Dating almost 7 months now?

[J_DIZZY]

Hey I’m new to this site. I just started dating and kinda back into this stupid dating thing again. Tried apps and all that nonsense. Had tinder for awhile which ive paid, but canceled bc that’s bull S***t ain’t working.

im currently dating this Milf since February and all she wana do is eat and go on dates that’s about it. We met on Valentine’s Day and went like so many dates since then. She is a single mom but I’m okay with it. I’m single w/o kids but work non stop and trying this dating thing out. She’s the only woman on my plate right now so I’m just flowing with it see how far it goes. The thing is that she is dealing with a divorce atm. She’s cool and all but idk where are we in relationship status at the moment. I always helped her out lend her some money here and there because of her situation. The a**h*** ex cheated on her and got another chick pregnant. We always talked about life and how stuff will go here and there. She told me before that idk she wants a relationship like we do it together but maybe idk is she still legally married? Is it why she’s kinda waiting for that over? She’s cool and hard worker also also like me. Sometimes she bring her daughter on a date with us but I told her it’s cool. At first date she brought her daughter but now I’m like it’s ok. I’m always a good guy and understanding when it comes to problems and stuff. I was not okay at first but after awhile I get to like her. The thing is that we been going out for so long now and like we don’t even hook up like a real relationship. I went with her dates even on Mother’s Day. I gave her a flower etc. and she was happy posted it. We don’t get intimate or anything. We don’t even hold hands or kiss or anything. I’m kinda a shy dude too but she joked once’s u wana F***k one time? Lol but ended up yea sure in a text she said joking and said something else I told her I miss that lol. Idk what’s the deal all she wants to do is like date and go on dates. It’s hard for me to take off on mid days etc bc I work straight 7 days. All she want to do is just go dates eat out dinner. Wtf. I know her situation and all plus she owe me some money she told me to pay back. I helped her out with money a lot when she couldn’t even put gas in her car damn and I ended up brinG a gas can and giving her free damn gas. Before she would split the bill on dates but than she now I end up paying for it all the time.  My bro told me that we not even relationship and I always give her money. She promised me to give me back I told her form the time she needs help don’t worry just pay if u can she agreed to pay me back. the kids birthday she asked again money first was a small amount than after a damn larger amount I just told her I lend people money but she still owes me a lot more from last time u going to pay me back right? What I’ve said. So I just said that. There where occasions that other months she couldn’t pay her car insurance and needed some cash for other stuff. Damn I lend her a lot of money. 
 

the thing is I’m a nice guy. At times I wana give up and call it quits. Tbh I’m not really worried about money atm, but this dating s*** pisses me off. She asks to go on dates sometimes I tell her sorry I’m busy and I have a lot of overtime at work so I rather stay the extra hours. I told my brother that and wtf. Damn chick always wana eat. She has a nice looking figure but damn wtf. 
 

im to a point I just ghost the hell out of her and block her permanently or just try see how this goes. 
 

ive been bringing her out for months now almost like once or twice a week on her food? Going out with her like causally. Dates are expensive and wtf I still don’t get any head yet?

 

what’s the deal ima dump this b****. I mean I’d give her what I can if she’s my girlfriend permanently. I try to give her the world if she is my girl but wtf? It’s like she acts like we even close to her the audacity for her asking money and making times for date dinners.  I’m also going on a trip vacation which I supposed to go she told me beginning of the year she will come with me. My plan was to pay for her to come with me she wanted. But I low played that I told her my brother going to book my flight and all that. Then I’ll pay him back because he got discount. I told my brother that and he laughed. She on the other hand don’t want to come or she said she’s prob broke to go. I ain’t spending money on a chick that don’t even show an effort to show love to me or even wana get close to get to know me more like that? This the first woman I met was like this. My exes where straight forward. Wtf is her deal ima dump her block and don’t answer her regardless she still owes me money. 
 

what do u guys think what should I do? I just want a relationship with her like that gf and bf holding hands etc. how do I kick start this relationship? Any tips? Thanks I’m advance 

 

[NYAG]

If you don't like it, don't date her. Simple. You are under no obligation if things aren't going the way you want them to. Ask her what she really wants. Clearly you're not happy with the way things are so you either need to have a conversation with her or walk away.

ps. MILF is a gross term, especially on a site like this. Please don't.

[Wiseman2]

50 minutes ago, J_DIZZY said:

bull S***t ain’t working. this Milf. The a**h*** ex.  u wana F***k.  Wtf. this dating s***..wtf. and wtf. I still don’t get any head yet?  ima dump this b****.. wtf?  Wtf .

So your point is she's married, brings her kids on a first date and hit's you up for money all the time? 

But with this language you're lucky to get any dates.

