Anyone who can weigh in on the mentality of this cheater who hit on me?

[elaine567]

He's an opportunist.

[glows]

I don’t like unwanted attention so can understand if you’re grossed out by this man. If he’s all-round repulsive as you say I guess his behaviour isn’t really a surprise? You gave him an inch (in jest) and he took a yard in what appears all seriousness.

[Cookiesandough]

Ty. Yea I never found him attractive or anything but I didn’t think he was that bad until yesterday. I think that a lot of men really like drama even though they say they hate it. And there is no bro code.  They like the attention it would bring them /ego boost too much. I swear, some dudes  the biggest $#it stirrers… 

 

It’s interesting how some people still took the opportunity to make it like I was in wrong in any way, even though I was just having a little harmless fun for 30 min, I’m single,  not friends with anyone here and I don’t owe anyone here anything 

 

anyway, ty for the perspectives anyway. I respect them all 

Edited July 25, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[glows]

I don’t think you did anything wrong. I saw two friends having a drink and the convo got a bit silly but it’s not like you met yesterday. You both know each other. The bit about wanting to know how your ex is doing would worry me more as he’s nothing but past tense. 

This guy is just low class, C. There are much better men who don’t behave or talk this way and they certainly wouldn’t talk about their girlfriends that way either.

[Andy_K]

Do you refer to him as a cheater because of this interaction, or because or his previous behaviour?

Because if he's already an established cheater, it shouldn't be too surprising he's fully prepared to disregard his friends feelings if it means getting laid. 

[Cookiesandough]

3 hours ago, Andy_K said:

Do you refer to him as a cheater because of this interaction, or because or his previous behaviour?

Because if he's already an established cheater, it shouldn't be too surprising he's fully prepared to disregard his friends feelings if it means getting laid. 

Good question. I don’t know if he is, he seemed really nice before which was why it’s a shock, but I think  of the interaction where I play told him to not tell his gf about going on a trip with me and he said okay that’s a better idea. And also how he kept bringing up my ex would not be okay with it but we should do it anyway. He just seems sneaky. Good question though. Maybe not the best word. 

He texted today to ask me how I like what he sold, so I blocked him. Don’t have any ill will towards the guy, but he’s so messy so I dont feel bad for the block. 
 

hey, Andy 👋 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[NuevoYorko]

Is spending your time and energy playing games with a gross loser any creepier than him asking an ex of a friend out?   

 

[Cookiesandough]

No, I don’t think it’s creepier. Sure, I could been at home on loveshack, but I thought it was fun. Maybe we just got different ideas of a good time. 
 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Andy_K]

17 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Good question. I don’t know if he is, he seemed really nice before which was why it’s a shock, but I think  of the interaction where I play told him to not tell his gf about going on a trip with me and he said okay that’s a better idea. And also how he kept bringing up my ex would not be okay with it but we should do it anyway. He just seems sneaky. Good question though. Maybe not the best word. 

He texted today to ask me how I like what he sold, so I blocked him. Don’t have any ill will towards the guy, but he’s so messy so I dont feel bad for the block. 
 

hey, Andy 👋 

Hey Cookies 👋

So yeah maybe not a cheater then but a potential one... assuming he'd have followed through with it and wasn't just caught up in the fantasy of it. His ego obviously took a massive blow from his partner degrading their 'status' as it were so that would've been affecting him negatively. But as they say, it's adversity that brings out people's true colours. Anyone can be good when everything is going right in their life!

Also a good reason why you shouldn't get serious about someone till you've seen how they handle themselves when TSHTF 😆

[Cookiesandough]

13 minutes ago, Andy_K said:

Hey Cookies 👋

So yeah maybe not a cheater then but a potential one... assuming he'd have followed through with it and wasn't just caught up in the fantasy of it. His ego obviously took a massive blow from his partner degrading their 'status' as it were so that would've been affecting him negatively. But as they say, it's adversity that brings out people's true colours. Anyone can be good when everything is going right in their life!

Also a good reason why you shouldn't get serious about someone till you've seen how they handle themselves when TSHTF 😆

Agree. He’s always flirted with girls (including me) when he’s in the rship. But harmless flirting doesn’t make someone a bad guy. This might just felt different. But not going to spell out all that happened. .Just didn’t know he had it in him to sly my ex like this by going this deep with it. I guess the context here is what really matters but my ex was seriously messed up about our break up and told a lot of people about it, including him. He even told me my ex was really bad way and wouldn’t shut up for months the first time. Also my ex loaned him $ and gear etc. So the fact he’d even go there is messed up to me. These h*es ain’t loyal. 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[jspice]

39 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

Is spending your time and energy playing games with a gross loser any creepier than him asking an ex of a friend out?   

 

It was supposed to be “fun”.

my dictionary must have the wrong, outdated definition of fun. 

