Friend Frederick Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 I need some perspective on whether or not I'm being too sensitive or if I should really be hurt. Background: I was friends with a coworker, S. S and I were work friends, didn't really hang out or talk much outside of work but were super close at work. Another coworker, A, started hanging out with us at work and we started doing things together outside of work as well. A says she "infiltrated" our crew lol. The 3 of us were mostly still just work friends. Fastforward to Covid and working from home and now we're super close. We chat all day on various platforms and hang out together once or twice a week. S also now works a different shift than me and A. So A and I spend almost every weekday on the phone chatting as we work. A solid 6 to 7 hours per day. My issue is that while we are on the phone all day every day and we do get together at least once a week, A has another group of friends that she is with almost every night. They seem to be her go-to friends. It seems like she reaches out to them before reaching out to S or me. S and I feel like we're the second choice. Making it even more complicated is that I know this other group of friends. In fact, I known them longer than I've known A. But I'm not really friends with them, more just acquaintances. So should I be upset that we are second choice? Or should I be understanding that A and I already spend all this time together during the week on the phone? I almost feel like I don't have a right to complain but at the same time I would trade some of the phone time for in person time. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2021 Share Posted July 25, 2021 I don't see where you are 2nd choice but you may be overstating the nature of your connection with A. She has compartmentalized. Work friends -- you & S -- and her other friends. I would not say anything to A but since you know the other friends reach out through any other open channel to them & invite yourself along. Maybe when A sees you in that context it will make A think about the nature of your interactions differently Link to post Share on other sites
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