Should I end a three year friendship?

[normallypessimistic95]

Hi, my friend is very active when it comes to everyday talk. He calls me every morning and does a small talk, we play some games, this kind of thing. Except, I absolutely hate it. I don't want to talk with him anymore. If it weren't for his constant effort - what is a friendship when one side doesn't want to communicate? Sure, I am here to listen to him, but hey, the chances of picking up your call is close to zero. Why am I acting like this? Could it be social anxiety? I'm sure I have it untreated, I just don't get why it affects a 3 year relationship. I am fine with my dad, I can talk to my brother, so I can talk. I don't feel comfortable around my friend anymore. He let me down and gaslighted me when I was feeling very down, so maybe that's why I feel this way. Should I find treatment? I realised I am the one who is the burden on my only friend and ending it would benefit us both. I keep ignoring him and he's putting all the effort into our friendship. I am anxious and sad because of this all the time. I don't want him to suffer anymore.

[glows]

You don't have to cut anyone out. Find some middle ground if possible. You mentioned he let you down and gaslighted you when you were feeling down. Can you explain what happened a bit more or what that situation was? You'll get to the root of why you're annoyed with him and whether it's worth hanging on to that grudge.

[Wiseman2]

37 minutes ago, normallypessimistic95 said:

He calls me every morning and does a small talk, we play some games, this kind of thing. Except, I absolutely hate it. I don't feel comfortable around my friend anymore.

Just be very busy. School, work, hobbies, sports, clubs, groups, gym, volunteering, etc. then you won't have time to waste on unproductive draining situations. 

 Is this a romantic interest? How old is he?

[ShyViolet]

It would drive me absolutely crazy if a friend was calling me every morning to make small talk.  Yeah, that's too much.  I just wouldn't answer.  Not everyone likes to talk on the phone like that.  

You are not obligated to do anything, you don't owe him anything.  So if you don't want to continue this friendship, then DON'T!  Just stop taking his calls.  Fade away.  And don't feel bad about it.  Life is too short to waste on friendships and relationships that you don't want to be in, that leave you feeling drained.  

[Kai_Kai]

On 7/14/2021 at 11:24 AM, normallypessimistic95 said:

Hi, my friend is very active when it comes to everyday talk. He calls me every morning and does a small talk, we play some games, this kind of thing. Except, I absolutely hate it. I don't want to talk with him anymore. If it weren't for his constant effort - what is a friendship when one side doesn't want to communicate? Sure, I am here to listen to him, but hey, the chances of picking up your call is close to zero. Why am I acting like this? Could it be social anxiety? I'm sure I have it untreated, I just don't get why it affects a 3 year relationship. I am fine with my dad, I can talk to my brother, so I can talk. I don't feel comfortable around my friend anymore. He let me down and gaslighted me when I was feeling very down, so maybe that's why I feel this way. Should I find treatment? I realised I am the one who is the burden on my only friend and ending it would benefit us both. I keep ignoring him and he's putting all the effort into our friendship. I am anxious and sad because of this all the time. I don't want him to suffer anymore.

Sometimes you grow out of a friendship. That doesn't mean you have to abruptly end the friendship, but be honest and upfront with him because he is probably feeling super lonely and boxed in from your lack of response. How you are feeling can be validated considering he has let you down and as a result has  changed the course of your friendship. Be honest with yourself and your friend.