LotusAvx Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) I’ve been dating this guy for the past month. He showed so many warning signs of crazy behaviour and mental health issues from the beginning. I was extremely attracted to him and enjoyed the times we spent together when he was acting normal. He stopped drinking for a year and decided to drink last night and got really drunk, he physically attacked me multiple times and I was drinking so I couldn’t drive home. I didn’t want to leave because he was threatening to kill himself. I finally left and he has been calling me non stop and threatening to come to my city and to my work. I don’t know if he is being serious because now he is on the phone begging for me back and saying he loves me. I want him to get the help he needs but he refuses to go to the hospital. I feel like I’ve done all I could at this point and he’s extremely dangerous and toxic, but I’m worried that he will commit suicide and I will be the thing that pushed him to do it. I know I went into this ignoring all the red flags, but I have no idea what to do and I want him to get help. I have no intentions of seeing him again abut I feel guilty for blocking him, even though I am afraid he’s going to hurt himself or stalk me. I’m panicking right because I don’t know what to do. Edited July 20, 2021 by LotusAvx Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 25 minutes ago, LotusAvx said: he physically attacked me multiple times and I was drinking so I couldn’t drive home. Why didn't you call the police? People who threaten suicide are usually just seeking help, attention and to get their way. People who actually are going to do it don't tell anyone they just do it. You should have called the police and told them what he said and they would take it from there. You can also give him the suicide hotline number or get in touch with one of his friends or family members to let them know. This is not your problem and you should bough out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 36 minutes ago, LotusAvx said: He showed so many warning signs of crazy behaviour and mental health issues from the beginning. I was he physically attacked me multiple times . he was threatening to kill himself. I finally left and he has been calling me non stop and threatening to come to my city and to my work. You need to call the police. This to dangerous for you, him and your coworkers. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 9 minutes ago, stillafool said: People who threaten suicide are usually just seeking help, attention and to get their way. People who actually are going to do it don't tell anyone they just do it. I agree... Many years ago, I had this girlfriend (I was dating at that time) call me up and threaten suicide. I knew it was attention seeking behavior because she didn't get her way. My response was... "I'm not leaving work, so if you are still alive when I get home at 6:00pm; I'll call you up to make dinner plans, if not I'll eat by myself." and I hung up. She was just fine and hungry when I called her later that night. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 Call the police. They will perform a welfare check on him, and take it from there. Report his assault and threats against you as well. This man is dangerous, OP. Do not take this lightly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 (edited) --------------------------------------------------------------- Edited July 20, 2021 by stillafool 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 You can't do anything. You are not his keeper nor are you a trained mental heath professional. If you think he's serious in the moment, call the police & have them place him on a 24 hour psych hold. The threat has to be imminent. I dated a bi-polar guy & after a serious episode I made him getting therapy a condition of us continuing to date. He did that for a while & things were better while he was medicated. We broke up because he lied to me about something else that was very serious. He moved away. About a year later while off his meds, he did succeed in taking his own life. It was pretty horrible. I do not say this cavalierly but you have to break up with him. He's in no shape to be a good SO to you. Don't even try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 4 hours ago, LotusAvx said: He showed so many warning signs of crazy behaviour and mental health issues from the beginning. Sounds like Mr. Right or.... someone who's about to go postal Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 Uhhhhh… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more confident in saying “ run” 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 & hopefully he doesn’t know where you live Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 20, 2021 Share Posted July 20, 2021 You need to block him immediately. His mental health is NOT YOUR PROBLEM. You cannot "get him help", you are in way over your head here. If you don't stop engaging with a crazy person, you are going to get yourself seriously hurt or worse. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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