basscatcher Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I read another thread on here and it reminded me of a gausting discovery I had the other night.. My gf, who is also my exh exgf (after me) said he carries a pick of me in his wallet still of when we first met. My gosh that was back in 1987... That just flips me out. What the heck.. That is just too weird for me. I have pics of him still in the photo albums because it is my son's father and my son still lives with me. Someday I will put them all in a album of itself and give it to my son. But what the heck is my ex still carring a pic around of him and I in his wallet. The pic is before our son came.. Long before. It was the first few months after we started dating.. Freaky... We've been divorced for 8 years this week. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Your getting this info second .. don't trust it.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Your getting this info second .. don't trust it.. I trust her. She and I have been really close friends for over a year now. We share some very common and almost identical ground. I was married to the scumm and she dated him off and on for 3 years. She leaned on me when things got really bad because I totally understood what she was enduring. We both went to court to place Orders of Protection again him because he has been harrassing and threatening both of us. She and I were looking through photo albums when she told me. She said he also carries a family photo of him, I and our son. I trust her.... We have cried together, laughed together, harrassed good lookin hotties while driving down the freeway together, we party together. She is very much like a sister to me.. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Doesn't matter.. She used to date him too.. Her info is going to be biased to make him look like a douch bag.. He isn't carring around a pic of you in his wallet.. 8 years after the divorce.. The story smells... If you really want to know ask your ex or your son I think the story is bogus Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 I am with AC here. (we ought to grab a beer when I am in ATL next time) and it sounds bogus to me. Even if I was still pining after you, I think the protective order would have cured that--now if it has a target over your face and he uses it for darts or perhaps target practice while peeeing, I can see it, but I doubt it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Doesn't matter.. She used to date him too.. Her info is going to be biased to make him look like a douch bag.. He isn't carring around a pic of you in his wallet.. 8 years after the divorce.. The story smells... If you really want to know ask your ex or your son I think the story is bogus She is dating his best friend (well former best friend.) I don't think she is lying or telling a story.. My exh cries all the time and still attacks me for walking out on him. He jumps all over me for her walking out on him and I had nothing to do with it. His son doesnt want anything to do with him either. I wouldn't put it past him if he did have one in there.. I won't talk to my exh because I have a Order of Protection on him. He threated to destroy our lives. This man has shown signs of obsession, stalking, harrassment, he has become a nut job. I can ask my son if he know anything about it. I think its just weird if he really does carry a pic of us. If he does I can see why none of his relationships work. He hasn't been able to totally move on. My gf is the only woman who stuck around past 2 months with him. He was the lessor of evils in her life when it came to men. He treated her better then the other men in her life. But that isnt saying much. He is abusive, controlling, manipulative, unforgiving, drug addict and alcoholic. Because of the character traits he possess I wouldn't put it past him to have a old pic of us in his wallet. He carried around a exgf pic for a year when he and I started to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 Seems to me that you want to believe that he has been pinning away for you for 8 years... When I divorced my exwife and I imagine this goes for everyone else as well... I took all the pics of my ex and stepdaughter and removed them from my wallet and from my office and desk as well as form the walls of the house..Within days of filing for divorce.. Your ex has not had a pic of you in his wallet for 8 years.. Sorry.. I think your friend is trying to stir up the sh*t pot !! Do you carry a pic of him or any of your ex's in your purse ? Check it out for yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Seems to me that you want to believe that he has been pinning away for you for 8 years... When I divorced my exwife and I imagine this goes for everyone else as well... I took all the pics of my ex and stepdaughter and removed them from my wallet and from my office and desk as well as form the walls of the house..Within days of filing for divorce.. Your ex has not had a pic of you in his wallet for 8 years.. Sorry.. I think your friend is trying to stir up the sh*t pot !! Do you carry a pic of him or any of your ex's in your purse ? Check it out for yourself No I don't carry any photos of him or any ex's in my purse... YUCK I am the one who walked on that marriage and never looked back.. He however had attempted to get me back several times and even bribe me in the past.. The only source I have to confirm this statement is my 16 year old son. I will ask him. And, NO I dont want him to have a pic of me in his wallet. That would creep me out. I would be on-guard even more about him then I already am. I don't want him to be pineing in secret for me. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl. Yikes.. Before the OP was put in place he called me all the time crying about his life then he would attack me for f*cking it up. (because I left him.) He tells me all the time he cares about me and if anyone hurts me he will defend me. There a little things he has done in the past that makes me believe my gf. A normal man would do as you said you did and what I have done. But he is not normal.. I divorced him for a reason.. 11 1/2 yrs of his insanity and screwed up beliefs were enough for me. I grew up and realized what I was living was not a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 The only source I have to confirm this statement is my 16 year old son. I will ask him. Good idea.. 16 is old enough for something of this nature.. If he does have a pic of you in his wallet could you somehow use that in your favor because of the TPO ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 Good idea.. 16 is old enough for something of this nature.. If he does have a pic of you in his wallet could you somehow use that in your favor because of the TPO ? TPO? Order of Protection?? He has already broke it. We have filed a report and complaint on him. My son even gave testomony to the police officer about his dad trying to use him to get info about her and I and attempting to fill his sons head full of BS. My son witnessed a lot of shyt from his dad.. If he is carrying old photo's around of me the OP (order of protection) doesn't cover that kind of action. It's his preogitive to carry them if he is, but it would show me that he hasn't moved forward.. He is still clinging to the past... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted October 18, 2005 Share Posted October 18, 2005 maybe it is your "butch" qualities that draw him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 18, 2005 Author Share Posted October 18, 2005 maybe it is your "butch" qualities that draw him. ahahaha Country Girl ya mean. Could be.. We use to do a lot of guy stuff together. He can't find a woman who will go fishing with him or race cars. ahahaha. He's a idiot anyway. The kind of woman he will end up with if he doesnt get help and change is some drunken/drug addicted yuck.. He has so many things wrong with him. If I was to start a bashing thread about my exh its wouldn't be pretty.. Link to post Share on other sites
tonyp56 Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Why does it matter if he does or doesn't have a pic of you and him together in his wallet? I mean, really so what. It could be he really likes the pic, it could be that was a happy time for him, it could be that he still finds you attractive, and it could mean he has simply forgot to take it out. If you aren't married to him anymore, why does it matter to you if he has a pic of you on his wall, in his wallet, on his computer, etc.? You sound like you are reading too much into this, you seem to think that if he is carring a pic of you then he must be nuts, but come on. Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 While I can see where you might wonder what would cause a person to carry a picture of an ex years later, it doesn't automatically mean he is psycho, still pining for you, or "BS". It is still a memory of his life. A part of who he is. the existence of this picture in and of itself does not classify him as not having "moved on" or that he is psychotic. You have given plenty of other reasons to classify him as psychotic. I still have pictures of my XW on my computer. (granted, they are not backed up on a disc anywhere, so if something happened to my computer..... poof! ) It doesn't mean that I am hung up on my XW, that I am pining for her. Nothing could be further from the truth. But they are still a part of my life that has shaped me into the person that I am. She is still the mother of my two daughters. and as much as it pains me to even have to think about, someone I will have to deal with for many years to come. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 I still have pictures of my stbxh in my wallet. I've had it there since he gave them to me early on in our relationship, about 10 years now (it's been transfered from wallet to wallet). It's not prominently displayed in my wallet. I often forget it's in there. I dont know why I havent removed them. Probably cos I dont want to see them and dont know where to put them. We've been separated for 8 months now. You guys have children together. You left the marriage? He just wants to hold onto a piece of his history. Not that he's pinning over you, but he just doesnt want to move the photos. It's like a habbit for him. The place needs photos, and these are the most meaningful photos he has to put there (The mother of his child, and his child). If he married someone else, you'll be replaced. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 19, 2005 Author Share Posted October 19, 2005 I still have pictures of my stbxh in my wallet. I've had it there since he gave them to me early on in our relationship, about 10 years now (it's been transfered from wallet to wallet). It's not prominently displayed in my wallet. I often forget it's in there. I dont know why I havent removed them. Probably cos I dont want to see them and dont know where to put them. We've been separated for 8 months now. You guys have children together. You left the marriage? He just wants to hold onto a piece of his history. Not that he's pinning over you, but he just doesnt want to move the photos. It's like a habbit for him. The place needs photos, and these are the most meaningful photos he has to put there (The mother of his child, and his child). If he married someone else, you'll be replaced. Gaud I hope so. Its freaky to me. I have had to deal with him for the last 8 years constantly reminding me how miserable he is. He attacks me verbally about leaving him. My son confirmed he carries pics of me in his wallet and my gf (his exgf) said it's true and she confronted him about it. I can understand everyone's opinions. I just don't like the idea of him carrying a pic of me in his wallet. (one of just him and I). I can understand the one with all of us. It is a family photo (last one.) I know my exh has a obsessive nature. He doesnt let go of anything easily. If he lets go at all.for 11 1/2 yrs I listened to him talk about his exgf. With the actions he has taken in the last 9 months I know he is mentally unstable. He needs help. With him still carrying a pic around of him and I it adds to my concern about his unstable behaviour. He's a walking time-bomb and I fear what he could do if he trips out enough on his drug of choice, alcohol, and loneliness.. AND no one can get him help. He has to do it himself.. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted October 19, 2005 Share Posted October 19, 2005 Well, by the sounds of it, he seems pretty unstable regardless if he's carrying a picture of you or not. And to be frank, there's not much you can do about worrying about him carrying a picture or not. You cant take it away from him. And confronting him only brings you back into his world. I'd stop worrying about the picture itself. If he's pining for you, you cant control or stop that, so why waste energy making yourself upset over it. That's not to say you shouldnt take precautions around your ex tho. He doesnt sound very stable. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I agree with dgiirl - you already think he's off his rocker... having a picture is a relatively small part of the big picture, if you really think about it. It probably just seems wierder, and is easier to focus on, because it's a concrete manifestation of what's going on in his head. But the real concern is what's going on in his head, not what's printed on a piece of paper in his wallet. Also, in respectful disagreement with ArtCritic, I would suggest that you avoid using your son as a confederate in investigating your XH. He deserves to be neutral, or at least to make his own choices. Even if your son has made some decisions or "picked sides" himself, the last thing anyone needs is for your XH to perceive that your son has been "turned against him" by you, especially if he is as unstable as you say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author basscatcher Posted October 21, 2005 Author Share Posted October 21, 2005 Also, in respectful disagreement with ArtCritic, I would suggest that you avoid using your son as a confederate in investigating your XH. He deserves to be neutral, or at least to make his own choices. Even if your son has made some decisions or "picked sides" himself, the last thing anyone needs is for your XH to perceive that your son has been "turned against him" by you, especially if he is as unstable as you say. I havent used my son in any way for anything concerning my xh. My son has chosen a side much to my disapproval of it. I have also been perceived as turning my son against his father in which I havent. I have always encouraged and supported my son and his father spending quality time together which has rarely happened. My son is old enough to make his own judgement about his father and he has based on his own experiences and witness of his fathers actions. My son has confronted his father in the face and told him point blank it is his decisions not mine. That is opinions of him are his and not by any intervention of mine. My son has a very good head on his shoulders and he would make a great Psychologist if he should ever chose to be,.. He's sharp and has good insight and good values and morals. He made a statement to everyone including his father that he doesnt want to see him or have anything to do with him until he get help and go to AA and drug rehab. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 padameckla - please excuse my incautious use of the term "using your son." In reading back over my post, that seems more blunt than I would have wished. My concern was that your son not be at risk of being seen as being on any kind of mission from you, but it sounds like both (a) you have a good perspective on this issue, and (b) your son does indeed have a good head on his shoulders, and is able to stand up for himself. Good for you both... Watch your back, but keep moving forward. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
jaye Posted October 21, 2005 Share Posted October 21, 2005 I read another thread on here and it reminded me of a gausting discovery I had the other night.. My gf, who is also my exh exgf (after me) said he carries a pick of me in his wallet still of when we first met. My gosh that was back in 1987... That just flips me out. What the heck.. That is just too weird for me. I have pics of him still in the photo albums because it is my son's father and my son still lives with me. Someday I will put them all in a album of itself and give it to my son. But what the heck is my ex still carring a pic around of him and I in his wallet. The pic is before our son came.. Long before. It was the first few months after we started dating.. Freaky... We've been divorced for 8 years this week. Maybe he still loves you. Link to post Share on other sites
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