Bad breakup. Struggling. Reiki - Any good?

[Fliplid89]

Good afternoon. 

This is my third post on here... I've recently been through a horrendous break up. I went through it in my last post but keep it short, my partner left me, blocked me, deleted me, removed all photos of us and was in a new relationship 3 weeks later. On top of this my father is terminally ill. This my partner new but was still incredibly cold towards me. I chased the relationship for 4 weeks even after he blocked me I called from another number. Yes this was wrong but I didn't want to give up. Anyway... My last call to him was 2 weeks ago. He got his new partner to answer the phone to me. This took it to a whole new level and it really has torn me apart. Nothing I did deserved this. 

Yes I was persistent, but only because we promised each other we wouldn't let it get like that again so communicating was my only option. After all I loved him with all my heart. By now... Its been a couple of weeks. He's put a profile pic of him and his new partner on his social media. I saw this previously to blocking as he blocked me weeks ago. 

For someone that loved me... He acted very callously in my eyes and I've had to seek councelling to help me. This he also knew and just said 'right okay so what'. 

 

My question is someone has suggested Reiki to me. Do you think this will help me in anyway. I have deleted and blocked his numbers but still get urges to get in contact. I'm not going to for my own self respect but these feelings are so intense. I'm just crying inside... All this on top of trying to support my dad. So far this forum has been helpful so any advice gratefully received. I am struggling. 

Many thanks. 

[glows]

A friend of mine is a Reiki teacher. She was also my yoga instructor for a number of years but she is retired now. I can't speak for Reiki and I have not tried it but if you are curious, it doesn't hurt to try something new. She could have done Reiki on me when my eyes were closed. I have no idea. I know I always feel good around her.

You have more time to yourself and you are free to do as you please so what is stopping you from trying it? Find out for yourself whether it works for you. I really didn't place much faith in yoga until started doing it. 

I cried a lot on the inside when I separated from my ex. Inside and outside. Take more time to yourself and try new things. It took me some time before I had the courage or interest to even start doing my old hobbies. It took me 1.5 years before I ventured to some things again. Don't hold yourself to someone else's (least of all an ex's) timeline. Do as you please, whatever you want, whenever you want and slowly you will start to feel all your joy and independence again. You never have to ask anyone whether you should try something new like Reiki. Just do it. Explore.

 

Edited July 21, 2021 by glows

[Wiseman2]

26 minutes ago, Fliplid89 said:

I've had to seek councelling to help me. My question is someone has suggested Reiki to me.

Anything that helps you relax and calm down can help.

Especially since you don't want harassment/stalking charges or a restraining order filed against you.

Have you seen a physician about your ongoing depression, which was a factor in the relationship falling apart in the first place?

 

[stillafool]

Breakups are painful and take time to get over.  I can only imagine how stressful you must feel with this break up and your Dad's illness.  (((Hugs))), just be gentle with yourself and yo9u are right to not try to contact your ex partner as that will hurt you even more.  Just give it time and you'll be okay.

[Fliplid89]

9 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Anything that helps you relax and calm down can help.

Especially since you don't want harassment/stalking charges or a restraining order filed against you.

Have you seen a physician about your ongoing depression, which was a factor in the relationship falling apart in the first place?

 

Good afternoon, no I haven't seen a doctor. I didn't think I was depressed just unhappy. I've had endless questions.... One of the main ones being why did I do all he could to hurt me. That's what's going around in my mind. I am however starting counceling. The sad thing is I'm off work for 6 weeks as I work in education so I have so much thinking time. Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. 

[Fliplid89]

17 minutes ago, stillafool said:

Breakups are painful and take time to get over.  I can only imagine how stressful you must feel with this break up and your Dad's illness.  (((Hugs))), just be gentle with yourself and yo9u are right to not try to contact your ex partner as that will hurt you even more.  Just give it time and you'll be okay.

Thank you so much. I will get there hopefully. I appreciate your reply so much. I've not been through this before. Its my first major relationship so I think that's another factor. Thank you 

[stillafool]

Yes the first heartache is the hardest to get over.  When you and your Dad feel better start seeing other people.  In the meantime work out, eat well and take care of yourself so you will be fit and ready for the next one.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Flip, my advice to you is to see a Psychologist( a good one) who will be able to help you with your problem. The thing is that you seem too emotionally tied up with your ex boyfriend when he himself could hardly be concerned about you. You have to be able to respect yourself more than this if you want to survive in this world. Your happiness and self fulfillment are entirely dependent on you yourself and not on someone else.

You do not have to lean on someone else to find happiness and people are replaceable in the final analysis. For example, couples who have been happily married for years may lose one partner due to illness or an accident. The one left behind, after grieving the loss of their partner, move on and may finally find another partner with whom they can find happiness. It is not that they forget their previous partner but just that they are able to keep things in perspective and move on with their lives. You need to do the same. Hope this helps. Warm wishes.

[Fliplid89]

5 hours ago, Just a Guy said:

Hi Flip, my advice to you is to see a Psychologist( a good one) who will be able to help you with your problem. The thing is that you seem too emotionally tied up with your ex boyfriend when he himself could hardly be concerned about you. You have to be able to respect yourself more than this if you want to survive in this world. Your happiness and self fulfillment are entirely dependent on you yourself and not on someone else.

You do not have to lean on someone else to find happiness and people are replaceable in the final analysis. For example, couples who have been happily married for years may lose one partner due to illness or an accident. The one left behind, after grieving the loss of their partner, move on and may finally find another partner with whom they can find happiness. It is not that they forget their previous partner but just that they are able to keep things in perspective and move on with their lives. You need to do the same. Hope this helps. Warm wishes.

Wise words thank you. I don't feel I need to see a psychologist. I've seen a councellor and I'm getting there... I feel my ex was a narcissist and coming to terms with this has been tough as you hold onto the good memories however, I no longer feel the need to contact him again and should he contact me which is unlikely it'll be ignored.  I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I'm working on building myself back up. Best wishes to you.