turned her head with a smirk on her face and gave me her cheek instead. 

I realize it could be she just wasn’t into it at the time and/or just wasn’t expecting me to do that so she was totally caught off guard. But anyway, any thoughts on this?

 

Also a few other bits of information:

She’s an au pair so I doubt she’s even looking for anything serious as she’s not likely to be here in the long term. Tho I do like her, I’m ok with just the physical stuff. 

The last time we went out, she did mention she made up with the other girl so I guess that could’ve also been a reason for the “rejection”. Maybe she knew she would’ve felt bad for kissing me now that they are friends again. They were always super close and I know she feels bad for even hanging out with me behind the other girls back as we agreed the other girl didn’t need to know.

 

that being said, i don’t even know if another “date” is in the cards at this point. Just feels like a messy situation.

[Yosemite]

38 minutes ago, Seabreeze1 said:

The last time we went out, she did mention she made up with the other girl so I guess that could’ve also been a reason for the “rejection”. Maybe she knew she would’ve felt bad for kissing me now that they are friends again.

Are you also a girl? 

Girls can be touchy-feely with other girls without any romantic intent,  so it can be unclear if there's romantic interest or not. 

If you're a guy...it could be that because she's gay she's not interested in you for more than friends. 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Seabreeze1 said:

 I decided to just go for the kiss and she turned her head with a smirk on her face and gave me her cheek instead.

If you really like her, try one more one-on-one date, make it relaxed.

Maybe she's nervous. She seems into you and this doesn't seem like friendzoning so far.

If on the next date you get a friendzone vibe, then just stop asking her out.

[smackie9]

Sounds like a case of revenge dating. just did it to make herself feel needed/better.

[Miss Spider]

5 hours ago, Seabreeze1 said:

While walking, she would cling onto my arm, in the movie I made her laugh and she very briefly put her head on my shoulder; and at one point Slapped my butt; which I did back).

 

She doesn’t sound that shy/reserved. My guess is not into you like that but likes to flirt  Abort 

Edited July 6, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[glows]

Why did your friend and her stop talking? Was this "friend" an ex?

I ask to get a sense of the nature of your association to start. If it's already suspect and inappropriate, it's not going to go anywhere. 

The vibes were off but you went against your better judgment for the kiss so no surprise if she turned it down. See whether she's up for another date and go from there. Maybe you had too many onion rings or garlic fries for dinner. Not everyone kisses that early so I wouldn't overthink this if she's not a friend of an ex etc.