do they actually leave?

[Allupinnit]

Just now, Myabee said:

That's really nice to say. Yes I think he did bail because of that. 23 days today... seems almost impossible it's been that long. The book This is me letting you go by Heidi Priebe is excellent. I did write a long letter to xmm plan to share with my therapist today at appointment.  

Proud of you!!  Keep trucking!!!

[Myabee]

2 hours ago, Allupinnit said:

Proud of you!!  Keep trucking!!!

Reading books helps.😊 

[RebeccaR]

1 hour ago, Myabee said:

Reading books helps.😊 

This article might be helpful, it’s the best thing I’ve read on the topic:

3 Things I Learned from Stopping All Communication After My Breakup
 

[Myabee]

3 hours ago, RebeccaR said:

This article might be helpful, it’s the best thing I’ve read on the topic:

3 Things I Learned from Stopping All Communication After My Breakup
 

Thank you❤️ I'm reading so many books... and articles. 

[Myabee]

16 hours ago, Myabee said:

Thank you❤️ I'm reading so many books... and articles. 

I wanted to update you all to say my therapist thinks My letter to Xmm is terrific and she said do mail it. Put it all out there and get yourself some closure if that's what it takes. So I will be safely sending it not expecting nor needing  any kind of response. I feel good about this decision. We all have to do what we need to move forward. I feel freeeee

[vla1120]

2 minutes ago, Myabee said:

I feel good about this decision. We all have to do what we need to move forward. I feel freeeee

If this is what you need to do to feel there is closure, then I'm glad you're sending it and I am glad you feel free!

[Myabee]

35 minutes ago, vla1120 said:

If this is what you need to do to feel there is closure, then I'm glad you're sending it and I am glad you feel free!

It is!!!!😊😊😊

[Allupinnit]

5 hours ago, Myabee said:

I wanted to update you all to say my therapist thinks My letter to Xmm is terrific and she said do mail it. Put it all out there and get yourself some closure if that's what it takes. So I will be safely sending it not expecting nor needing  any kind of response. I feel good about this decision. We all have to do what we need to move forward. I feel freeeee

Are you sending it to his house?  What if his wife sees it?  Are you secretly hoping for that?

[Myabee]

1 hour ago, Allupinnit said:

Are you sending it to his house?  What if his wife sees it?  Are you secretly hoping for that?

Oh lord no not to his house and it has zero affair details... it's very generic 

[Myabee]

So...  I wanted to post an update. Tomorrow 1 month no contact. I will say things are finally getting easier. I do not miss being the OW as it was a horrfic roll to play. After about two weeks, The texting addiction wore off. I found new people to converse with people who are good for me. I did mail that letter  to a safe location it was my way of closure. I imagine he has received it by now. I do not expect any response and if I get one I will ignore it. Putting my feelings in that letter and tossing it out there was freeing to me. I know some will say not the best idea, However I'm from the school of thought that we all heal in our own way and on our own time line. Also... anyone who might be trying to end an affair, It can be down. Fall down 7 times stand up 8. You got this. 

 

Myabee xx

[SouthernIslander]

On 12/18/2021 at 11:24 AM, Myabee said:

So...  I wanted to post an update. Tomorrow 1 month no contact. I will say things are finally getting easier. I do not miss being the OW as it was a horrfic roll to play. After about two weeks, The texting addiction wore off. I found new people to converse with people who are good for me. I did mail that letter  to a safe location it was my way of closure. I imagine he has received it by now. I do not expect any response and if I get one I will ignore it. Putting my feelings in that letter and tossing it out there was freeing to me. I know some will say not the best idea, However I'm from the school of thought that we all heal in our own way and on our own time line. Also... anyone who might be trying to end an affair, It can be down. Fall down 7 times stand up 8. You got this. 

 

Myabee xx

Sometimes you have to create your own closure to help you let go of the negative feelings toward him and yourself for getting in the situation.   If that is a letter, that’s not a bad idea as long as you go no contact after that.

A married man removing you from his life (or visa versa) is always a good thing and the first step to moving in a positive direction.  I have read your thread and really do wish you the best.

[Myabee]

7 hours ago, SouthernIslander said:

Sometimes you have to create your own closure to help you let go of the negative feelings toward him and yourself for getting in the situation.   If that is a letter, that’s not a bad idea as long as you go no contact after that.

A married man removing you from his life (or visa versa) is always a good thing and the first step to moving in a positive direction.  I have read your thread and really do wish you the best.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of that. No contact will exist since letter was sent. He will not reach out nor will I. I was lied to and used bigtime for his own selfish agenda. My guess is he is doing this with someone else. someone the wife is unaware of. Better off yes! 

[SouthernIslander]

On 12/21/2021 at 8:07 AM, Myabee said:

Thank you for taking the time to read all of that. No contact will exist since letter was sent. He will not reach out nor will I. I was lied to and used bigtime for his own selfish agenda. My guess is he is doing this with someone else. someone the wife is unaware of. Better off yes! 

Anytime, hang in there.  🤗

[Myabee]

1 hour ago, SouthernIslander said:

Anytime, hang in there.  🤗

Thank you... trying.. day by day😊

[Myabee]

On 12/22/2021 at 8:53 PM, Myabee said:

Thank you... trying.. day by day😊

Merry Christmas to all you awesome peeps... 🎄🎅

I'm struggling a bit with thoughts of XMM... hard to think of closing out a year with him gone.😢 Day by day... I'm human and this is hard.  

 

xx Myabeeeeeee! 

