Tom1980 Posted July 21, 2021 Share Posted July 21, 2021 Hello, So i was seeing this girl for approx. 1 year on and off but it was kept quiet so know body knew (very complicated). I then got very sick with a longer term health problem and had to end things as i couldn't be in a relationship at the time which is want she really wanted and i'm still recovering from it. Anyway i turn up at my mates house the other week (haven't see him for a couple of months) and there she is and they are now seeing each other. My mate has no idea about our relationship and i still have feelings for this girl. She knows that we are good friends but hasn't said a word to him. Do i tell him about our past and what was involved or do i just leave it? I don't want to be confronted by him if it comes out but even though it hurts they are together i don't want to upset his relationship. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 21, 2021 Share Posted July 21, 2021 What was so complicated about dating her? I don’t mean to offend you but the drama may be tempting you again. If you have a streak of this or craving for it, it’s better to be honest with yourself and walk away. Don’t give in to the same patterns again and again. You may be seeking your next high only to sink to a new low, the rollercoaster effect of unhealthy relationships - platonic or romantic. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted July 21, 2021 Share Posted July 21, 2021 (edited) Sorry to hear about your health issue. Hope things are ok. Agree with Olivia and glows. don’t say. People move on and date other people. It seems you guys weren’t even that serious to begin with, and neither of them even knew, so why would you wanna stir that pot? Edited July 21, 2021 by Cookiesandough 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom1980 Posted July 21, 2021 Author Share Posted July 21, 2021 I wont go into the details about why it was complicated but there was love involved from both sides and we both wanted the same things. I forgot to mention that once i got sick and it officially ended she waited another 12 months for me before she finally had to move on. She is 39 and wants children. We were in constant communication and she helped me hugely with getting through it. I definitely will not be saying anything to my friend. I want them both to be happy. I am just surprised she hasn't told him as if it was me i would have mentioned it straight away. Other friends know about us so will see what happens when it does come out. Health is on the right track and hopefully back to normal soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 22, 2021 Share Posted July 22, 2021 Either way, does this stop you from dating or meeting other women? How much importance would you place on them or what they’re doing, in other words. Maybe this news is a shock to you but I hope you don’t let it hold you back from living your life. I’m glad your health is back on track too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tom1980 Posted July 22, 2021 Author Share Posted July 22, 2021 Anyway.....i emailed my ex yesterday to say i was happy she has found someone and hope that it works out. She then replied back straight away and we can a good discussion about everything. She had told him a few days earlier about our relationship and he is ok with that. We discussed the past and everything else and all on good terms. It as very good to clear the air and puts my mind at ease. Haven't properly caught up with my friend yet about it but it will give them some space and do what i need to do to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 17 hours ago, Tom1980 said: Anyway.....i emailed my ex yesterday to say i was happy she has found someone and hope that it works out. She then replied back straight away and we can a good discussion about everything. She had told him a few days earlier about our relationship and he is ok with that. We discussed the past and everything else and all on good terms. It as very good to clear the air and puts my mind at ease. Haven't properly caught up with my friend yet about it but it will give them some space and do what i need to do to move on. Good plan. I'm glad to hear it went well and it's out in the open. Onwards. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 17 hours ago, Tom1980 said: She had told him a few days earlier about our relationship and he is ok with that. I'm sure your friend would like to hear from you on this so he can make sure everything is good between you. Good you are moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 26, 2021 Share Posted July 26, 2021 I'm sorry to hear you were ill and that it prevented you from taking the relationship further. I don't know why it was kept secret but that won't have helped. I guess your ex feels she gave you every chance and things did not progress, for whatever reason. It is good you have been in touch with her and it is out in the open now. Maybe you and your friend can still maintain a friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
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