My 19 year old son is drinking and smoking weed. I've just found out?

[Michaelroyale]

My 19year old son is currently at university and over the summer has been driving  back home,I moved is car the other night and smelled cannabis, and he admitted he was smoking weed, also I found lots of vodka bottles, I know things go on at university but I believe hes smoking far to much,after the shock of finging out he was smoking cannabis I had a chat with him about it,he was very disrespectful and rude about it.i brought him a little car to help him through university and although I'm part time i support him financially , hes always been level headed and worked very hard to get into university so I've found all of this really difficult to understand and wondered if anyone could give me any advice has to what I can do to help him or help see how dangerous this could be for his future..Any advice would be really appreciated...Michael 

[Hokuto]

He's an adult, not a baby

[JRabbit]

Its not a big deal. Let him enjoy his youth and if you see signs of his life deteriorating then maybe get worried.  Marijuana can really help people who have anxiety, social stress and depression. So I would try not to harp on too much about that to him. Maybe just have a talk about consuming safely, knowing your limit, and always have a safe ride and friend.  If he knows he can trust and talk to you he is more likely to be honest and come to you it is less likely to become an issue long term.

[d0nnivain]

College kids are going to do this.  Have a chat with him about cars & substances.  Keep him safe.  Teach him to never ingest booze or drugs & operate a car  Go over the legal penalties for DWI.  Teach him to make better choices about his safety but recognize that kids are going to experiment.  Give him a fighting chance to not die 

[Happy Lemming]

The fact that your son is an adult, you have very little control over what he does or what mistakes he makes.

Is the car titled in your name?? If so, you could threaten to take it away... if not, there isn't a whole lot you can do (about the car).

You stated you assist him financially (a little), I guess you could stop doing that (if he continues down this path).

What is the legal drinking age (where you live)??  Is pot legal where you are, if so what is the minimum age??

As @d0nnivain mentioned there are legal penalties for breaking minimum age laws.  And if there is a car accident while he is under the influence, legal ramifications skyrocket from there (especially if someone is hurt or killed).

[Wiseman2]

21 hours ago, Michaelroyale said:

i brought him a little car to help him through university and although I'm part time i support him financially.

It seems you know the answer.

If he had to work part time jobs he wouldn't have time to party this much.

And if you scale back the financial pampering, he'll need the jobs and you'll cut off the booze and weed money. 

He'll have to buy food, gas, books, car payments, insurance, etc. with it.

[Michaelroyale]

Yes I totally agree, I've decided to do just that and cut right back,we both had a deep and meaningful chat last night, his mum also has found out and spoken to him, he says hes an adult now 19..and it's his life..hes also spoken about everything hes going to achieve at university and that we are over reacting so that's that I guess...thankyou for your reply much appreciated..Michael 

[Els]

What makes you believe that he's smoking "way too much"? Is he failing in his studies, or driving under the influence, etc? i.e. Are these behaviours that you perceive as "harmful" genuinely causing any negative effects on his life?

I would just set a limit on your financial support - you will pay for the bare minimum number of semesters, if he fails and has to resit anything, he foots the cost.

[Michaelroyale]

Thankyou everyone who have replied to this post lots to consider and think about...perhaps I'm over reacting I don't know but I'll do my best for him..

                Thankyou all...bless you..