Edited July 24, 2021 by Wiseman2

[BaileyB]

I stopped reading at the word MILF. 

[J_DIZZY]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

So your point is she's married, brings her kids on a first date and hit's you up for money all the time? 

But with this language you're lucky to get any dates.

She’s going through a rough time and dealing with a divorce. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, J_DIZZY said:

She’s going through a rough time and dealing with a divorce. 

That's for her therapist and attorney to figure out.

All you do is complain about giving her money, feeding her, paying for gas and not getting bjs.

Then you complain dating is nonsense, but when you date women like this it's your own fault.

[J_DIZZY]

4 hours ago, NYAG said:

If you don't like it, don't date her. Simple. You are under no obligation if things aren't going the way you want them to. Ask her what she really wants. Clearly you're not happy with the way things are so you either need to have a conversation with her or walk away.

ps. MILF is a gross term, especially on a site like this. Please don't.

Yea sorry I put that word. Tbh she is pretty hot tho. She’s one year older than me but it’s okay. Yea I’m happy with her going on dates and all but I gotta say. How many dates we went out together and for how long we didn’t even made out yet.  or idk what she wants. I mean I would support her more than how I am helping her now but it’s like we don’t even that kind of relationship yet. What’s a kind way to ask what do you want? Or how can I ask her that? 

[J_DIZZY]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's for her therapist and attorney to figure out.

All you do is complain about giving her money, feeding her, paying for gas and not getting bjs.

Then you complain dating is nonsense, but when you date women like this it's your own fault.

Hey I’m dating anyone I want but tbh it’s a year since I been dating and she’s the only one on my plate atm. It’s a problem that I’ll try to deal with. Something is better than nothing? I’m just tryna figure out her situation and my situation. She don’t got any family much that gives a f about her and she needs help dealing with that. Therapist? Yea she broke for that. She’s been a good friend of mine for a while but she’s slowly getting over it. She told me that I kinda help her since no one really helps her. 

[stillafool]

9 minutes ago, J_DIZZY said:

She’s going through a rough time and dealing with a divorce. 

So what?  It's not your problem.  You're resentful because you are paying for meals and not getting sex.  Have you asked her for sex?  If not, why not?  It sounds like she's using you and you can do better.  The next time she asks to go out to eat tell her to cook you a meal.  Frankly I think you should dump and block her, find a woman your age to date.

[J_DIZZY]

Ah I guess it’s better to deal with your own problems than even wording out or expressing it to someone or putting it on a forum. Better to figure things out yourself most people don’t really give a f anyway to begin with. 

[J_DIZZY]

3 minutes ago, stillafool said:

So what?  It's not your problem.  You're resentful because you are paying for meals and not getting sex.  Have you asked her for sex?  If not, why not?  It sounds like she's using you and you can do better.  The next time she asks to go out to eat tell her to cook you a meal.  Frankly I think you should dump and block her, find a woman your age to date.

yea not my problem we not even in a real relationship not even getting bj from her and she got the audacity to ask for money like it’s nothing like she’s my bf or something. The thing trip me out most is that she is a lier how many times she telling me she’ll pay me back but end up with so much petty excuses u don’t even know. She told me she will use her stimulus to pay me back and child support when the money comes in. Made me think she can afford all these designer bags and a lot of etc and can’t even afford to buy or even live? I hate people also who lies and she act like she got all this and that. She got offended once when we was talking about some small petty stuff about fashion and cars. Just because my car is expensive she told me atleast don’t act like rich and I’m super broke. Damn right! I noticed her that from the beginning me I’m a humble dude but her idk? This my last time I’m going with her.  Yesterday she wanted to go out and eat we both set a time but we ended both taking a nap so we went out late. I asked are we still going? Then she replies sorry late. Wanted to go 5:30 Than she said “it’s ok I’m going out w other friends. Ttyl I’m getting ready.  What kinda S*****t is that my phone is dying and stuff 

 

That’s the last time I’ll talk to her I’m done. 

 

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, J_DIZZY said:

we not even in a real relationship not even getting bj from her .Made me think she can afford all these designer bags and a lot of etc

Imagine how much money the guys who are getting that are giving her.

[glows]

How long has she been separated? The divorce could take awhile. Some people choose to date while separated from their spouses but there are ongoing issues to tie up. You need to be more secure with yourself and the other person if you’re going to date someone in the midst of that. In your case she appears to be using you for money and free food. You’re vulnerable too. Did you just leave a recent relationship?

This charade needs to end. There’s not enough respect on both sides. Why live miserably? You get to choose your life so choose, starting today. Good luck.

[gwaimui]

You sound pretty young, there's lots of time to find yourself and settle down. Your friend might be "hot" but this is obviously not working for you.  Cut your losses and move on.

[J_DIZZY]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Imagine how much money the guys who are getting that are giving her.

