Sanity check: paid dating sites: strategy

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, bot said:

Lining a landlord's pocket with it - not so useful.

But it's a sure thing. You have real and tangible living space to confirm your independent adulthood and readiness to date.

Any sort of matchmakers/dating apps are just a shot in the dark. And living with mom/dad significantly reduces your chances.

[ZA Dater]

I think living arrangements are largely irrelevant, you need to work on yourself as a person to present yourself as best you can in an OLD type environment. The ONE piece of advice I wish I had been given before doing OLD was to not take it too seriously.

[Mrin]

On 7/28/2021 at 3:45 AM, bot said:

Dig deep into a woman and you'll probably find something unique

As a dude who has dated a good number of women, believe me when I say that most women are like lakes of immeasurable depth and breath. Full of uniqueness. And, just when you think you have them figured out, they change. 

Idea: from your own words doesn't sound like you're looking for any sort of deep connection with a woman. Or actually a real relationship for that matter. Why not just go with a pro or maybe look at a seeking arrangements type situation. I think you'll find the interchangeability that you're looking for and the immediate satisfaction. Plus - it's definitely something you can address with money. 💯

[ZA Dater]

14 hours ago, Mrin said:

As a dude who has dated a good number of women, believe me when I say that most women are like lakes of immeasurable depth and breath. Full of uniqueness. And, just when you think you have them figured out, they change. 

Idea: from your own words doesn't sound like you're looking for any sort of deep connection with a woman. Or actually a real relationship for that matter. Why not just go with a pro or maybe look at a seeking arrangements type situation. I think you'll find the interchangeability that you're looking for and the immediate satisfaction. Plus - it's definitely something you can address with money. 💯

I think the OP is attempting to take a blanket approach to trying all avenues at once which I think is very flawed but in theory it should get him a decent number of matches, though how many of them will be suitable...that is another story.

People go on about this "deep connection"  while this might be true its not exclusively true for all guys and how guys date. Thinking about the OP strategy its clear he wants instant gratification and there is no issue with that but as you say its very difficult to find. 

The bold is true of dating as a concept, rarely have I ever met anyone who has considerably resources who cannot find a date they find attractive...

 

[chillii]

On 8/15/2021 at 1:31 PM, Mrin said:

As a dude who has dated a good number of women, believe me when I say that most women are like lakes of immeasurable depth and breath. Full of uniqueness. And, just when you think you have them figured out, they change. 

Idea: from your own words doesn't sound like you're looking for any sort of deep connection with a woman. Or actually a real relationship for that matter. Why not just go with a pro or maybe look at a seeking arrangements type situation. I think you'll find the interchangeability that you're looking for and the immediate satisfaction. Plus - it's definitely something you can address with money. 💯

 

God you ain't kidding, understatement,  first thing that gobsmacked me.

Sounds like it's anything with legs will do.

 

 

 

Edited August 16, 2021 by chillii

[ZA Dater]

21 hours ago, chillii said:

 

God you ain't kidding, understatement,  first thing that gobsmacked me.

Sounds like it's anything with legs will do.

 

 

 

The problem is this does apply to many people....but I do not think anyone starts out with this mindset it is acquired over time.  I have been thinking about this, everyone actually has mostly the same relationship outcome idea at the start, well all mostly want married with kids, that is seemingly the norm but when rejections mount up that norm can change to "well a ONS is enough". 

The cover all bases being adopted by the OP will probably get him to the end of the road quicker in his mind but will also lead to a much more difficult road ultimately.

[invalidname]

On 7/28/2021 at 5:13 AM, ZA Dater said:

I think living arrangements are largely irrelevant, you need to work on yourself as a person to present yourself as best you can in an OLD type environment. The ONE piece of advice I wish I had been given before doing OLD was to not take it too seriously.

I'm done with OLD. Never trying that again; too dehumanizing. Will stick to IRL events instead where decency is strictly enforced.

On 8/14/2021 at 8:31 PM, Mrin said:

As a dude who has dated a good number of women, believe me when I say that most women are like lakes of immeasurable depth and breath. Full of uniqueness. And, just when you think you have them figured out, they change. 

Idea: from your own words doesn't sound like you're looking for any sort of deep connection with a woman. Or actually a real relationship for that matter. Why not just go with a pro or maybe look at a seeking arrangements type situation. I think you'll find the interchangeability that you're looking for and the immediate satisfaction. Plus - it's definitely something you can address with money. 💯

If by seeking arrangements you mean an arranged marriage, I asked my parents to try reaching out through their large networks and set up a meeting, but no one was interested - arranged marriages are out of style nowadays. Well the real reason is I can't compete with guys on linxdating dot com slash searches-for-women who outclass me in every dimension. It's whatever - lose some weight, get a fancy new 6pack, double my salary and get a fancy new title, and things will fall into place. If it worked for killyourinnerloser dot com, it will work for me.

On 8/16/2021 at 5:27 AM, chillii said:

God you ain't kidding, understatement,  first thing that gobsmacked me.

Sounds like it's anything with legs will do.

