My parents don't want me to date because of covid.

[ironpony]

I live with my parents and I started a relationship with a new gf but they do not want me to date because of covid and have some arguments over it.  Even if I moved out though, they would still argue with me over it because then they wouldn't be able to see or visit me because of covid either.  Me and my gf both got the vaccine, but my parents say that doesn't do any good, because we could still be carriers of it if we come into contact with it.

Do they have a point?  It's just that after staying home for over a year because of covid, and loosing my last job because of it and other career opportunities, I feel like I need to do something otherwise I am going to psychologically go nuts.  So I feel like I need to persue the relationship I want, rather than have people tell me what to do all the time, and I need to do this for my own mental health.

What do you think?  Is there a way to compromise this possibly, or do you need to break some eggs to make an omelette so to speak?

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, ironpony said:

I live with my parents and I started a relationship with a new gf but they do not want me to date because of covid

What has been going on the last year and a half since covid began, before vaccines, etc.? Suddenly they don't want you dating after18 mos. but were fine  during the worst of covid?

[ironpony]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

What has been going on the last year and a half since covid began, before vaccines, etc.? Suddenly they don't want you dating after18 mos. but were fine  during the worst of covid?

No I wasn't dating hardly back then either.  Just started back up more so

[basil67]

Are your parents vaccinated?

[central]

Even if vaccinated, you can infect others, which is why the CDC is urging mask use again.  If your parents are not vaccinated, they could get very sick if you transmit it to them.  If they're not vaccinated, why aren't they?  They are probably in a high risk category.  But even if they are vaccinated, they can still get covid, but are unlikely to get very sick or die.

Edited July 31, 2021 by central

[ShyViolet]

13 hours ago, ironpony said:

 Even if I moved out though, they would still argue with me over it because then they wouldn't be able to see or visit me because of covid either. 

This is completely irrelevant.  If you didn't live with them, you could do whatever you want and you wouldn't need their approval on how you live your life.   From your other posts I have seen that you're in your late 30's.  You have a pretty unhealthy relationship with your parents.  The bottom line is that you need to move out already and live like an adult.  

It's unreasonable for them to expect a man in his 30's not to date.  If you didn't live with them and they chose not to visit you because of this, then so be it, that's their choice.  People are getting vaccinated and living their lives, we can't stay in lockdown and refrain from any and all dating forever.  That's not going to happen.  

[glows]

They seem quite anxious so personally no, I would not go against their wishes especially if I were living under someone else’s roof. That would be disrespectful and would do poorly for your relationship with them. If you moved out you may still visit your parents and you can socialize outdoors if they feel very nervous. 

It doesn’t sound like moving out is an option though or is it?

[Donnas]

How old are you????

And many gets corona after the vaccine.

Your reason for dating is not really romantic...

You can socialize with your friends to if that is what you missed. 

And if you are not underage, your parents can only advice you. You are the one that chose,and be careful since the virus still out there.

Like both of you get tested before kissing etc.

[ironpony]

Oh well we can't get tested everytime though, but what good is taking the vaccine for both of us if it doesn't do any good?  I'm 37.  Well I would rather date this woman since I like her and would like to.  I like her, and it's not just about socializing with people.

[basil67]

Their house, their rules.  

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, ironpony said:

 what good is taking the vaccine for both of us if it doesn't do any good?  

Why are you disseminating this disinformation?

[ironpony]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why are you disseminating this disinformation?

Oh I didn't think it was disinformation, it's just one of the posts before said that I coul still spread covid, even with the vaccine.  Therefore, I was just asking what's the point of getting the vaccine then, if we are to just not go out of the house anywhere ever as a result?

Plus my parents still accept me going to work even though at work, the chances of gettting covid are much higher, compared to going to hang with my gf in an environment where we are mostly alone though.

Edited August 1, 2021 by ironpony

[Pumpernickel]

Unless you’re from a culture in which adult children typically live with their parents until they’re “married off”, I don’t understand why at the age of 37 you’re still living with them, let alone letting them interfere with your dating decisions? Can you explain that? You obviously have a job which they approve of. Don’t they think you’re too old to stay with them as a bachelor forever? I don’t get the dynamics here. Is that a financial decision, as in you can’t afford your own place? I mean, if that’s the issue you can’t really do anything for now. It’s their home, and they make their own rules. At the same time, I don’t understand how parents can look at their 37-year old son and expect him to stay home all the time. That’s really unhealthy. Most “normal” parents want their kids to be happy, to be independent, have a career & a social life. And a romantic life. You sound more like a teenager in Highschool TBH, than an adult. And since you’re asking and posting, I’m assuming that’s not the way you want to live. So why live that way?? 

Edited August 1, 2021 by Pumpernickel

[ASG]

44 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Oh I didn't think it was disinformation, it's just one of the posts before said that I coul still spread covid, even with the vaccine.  Therefore, I was just asking what's the point of getting the vaccine then, if we are to just not go out of the house anywhere ever as a result?

Plus my parents still accept me going to work even though at work, the chances of gettting covid are much higher, compared to going to hang with my gf in an environment where we are mostly alone though.

You CAN still become infected and, if that occurs, spread it. But being vaccinated decreases that by a significant amount. So, while your parents are right, being vaccinated is the way that you get to live a normal life. 

 

Are they vaccinated as well? If yes, then the risk is minimal. 

 

Also, to people saying "their home their rules", that doesn't really apply. The OP is still an adult and what he does out of the house is not their business. OP is already in contact with people at work and they don't seem to have an issue with that. So I'm not sure how they can stop him from dating. 