[glows]

43 minutes ago, Myabee said:

Merry Christmas to all you awesome peeps... 🎄🎅

I'm struggling a bit with thoughts of XMM... hard to think of closing out a year with him gone.😢 Day by day... I'm human and this is hard.  

 

xx Myabeeeeeee! 

Merry Christmas!

[Starswillshine]

On 12/21/2021 at 9:07 AM, Myabee said:

Thank you for taking the time to read all of that. No contact will exist since letter was sent. He will not reach out nor will I. I was lied to and used bigtime for his own selfish agenda. My guess is he is doing this with someone else. someone the wife is unaware of. Better off yes! 

Merry Christmas! Wish you and yours the best! 

I'm sure it is really hard this holiday season, but think of closing out this year by closing the door on this chapter in your life and ending of the book only to open a new book to your life. The world is wide open to you and the possibilities are endless!!!!

[Myabee]

6 hours ago, Starswillshine said:

Merry Christmas! Wish you and yours the best! 

I'm sure it is really hard this holiday season, but think of closing out this year by closing the door on this chapter in your life and ending of the book only to open a new book to your life. The world is wide open to you and the possibilities are endless!!!!

Merry Christmas🎄 Closing the door yes.. still hurts... i will get there. Xxxx Thank u 

[Myabee]

On 12/24/2021 at 10:44 PM, Myabee said:

Merry Christmas🎄 Closing the door yes.. still hurts... i will get there. Xxxx Thank u 

Just having a really hard time tonight missing him. I have been sooo much better then it hits hard again. Will be 6 weeks this Friday... 

Edited December 30, 2021 by Myabee

[glows]

Agree. Do stay strong. Remember the sublime peace not dealing with his baggage and issues and the endless cycle of confusion and disappointment? You don’t have to ever deal with it again. Keep reminding yourself of that. 

[Myabee]

8 hours ago, S2B said:

Stay strong. He offers you nothing but empty promises and lies.

The thing is, He really never offered empty promises it pretty much stated all like it was. However, I do see now some major fabrications with regards to his marriage that I missed for months. But this MM unlike many I am reading about... was nothing like those others that said they were leaving and made no plans to follow through.. I give him justca small once of credit there. On the flip side, you don't use another person for your own selfish needs to be meet. I was in a postion of more freedom from a marriage then he was so I feel like I did not use him. We connected deeply in all aspects of conversation and thats hard to find. I miss those exchanges so badly and the perspectives he had to offer. I recently browsed a few singles dating sights. No account just looking... I cringed at whats out there. especially for my age group. Very tough. 😢 

Edited December 30, 2021 by Myabee

[Myabee]

5 hours ago, glows said:

Agree. Do stay strong. Remember the sublime peace not dealing with his baggage and issues and the endless cycle of confusion and disappointment? You don’t have to ever deal with it again. Keep reminding yourself of that. 

Thing is... I would deal with him again if he had moved in his thinking to a different place. Tossing the cowardliness and walking away from a marriage that no longer serves him.  

[Snakesalive]

On 12/30/2021 at 11:09 AM, Myabee said:

Thing is... I would deal with him again if he had moved in his thinking to a different place. Tossing the cowardliness and walking away from a marriage that no longer serves him.  

Well done for taking control and making the best choice to leave this relationship.
 

If it helps I’m a year no contact and feel a sense of peace , gratitude and calm I haven’t felt in several years -I’m sure you will too -one day at a time . 
I’ve gone through so many emotions :sadness, terrible guilt, regret -I don’t know what I would have done without therapy  , support from this forum and other sources but as you’re finding out it is possible to live a better life 

The journey you’re on will have bumps in the road but you’re on the right path -trust in yourself and as Einstein said “learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for the future” 

2022 is a new year I truly hope it brings you what you deserve . Keep posting when you need , lots of hugs 

 

[Myabee]

3 hours ago, Snakesalive said:

Well done for taking control and making the best choice to leave this relationship.
 

If it helps I’m a year no contact and feel a sense of peace , gratitude and calm I haven’t felt in several years -I’m sure you will too -one day at a time . 
I’ve gone through so many emotions :sadness, terrible guilt, regret -I don’t know what I would have done without therapy  , support from this forum and other sources but as you’re finding out it is possible to live a better life 

The journey you’re on will have bumps in the road but you’re on the right path -trust in yourself and as Einstein said “learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for the future” 

2022 is a new year I truly hope it brings you what you deserve . Keep posting when you need , lots of hugs 

 

Thank you. I just last night removed his name from my phone. He's not coming back. He lied... better off without him. Congrats on a year.

[Myabee]

Update!!

So I guess my curiosity got the best of me. I used a fake number to text MM. I wrote this:

 

Hi. I am just reaching out to know that you are ok. It's real important for me to know that. If there is any possible way to send me a sign that is the case it would be super great. Thanks...

 

Then this...

I guess I will be booking a flight to see for myself. 

 

The second one did get me a reply a reply that was of this. I promised blank I would not contact you any more. 

I babbled on a bit more since I generated a response.After I typed the part I guess we can't be friends ever again I got back.

I can't talk to you. I should not even be having this convesrsation

 

So in my mind I was right. On that day in Nov he choose for whatever reason to just stop contact. I do not believe him for one minute that he made any such promise. And if he did it's complete bs because he can't talk to me but can chat with all the other women he is in touch with daily. I'm not stupid. And like the coward that he is he could not even give me anymore then that. I suppose 18 months was wasted on a lier who is clearly going  to continue on with women behind his wifes back have his cake and eat it too as long as she knows nothing about then. But if and when she does... then it's time to tell them he made a promise of NC😂 Oh boy well this Wife in truly in for it with this MM because he is a pos. 

 

The END!