[Cookiesandough]

13 minutes ago, jspice said:

It was supposed to be “fun”.

my dictionary must have the wrong, outdated definition of fun. 

The problem might be that you’re letting something else define your meaning of fun.. Some people find reading/responding to stranger’s romance/relationship stories on a forum fun, some people find it a waste of time and energy. Some people find flirting/effing with dumb dudes fun, some people find it a waste of time and energy. Everyone’s different. 
 

If people can’t see past their opinion of me to say that what I did and what this guy did to his friend is not symmetrical in any way, not much I can do about that

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[jspice]

5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

The problem might be that you’re letting something else define your meaning of fun.. Some people find reading and responding fo stranger’s romance/relationship stories on a forum fun, some people find it a waste of time and energy. Some people find effing with dumb dudes entertaining, some people find it a waste of time and energy. Everyone’s different

I don’t think I’m the one with the problem here … 

What did you think was going to happen when you decided to mess with him? 
If he was a stand up guy and didn’t take the bait you threw out, what next? Would you be here making fun of him because he didn’t subscribe to your version of “fun”?

Or he was going for door number 2 which he did and which gave you LS posting fodder. 

You’re blaming this guy for something you encouraged. If you want attention I’m sure there are better ways to get it. 
Teenagers “mess with people” for fun. 

[Cookiesandough]

21 minutes ago, jspice said:

I don’t think I’m the one with the problem here … 

What did you think was going to happen when you decided to mess with him? 
If he was a stand up guy and didn’t take the bait you threw out, what next? Would you be here making fun of him because he didn’t subscribe to your version of “fun”?

Or he was going for door number 2 which he did and which gave you LS posting fodder. 

You’re blaming this guy for something you encouraged. If you want attention I’m sure there are better ways to get it. 
Teenagers “mess with people” for fun. 

Thanks for your opinion. I don’t know what you mean by “take the bait” ? I know you for some reason don’t think I am a good person based on things you have said in other threads, but I really don’t think I baited anyone here unless my mere existence counts as bait.  And that sounds like blame the woman bs. I didn’t start it. I wasn’t the one who started the talk on nonmonogamy when you aren’t completely happy in a rship, or asked him to dinner, or put my arm around him. That’s him.  I was there and curious, so I just played along. And yeah, I would not have said anything about him if he had not done this. I guess my standards for men are much higher than a lot of people here, but I don’t think they’re too crazy. My question was to see if there was some other angle for him to be doing this to a close friend Bc I had seen this guy and his interactions with my ex, who is one of his closest friends, heard about his gf, 

 

but I guess people have more of a problem with the fact that  I, as a single woman, choose to flirt back  with someone or what piques my curiosity.  Not like I’m going to stop doing it, though.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I found this interaction interesting 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[jspice]

2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Thanks for your opinion. But I don’t know what you mean by “take the bait” ? I know you for some reason don’t think I am a good person based on things you have said in other threads, but I really don’t think I baited anyone here unless my mere existence counts as bait.  I didn’t start it. I wasn’t the one who asked him to dinner or put my arm around him. I was there and curious, so I just played along. And yeah, I would not have said anything about him if he had not done this. I guess my standards for men are much higher than a lot of people here, but I don’t think they’re too crazy. My question was to see if there was some other angle for him to be doing this to a close friend Bc I had seen this guy and his interactions with my ex, who is one of his closest friends, heard about his gf, 

 

but I guess people have more of a problem with what I, as a single woman, choose to flirt back with or what piques my curiosity.  Not like I’m going to stop doing it, though.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I found this interaction interesting 

You wanted advice in another thread about not having friends. I told you what I observed from what you write here. I told you how your actions could come off to others because you appeared to be looking for ways to make friends and keep them. 
 

If this is what you find interesting and fun then I’ll leave you to it. 
Good luck with your “relationships”. 

[Cookiesandough]

20 minutes ago, jspice said:

You wanted advice in another thread about not having friends. I told you what I observed from what you write here. I told you how your actions could come off to others because you appeared to be looking for ways to make friends and keep them. 
 

If this is what you find interesting and fun then I’ll leave you to it. 
Good luck with your “relationships”. 

Well, thanks, I guess. 

My question that thread(and this one)  was very specific and you gave your opinion outside of that realm and I disagreed with it.  I respect your opinion, I appreciate that you take time to give any opinion at all.  I just do not agree or think it’s pertinent to the question. Ty. 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Cookiesandough]

45 minutes ago, jspice said:

You wanted advice in another thread about not having friends. I told you what I observed from what you write here. I told you how your actions could come off to others because you appeared to be looking for ways to make friends and keep them. 
 

If this is what you find interesting and fun then I’ll leave you to it. 
Good luck with your “relationships”. 