She said she bought that all herself and her ex husband supported her addiction lol. Yeah man is that what it is? She’s into that kind of designer bags and stuff the ex in the other hand is broke AF and don’t even work. She’s the one making the money when they where together Idjai what the chick said. she argued with me once when I was only talking about designer we planned on going out but. Started to rain. I jokingly asked her we can use an umbrella? Common sense kind stuff. you don’t have those fancy umbrellas? She got offended than she went asking me you don’t have a bag matching your car? I told her I actually was supposed to buy me a bag and an umbrella in my car. Then she wants off like to me you know your car is worth more than my bags. She get couple bags etc. that she runs away from guys like this being judgmental and s***. I told her cars is like that me I buy a lot of S***t for my cars it’s my hobby don’t get it offended. She go and tells me why u don’t like it if I tell u this and that about your car your always this and that. I tel her no I won’t It’s like clothes shoes etc. me I love cars I would like to talk about cars. She gets all offended by a little joke I always complimented her on her bags and how she dresses she takes it the wrong way. She told me too her husband didn’t buy me these I did I worked for it and no one else she was so offended. Then I told her straight up same as me for my cars no one bought that for me. She gets all offended and stuff but the end of the day we ended up understanding each other. To be honest she was going walk away from me that time just for a small joke. I told my brother and friends show the text she sent me! They all said the same she tripping she can’t take a joke like that. In reality I kinda put her in her place. But the end of the day we ended up understanding each other 

[stillafool]

Bottom line is you need to let her go because she is using you.  You can find better.

[ExpatInItaly]

How old are you both, OP?

[NYAG]

18 hours ago, J_DIZZY said:

Yea sorry I put that word. Tbh she is pretty hot tho. She’s one year older than me but it’s okay. Yea I’m happy with her going on dates and all but I gotta say. How many dates we went out together and for how long we didn’t even made out yet.  or idk what she wants. I mean I would support her more than how I am helping her now but it’s like we don’t even that kind of relationship yet. What’s a kind way to ask what do you want? Or how can I ask her that? 

You ask. If she doesn't like your question, you've got your answer. If you want sexual rewards for being nice to her you have the problem, not her. Your language continually suggests you just see her as a sex object.

'She is pretty hot tho' is not a compliment.

I suggest you let the poor girl go to find someone who will respect her better.

[Jyklle]

So you’ve never slept with her? Nothing sexual has happened with her? The bro, she’s using you. I’m sorry but for seeing her so long and nothing? She’s definitely using you. 

[spiderowl]

She's just using you.  You need to ask her what your relationship status is.  Are you her boyfriend or not?  If so, you need physical affection and sex too.  

Don't lend her any more money until she pays you back.

 

[Cookiesandough]

Yea she seems to be toying with you and using you for attention and a meal ticket. I don’t know how old either of you are but if you’re significantly younger it’s very unlikely she’s taking any of this srs. 

Edited July 31, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[introverted1]

 

On 7/31/2021 at 3:42 PM, Cookiesandough said:

Yea she seems to be toying with you and using you for attention and a meal ticket. I don’t know how old either of you are but if you’re significantly younger it’s very unlikely she’s taking any of this srs. 

They're the same age.

On 7/24/2021 at 11:26 AM, J_DIZZY said:

She’s one year older than me but it’s okay.

Dating implies a romantic/physical relationship.  It's been 7 months and it's pretty clear that's NOT what you have.  So either get together as friends, meaning that she pays her own way, or walk away altogether. As things stand, it appears she is just using you. 

[mark clemson]

On 7/24/2021 at 3:42 AM, J_DIZZY said:

All she want to do is just go dates eat out dinner. Wtf. I know her situation and all plus she owe me some money she told me to pay back. I helped her out with money a lot when she couldn’t even put gas in her car damn and I ended up brinG a gas can and giving her free damn gas. Before she would split the bill on dates but than she now I end up paying for it all the time.  My bro told me that we not even relationship and I always give her money. She promised me to give me back I told her form the time she needs help don’t worry just pay if u can she agreed to pay me back.

A girl's gotta eat.

I wouldn't plan on getting any money back from her. Or on this going much of anywhere either, frankly. There are women who are "slow starters" in relationships, but 7 months IMO means she's ONLY interested in dinners and conversation, etc.

I think the real question you should be asking is how did YOU let yourself get sucked into this kind of "relationship" in the first place. Not having sex = not advancing the relationship. For a guy like me, after about 2 weeks I'd be moving on to greener pastures. Everyone's different, but I think an absolute maximum of about 6 weeks of dating prior to sex is reasonable for the vast majority. Beyond that you're, as noted above, essentially a meal ticket, at least IMO.

Edited August 12, 2021 by mark clemson