 

 

 

[elaine567]

27 minutes ago, Pumpernickel said:

Unless you’re from a culture in which adult children typically live with their parents until they’re “married off”, I don’t understand why at the age of 37 you’re still living with them, let alone letting them interfere with your dating decisions? Can you explain that? You obviously have a job which they approve of. Don’t they think you’re too old to stay with them as a bachelor forever? I don’t get the dynamics here. Is that a financial decision, as in you can’t afford your own place? I mean, if that’s the issue you can’t really do anything for now. It’s their home, and they make their own rules. At the same time, I don’t understand how parents can look at their 37-year old son and expect him to stay home all the time. That’s really unhealthy. Most “normal” parents want their kids to be happy, to be independent, have a career & a social life. And a romantic life. You sound more like a teenager in Highschool TBH, than an adult. And since you’re asking and posting, I’m assuming that’s not the way you want to live. So why live that way?? 

Ironpony is autistic - read his other threads.
He has never lived alone. 
His parents do not think he is capable of living alone.  
The real issue with his current gf is that she is only 21. Covid I guess is an excuse though it may not be. I do not know how vulnerable his parents actually are. Vaccines are good but they are not 100% , no vaccine is.
His brother is also autistic and lives at home , he may also be more vulnerable to the disease, I don't know.

His parents are looking for a more mature woman for ironpony, someone around his own age,  so she is more able to "look after him" when they can't...

[ShyViolet]

11 hours ago, ironpony said:

 but what good is taking the vaccine for both of us if it doesn't do any good? 

Where on earth are you getting this garbage information from?  It's not true that the vaccine "doesn't do any good."  The vaccines are very effective.  I hope you educate yourself more on this topic.  Yes there are breakthrough infections and you can still possibly get covid if you're vaccinated, but the risks of that are much, much smaller and if you do get it, you're greatly protected from the severe effects.

[RecentChange]

Are you not vaccinated Pony? 

The vaccine is 95% effective at keeping people out of the hospital, but the bad news is if appears to be only 45% effective against infection of the delta variant. Further the delta variant is causing such high virus loads even vaccinated people are able to spread it if they do become infected. 

It's still critical that people get vaccinated, as vaccination reduces chances of serious illness.

If you are 37, I imagine your parents aren't spring chickens, which puts them in a high risk category. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate having a roommate that wasn't vaccinated, and was going out and participating in activities that put them at high risk of infection. Because unvaccinated people are much more likely to come down with this highly contagious delta variant and infect a vaccinated person.

[Miss Spider]

Idk depends on where you’re at on the spectrum. Could be your parents being overprotective. My parents did this to an extent too. They have a good intentions but it’s actually enabling you and to not try to make it out in the world on your own.

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, ironpony said:

my parents still accept me going to work even though at work, the chances of gettting covid are much higher, compared to going to hang with my gf in an environment where we are mostly alone though.

It sounds like they just don't want you dating when you may be unprepared for an unexpected preganacy. Perhaps they are overprotective because of your situation.

[Miss Spider]

sorry, that was supposed to be*enabling you not to try 

[Happy Lemming]

I have a question... What do you think your parents response would be if you asked them for financial assistance in paying rent on a decent apartment (month to month lease)??

Let's say you can afford about 70% of the cost of a decent apartment (on your present salary), would they be willing to pay the other 30%??

You'd be out on your own and date whomever you want. You could talk to your parents over the phone or visit with them over zoom (from your new apartment).

Edited August 1, 2021 by Happy Lemming

[basil67]

9 hours ago, ASG said:

Also, to people saying "their home their rules", that doesn't really apply. The OP is still an adult and what he does out of the house is not their business. OP is already in contact with people at work and they don't seem to have an issue with that. So I'm not sure how they can stop him from dating. 

They may not be able to stop him dating outside the house, but they are able to make things more difficult by not allowing him to bring the g/f home.   

[ironpony]

5 hours ago, RecentChange said:

Are you not vaccinated Pony? 

The vaccine is 95% effective at keeping people out of the hospital, but the bad news is if appears to be only 45% effective against infection of the delta variant. Further the delta variant is causing such high virus loads even vaccinated people are able to spread it if they do become infected. 

It's still critical that people get vaccinated, as vaccination reduces chances of serious illness.

If you are 37, I imagine your parents aren't spring chickens, which puts them in a high risk category. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate having a roommate that wasn't vaccinated, and was going out and participating in activities that put them at high risk of infection. Because unvaccinated people are much more likely to come down with this highly contagious delta variant and infect a vaccinated person.

Yes I'm vaccinated but that's not good enough for my parents, so I am not sure what else I can do since the vaccine is humanity's only medication against covid.  My parents are not vaccinated as they do not believe in it.

Edited August 2, 2021 by ironpony

[ironpony]

1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said:

I have a question... What do you think your parents response would be if you asked them for financial assistance in paying rent on a decent apartment (month to month lease)??

Let's say you can afford about 70% of the cost of a decent apartment (on your present salary), would they be willing to pay the other 30%??

You'd be out on your own and date whomever you want. You could talk to your parents over the phone or visit with them over zoom (from your new apartment).

I am not sure.  I could ask them.

[ironpony]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

It sounds like they just don't want you dating when you may be unprepared for an unexpected preganacy. Perhaps they are overprotective because of your situation.

Oh well they didn't say unexpected pregnancy was what was frustrated them with me having a gf; they said covid.