Also, Jspice I never made a thread about not having friends. I have friends. Maybe you just didn’t read my thread thoroughly and you are not just trying to make things up, so I took that out 

 

I feel like you are trying to help me and I appreciate it.  But what you said about me in my other thread about not caring about people other than how they effect me were so off the mark that it can’t help me in that scenario .  I care about people. 

Edited July 26, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[jspice]

28 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Also, Jspice I never made a thread about not having friends. I have friends. Maybe you just didn’t read my thread thoroughly and you are not just trying to make things up, so I took that out 

 

I feel like you are trying to help me and I appreciate it.  But what you said about me in my other thread about not caring about people other than how they effect me were so off the mark that it can’t help me in that scenario .  I care about people. 

I didn’t say you don’t care about people. I think you probably care a lot about people’s feelings. I said your actions make it appear as though you don’t care. 
I also said you probably hate confrontation which is why you block people instead of being upfront about your feelings. 

Anyway, it seems like our communication styles don’t mesh, so I’ll refrain from weighing in on your threads anymore in order to prevent any further misunderstandings. 

[smackie9]

Just remember cheaters lie. Most likely nothing is wrong with his relationship and his GF is probably not getting chicks on the side. Sounds like he was bragging in a gross way.."Oh I'm dating a stripper." idiot. makes me wonder if she really exists. Obviously the guy is lonely, thought he boost his poor pathetic ego. He ain't got no bAllz to really go through with it. brush it off....then block/delete.

[Daisydooks]

On 7/25/2021 at 2:32 PM, Cookiesandough said:

idk. We just had a connection. And I’m really great it bed. “ 

Stop saying this nonsense to people you dont want to f***. Lol. This is why creeps hangs off you. Hahahaha

[Daisydooks]

5 hours ago, jspice said:

It was supposed to be “fun”.

my dictionary must have the wrong, outdated definition of fun. 

I would rather have a root canal than do this. Lol. This sounds like a hot mess from the start. Id have said no to a drink with a drunken friend of my ex in a hot second. Hahahaha What made any of that fun? Curiosity will kill me if you dont tell me 🤣🤣🤣

[Cookiesandough]

2 hours ago, Daisydooks said:

I would rather have a root canal than do this. Lol. This sounds like a hot mess from the start. Id have said no to a drink with a drunken friend of my ex in a hot second. Hahahaha What made any of that fun? Curiosity will kill me if you dont tell me 🤣🤣🤣

Lol I guess I am just attracted to awkward/‘hot mess’ situations, but I totally get it’s not for everybody 

[Cookiesandough]

6 hours ago, jspice said:

I didn’t say you don’t care about people. I think you probably care a lot about people’s feelings. I said your actions make it appear as though you don’t care. 
I also said you probably hate confrontation which is why you block people instead of being upfront about your feelings. 

Anyway, it seems like our communication styles don’t mesh, so I’ll refrain from weighing in on your threads anymore in order to prevent any further misunderstandings. 

I think our communication meshes and I didn’t want to make it seem like I don’t appreciate your input Bc I do. I’m sorry. I do care and I am trying to fix some things I’m doing wrong, but flirting will not be one of those things haha 

 

I appreciate you and your input, jspice . Sry if I didn’t give that impression , was just explaining my sitch

Edited July 27, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[NuevoYorko]

On 7/25/2021 at 3:32 PM, basil67 said:

A drunken (married) friend of my husband got all gushy and gooey at me recently, but I left it alone because he was drunk.  I certainly didn't go baiting him to see how far it will go and then complain about it.

 

 

Well, clearly you don't know how to have a good time.  Missed opportunity.

[Daisydooks]

On 7/26/2021 at 9:32 PM, Cookiesandough said:

Lol I guess I am just attracted to awkward/‘hot mess’ situations, but I totally get it’s not for everybody 

But are you? Not being a b****y snarky ass. I promise. You do this to yourself then ghost people and act all awkward afterwards. So on some level, its really  not something you're attracted to. You do this stuff and then pull the old ghost on people who get weird with you (and even those who arent awkward with you,) youre confused about their behaviour. Some of the time their behaviour is all from the bait youre tossing out and then you get all weirded out by it and ask questions like in this original post.

"I totally baited him, flirted with him, mentioned one bed in Tennessee instead of the 2 he suggested, then he totally got into it and was drunkenly flirting with me! How dare he?!?!? Gasp! How dare he take the bait?!? Isnt he friends with my ex that I sort of dated for like 3.6 months?! I mean, I mentioned how awesome I was in bed to a very drunk man who is kind of friends with this guy (not sure how close they actually are,) so isn't that being sleezy of him because he has a GF?!?" The reality is you baited him completely while drunk (not an excuse to cheat on his cheaty stripper GF BUT alas... he felt entitled I suppose and went along with it 😅)

How attracted to these weird interactions are you actually?