FWB - Guy freaking out

[javastars]

I have been hanging out casually with a guy from work. I am in the middle of looking for a new job. We never see one another as we don't work in the same office. We were social work friends for a year.

 

Started hooking up about 4 months after he ended a year long relationship. I never mentioned dating, relationships, nothing.

Had sex twice, two months in between.

Called me regularly during that time. Stayed in touch.

 

If I mentioned hanging out without sex he always seemed to busy. I finally mention this and that I'd rather not be soley some midnight booty call. Since we both wanted to remain friends I felt this could lead to friendship problems.

He immediately jumps to the I'm not looking for a relationship or anything serious. I remind him I never hinted at one, just don't like being "that girl".

 

I make a joke about him not returning a text message over a week later. When I say joke I mean total sarcasm. He freaks out and wonders if my message is completely serious and why a general text now deserves a reply if he's busy.

 

Holy **** scaredy I only said "gimme a call if you get bored".

 

Why is this dude so about "casual" yet suddenly getting all weirdo when I have never remotely shown interest in dating and don't make a lot of contact with him?

 

Better yet, should I just avoid him?

 

Can a girl just get some respectful sex. Yikes.

[LucreziaBorgia]

He probably thinks that you are implying obligations where he doesn't want to have any.

 

I finally mention this and that I'd rather not be soley some midnight booty call. Since we both wanted to remain friends I felt this could lead to friendship problems.

 

To him, this translates roughly into "I am interested in more than casual sex on your terms, ie: a relationship"... which is exactly what he is hoping to avoid.

 

Unless you are happy being a booty call entirely on his terms and are willing to drop any and all relationship talk, and drop any implications that you are in this for anything other than sex you may want to consider just going your separate ways.

[javastars]

Thanks for the analyzation. I always get caught up in worrying that I am being a bitch, bad friend, what have you. I don't think I realize until much later usually I need to come 1st and they can bug off with their selfish ways. I can have fun but I deserve the respect I demand too.

 

 

thanks again

[Mary3]

You are there for his sexual conveinance. Thats it.

 

Now that leads me to believe because he is not exclusive with you , he is also sleeping with other women.

 

Hope you are using protection.

[Deshanga]

You really want my opinion? Sex is a bad idea altogether. It just creates bad htings, Did you know every time you do that you have a 1 in 3 chance of contracting an STD. if oyu avaoid it altogether, you will be safer, and you'll know that your relationships are based on love and caring.