Guys like me without many options can't afford to be picky here, so it's more like anything with legs will have to do. Those who have not experienced it will never understand the struggle of being unemployed for years and then when a job offer comes along, any offer: "That sounds amazing. Never mind the fact you're underpaying me and not including a sign on bonus, it's an amazing offer compared to unemployment and within the ballpark of expectations so I'll take it." Here too "that women sounds amazing. Never mind the fact that I'm going to be the one earning all the money and she's going to be the one spending it on whatever insert famous celebrity here tells her to buy, or she gave her virginity to her college sweetheart, or ... I'll stop here before the mods get mad and delete my post. Having kids is amazing compared to the alternative - as long as she doesn't cheat on me I'll take it, it's not like there's anything or anyone else worth spending the money I make on" applies.

On 8/17/2021 at 2:43 AM, ZA Dater said:

The problem is this does apply to many people....but I do not think anyone starts out with this mindset it is acquired over time.  I have been thinking about this, everyone actually has mostly the same relationship outcome idea at the start, well all mostly want married with kids, that is seemingly the norm but when rejections mount up that norm can change to "well a ONS is enough". 

The cover all bases being adopted by the OP will probably get him to the end of the road quicker in his mind but will also lead to a much more difficult road ultimately.

I'm not interested in a ONS. If I ever get that desperate, I'll just start watching p*rn again instead of going the ONS route because I don't want to have to deal with STDs. Marriage with kids is what I'm interested in.

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, bot said:

If it workedfor killyourinnerloser  

Try to stay off garbage sites such as this, incels, etc.

. If you feel real life introductions work better for you, then go with that.

[invalidname]

18 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Try to stay off garbage sites such as this, incels, etc.

. If you feel real life introductions work better for you, then go with that.

Yeah the site itself and contents therein is not that important and can certainly rub people the wrong way; what is important is his reassurance that given the hurdles he had to overcome, if he could make it you can too. I find his transformation story inspirational.

Edited September 8, 2021 by bot

[d0nnivain]

At ground the only valid take away from all that PUA BS is that you need self confidence.  Without it you will have trouble getting a job or finding a GF  

[invalidname]

42 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

At ground the only valid take away from all that PUA BS is that you need self confidence.  Without it you will have trouble getting a job or finding a GF  

LOL. Have you seen killyourinnerloser's before and after profile pictures - tell me, how much of a role did self-confidence play in how the shots turned out and how much did his intensive workout routine, strategic dress style, and other so-called "PUA BS" play? It sounds like you have the cause and effect flipped here - so-called self-confidence comes naturally with a 6pack and fashionable dress style but not the other way around. The same way I'm confident at work because I'm good at what I do not good at what I do because I'm confident - on the contrary, I aim to be as humble as possible.

[d0nnivain]

I'm not saying you can't gain self confidence from working out & improving your style of dress but if you have a 6 pack, still dress like you just rolled out of bed & can't carry on a conversation you won't get very far.  Your appearance may get you noticed but you need some substance to sustain a relationship.  

[Mrin]

8 hours ago, bot said:

If by seeking arrangements you mean an arranged marriage, I asked my parents to try reaching out through their large networks and set up a meeting, but no one was interested - arranged marriages are out of style nowadays.

No I wasn't talking about arranged marriages. There are a number of sites out there where you can essentially trade money for a romantic relationship of some sort with a woman sugar daddy style. Sugar.com is one. Seeking.com is another. It doesn't sound like you want to create some sort of deep love connection with a woman and you are also willing to spend money to achieve your goals. This might be a more straightforward way to do it.

[invalidname]

3 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

I'm not saying you can't gain self confidence from working out & improving your style of dress but if you have a 6 pack, still dress like you just rolled out of bed & can't carry on a conversation you won't get very far.  Your appearance may get you noticed but you need some substance to sustain a relationship.  

Fair enough; I'm currently going to tons of meetups and practicing the conversing with (drunk) women part. I wouldn't say I'm terrible at it but could use some improvement I guess - other people are definitely better at that.

2 hours ago, Mrin said:

No I wasn't talking about arranged marriages. There are a number of sites out there where you can essentially trade money for a romantic relationship of some sort with a woman sugar daddy style. Sugar.com is one. Seeking.com is another. It doesn't sound like you want to create some sort of deep love connection with a woman and you are also willing to spend money to achieve your goals. This might be a more straightforward way to do it.

Sounds interesting, but there's undoubtedly a catch or else tons of people would be doing that instead of the normal process. Probably women dating multiple sugar daddies at the same time, higher likelihood of cheating, women not interested in marriage or having children, etc. Skewing incentives like that directly with monetary payments seems risky because as d0nnivain mentioned if it results in a relationship without substance it may not sustain.

[Mrin]

24 minutes ago, bot said:

Skewing incentives like that directly with monetary payments seems risky because as d0nnivain mentioned if it results in a relationship without substance it may not sustain.

Oh ya. I wouldn't suspect a meaningful or permanent relationship to come out of such an arrangement. But I suspect you'd get the immediate, straightforward and interchangeable results that you mentioned in your original post. Anyhow, best of luck!