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Is it wrong to be involved in your child's life?


Brionna20

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This may sound like a loaded question but let me give you some background.  Some 25 years ago I was dating a girl and she got pregnant.  A short time later she gave birth to my one and only child, a little girl.  About a year into that child's life me and mom split and she ran off with our daughter.  After a lengthy custody battle I was awarded full custody of my daughter.  I raised her by myself and with the help of my family and later on in life with my wife, until she graduated college.  That was a few years ago.  Earlier this year my daughter gave birth to my first grandchild.  This will be my wife's and I's 6th grandchild.  My wife's son has 2 kids and I also have an adopted daughter I helped raise when her father was killed when she was about 2 or 3 years old herself.  She has 3 kids of her own.  Let me say this.  I love all of my grandkids equally and place no one above the other.  I am very active in their lives as well as their parent's lives.  I raised my own daughter with a religious upbringing just like my parents did with me but as she got older and left the home she was free to do her own thing.  My daughter works but her job usually has her working on most Sundays so she brings the baby to me and my wife's house and she knows we attend church regularly she  has no problem with us taking our granddaughter to church.  When she was pregnant I had discussed with her that I wanted to get her christened at our church and my daughter was totally fine with that.  She is not a member of our church but has visited with us a few times.  She has zero problem with our church.  I have told her that I have contacted the representative at our church to schedule the christening for next month.  We're just waiting to hear back from the representative and the pastor as to when Sunday he'd like to do it.  I've also gone to the extent of looking for a christening gown and things for my granddaughter's christening.  Yes, I've been an active parent in my daughter's life.  I bought all of her clothes and things when she was growing up and have no problem doing it for my granddaughter.  When she was younger the people at our church always praised me for dressing her so nicely and keeping her clean.  That's not hard to do as a parent, much less a male parent.  It's just how you want your daughter to be seen.  However, some feel my involvement in my daughter and granddaughter's lives is a bit too much.  I have always been there for my daughter and we have a great relationship.  Her mom wasn't an active person in her live although she is in the picture.  My daughter leaned on me and my family, her extended family and we have supported her since birth.  Maybe I'm wrong but I've never wanted to be one of those guys who didn't know anything about raising a baby.  I watched my mom raised 7 children and countless others she babysat in our home, along with neighborhood kids.  Is it wrong that I am taking such an active role in my daughter and granddaughter's life?  My daughter has no idea as far as what to do to arrange a christening and look for clothing and things.  That's where I'm coning in to help.  I just want my granddaughter to have the best just like I did my best to give her mom the best.  Or should I just say, "you're over the age of 18 now.  You figure it out yourself, I'm done."  Can you ever really be done raising kids and giving them guidance or just doing for them?

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1 hour ago, Brionna20 said:

my one and only child, a little girl. some feel my involvement in my daughter and granddaughter's lives is a bit too much.

This is your only biological daughter and granddaughter so it's important to them as well as you that you have a connection.

Whoever these "some" are who feel it's too much, need some counselling from your pastor. Is it your wife who resents this?

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If you are happy with the way you're doing things, and your daughter has no problem with it, then honestly it's no one else's business.  Stop worrying about other nosy people's opinions.

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