Addy032 Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 I have been with my boyfriend since sophomore year of high school. We just graduated in May of this year. I recently moved out of my parents house because of the toxic environment and moved in with my boyfriend. Since moving in with him I just feel under appreciated and unloved. I know he loves me, and I know i’m just overthinking this. We have 2 very different personalities and I think that is what i’m struggling with. He is very quiet and reserved as where I am very talkative and outgoing. I try to talk to him about how I’m feeling but every time I bring it up I just feel like he’s tired of hearing me go on about it. He’s literally the sweetest boy ever and I know these are my problems and not his; I am just having trouble with the thought that I could be pushing him away. I love living with him, I think I just have to high of expectations. Any opinions? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 I'm like your guy in that I can't stand incessant chatting; it exhausts me. The key is for both of you to have complete respect for the personality types of the other. You didn't say what or why you feel under-appreciated, but if you're continually complaining, yes. It will place a wedge between the two of you. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 I am the extroverted talker in my relationship. My husband is the quiet introvert. He's never going to talk as much as I want him to; he's also never going to respond as fast as I would prefer It takes him a LONG time to process information, to mull over his options, to weigh his words & then finally say something. By that time I'm 5 subjects ahead. My best advice to you is to learn to listen & appreciate the silences. Sometimes just sitting & being . . enjoying the quiet which is hard for us talkers . . is a very intimate thing. Also the first few months of living with somebody is an adjustment. You have to get used to each other & the new routine. I am always on edge when I move or start living with a new person. Give it some time If there is something specific you want don't be afraid to tell your guy that but be specific. Saying I don't feel appreciated doesn't help & it won't change anything. Saying, I would like it if you could say thank you for dinner or doing the laundry more often, should get you the verbal acknowledgement you crave. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 23, 2021 Share Posted July 23, 2021 It's one thing not to talk about shared decisions and it's another not to talk about personal rants or wonderings. I think communication is important any time when it involves the both of you. Everything else can be filtered or think twice whether it's a burden to unload on your partner. He has his own worries also. Since you' ve been together for awhile you likely know his habits and you can tell from his unspoken behaviours when he's bothered or stressed out. I could read my partner's emotions without him saying anything and sometimes even from what he was eating, wearing and the timing of some of his actions or the way he says other things. What I'm saying is .. you likely already know. So trust yourself and your bond and relationship. Not everything needs to be spoken outloud, leave room for him to speak in his own way too. If you want to talk think first about whether it affects the both of you and communicate clearly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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