d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 4 hours ago, Zebarbu said: I don't really see the use of confirming, especially if she said yes when you initially asked her out. I have a schedule I can't always control. So I confirm everything & so do most people around me. I don't assume that somebody who made a plan with me a week ago can keep it if I haven't confirmed that within 18-24 hours of when we're meeting. To me it's just common courtesy; people get busy & life happens. Think about it -- there's a reason your doctor calls you the day before to remind you of an upcoming appointment. 2 hours ago, Zebarbu said: She's cancelled. No reschedule. I'm sorry she cancelled. Small silver lining: you called it. You knew this would happen & it did. So at least you can trust yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 Yeah, when it's over, it's over and should stay over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 27 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: I'm sorry she cancelled. Small silver lining: you called it. You knew this would happen & it did. So at least you can trust yourself. Don't be sorry, it happens. At least now I know where I stand Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 She's rescheduled... She's told me her schedule for next week... she's even asked if we can still do it tonight. I'm not going to move the party I'm going to, that's for sure - he's a great friend who asked me a couple days ago, I told him if my plans (the date) fell through I would go. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 That's fine. Do pick a date next week & do confirm closer in time to the event. Now have a little faith & a lot of fun at tonight's party. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: That's fine. Do pick a date next week & do confirm closer in time to the event. Now have a little faith & a lot of fun at tonight's party. Thinking of just sending her "Sorry I've made other plans for tonight, but I'd love to see you next week how does (X day) sound?" Something like that of sorts 2 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 6 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: For me... if I set a date at a restaurant, I get there early and have a beer at the bar and wait for the woman to show up. She knows what you look like, so if she texts you when she gets there let her know where you are. Most women arrive a few minutes late, so don't panic and don't text/call her with a "Where are you at??" If she is over 30 minutes late, order yourself a nice steak and eat it at the bar (along with a couple of pints of Guinness) Treat yourself to a nice dinner, either way. A wise Hindu man once told me "Control the controllables"... If you can't control it, don't worry about it. You can't control whether she'll show up or not, so don't worry about it. Relax... dating should be fun, not stressful. ETA: Me (Personally)... I don't confirm dates, if she doesn't show (after plans were set) then you weren't important enough to her to put the date on her calendar and I wouldn't date her (if I were you). unrelated, just wanted to note that this is AWESOME advice for any preplanned date situation. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 8 minutes ago, Zebarbu said: Thinking of just sending her "Sorry I've made other plans for tonight, but I'd love to see you next week how does (X day) sound?" Something like that of sorts why not invite her to the party? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 9, 2021 Author Share Posted July 9, 2021 (edited) 3 hours ago, flitzanu said: unrelated, just wanted to note that this is AWESOME advice for any preplanned date situation. It really is, I agree 3 hours ago, flitzanu said: why not invite her to the party? I could, it's just it's a small get together and idk doesn't feel cool on my friend to add someone the day of the party. I'm just going to tell her it won't be possible tonight, but I'd like to see her week and I'll be in touch to set a date And then here at my place, I share a flat, and my current flatmates are bad... bar one or two of them. Nosey loudmouths and we wouldn't have the time of day if I invited her back her for drinks and to cook dinner together. Edited July 9, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 So you were supposed to meet tonight, she asked if you can still meet tonight, and you are going to reschedule for next week to go to a party? Wow you have a lot to learn about women. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 9, 2021 Share Posted July 9, 2021 8 hours ago, Zebarbu said: She's cancelled. 3 hours ago, Punterxx said: So you were supposed to meet tonight, she asked if you can still meet tonight, and you are going to reschedule for next week to go to a party? Wow you have a lot to learn about women. It appears she cancelled earlier in the day and he is attempting to reschedule for next week. The party was his "Plan B" if she cancelled... Link to post Share on other sites
scotchnstout Posted July 10, 2021 Share Posted July 10, 2021 Bro just take it a day at a time, try not to be so anxious. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 10, 2021 Author Share Posted July 10, 2021 19 hours ago, Punterxx said: So you were supposed to meet tonight, she asked if you can still meet tonight, and you are going to reschedule for next week to go to a party? Wow you have a lot to learn about women. She cancelled on me, I had a plan b. I don’t see the issue. you have a lot to learn about self-respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 14, 2021 Author Share Posted July 14, 2021 Right, so tomorrow night is the "rescheduled" date. Of course my anxiety is going up and that's pretty much down to me thinking she's going to end up cancelling again. If she does, that'll be it though. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 14, 2021 Share Posted July 14, 2021 24 minutes ago, Zebarbu said: Of course my anxiety is going up and that's pretty much down to me thinking she's going to end up cancelling again. Or you could look at the other side of the coin... and instead of thinking she is going to cancel, tell yourself how exciting its going to be to go on a date with a new person. Turn that anxiety into joyful anticipation at the possibilities of what this date could turn into. I can remember the first date I had with my current long term girlfriend. I never thought that we'd still be together 9.5 years later. Think about the positive aspects and possibilities, not that she is going to cancel... Dating is fun, enjoy the experience!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 14, 2021 Share Posted July 14, 2021 42 minutes ago, Zebarbu said: Right, so tomorrow night is the "rescheduled" date. Of course my anxiety is going up and that's pretty much down to me thinking she's going to end up cancelling again. If she does, that'll be it though. Can you go out and busy yourself for awhile? Of course the idea of anyone cancelling is frustrating. If she keeps doing that, then no, don't see her again. Your time is precious also. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted July 14, 2021 Share Posted July 14, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, Zebarbu said: Right, so tomorrow night is the "rescheduled" date. Of course my anxiety is going up and that's pretty much down to me thinking she's going to end up cancelling again. If she does, that'll be it though. There is a universal law stating that negative thoughts/feelings can manifest into a negative reality. Meaning if you keep telling yourself she is going to cancel, she WILL cancel. Same for positive thoughts/feelings. Try and switch your mind frame from negative to positive, like @Happy Lemmingsuggested. Have fun! Edited July 14, 2021 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 14, 2021 Author Share Posted July 14, 2021 44 minutes ago, poppyfields said: There is a universal law stating that negative thoughts/feelings can manifest into a negative reality. Meaning if you keep telling yourself she is going to cancel, she WILL cancel. Same for positive thoughts/feelings. Try and switch your mind frame from negative to positive, like @Happy Lemmingsuggested. Have fun! What? If she's going to cancel, she's going to cancel... no matter how positive or negative I am, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 14, 2021 Share Posted July 14, 2021 7 minutes ago, Zebarbu said: If she's going to cancel, she's going to cancel... no matter how positive or negative I am, right? Do your roommates all get along and along with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Zebarbu Posted July 15, 2021 Author Share Posted July 15, 2021 4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Do your roommates all get along and along with her? They do, yes Link to post Share on other sites
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